


A Supernatural Delight

by ForeverLilacLies



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Teen Titans (Animated Series), Under the Red Hood, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Gen, M/M, Protective Jason, Racism, Recreational Drug Use, Religion, Romani Dick Grayson, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-31 23:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverLilacLies/pseuds/ForeverLilacLies
Summary: "I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well." Jason whispered and Dick blinked, looking to his lines in confusion, looking for the particular line and Jason in that instant was prepared to kiss him. He had never wanted to do anything so badly. Dick looked up, as Jason leaned forward and for a moment it seemed Dick was moving forward to. Maybe it was to kiss him, maybe it was to hug him, maybe it was all Jason's imagination, but nothing could stop him. He had to do this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking major liberties with the timeline, but it's not called fanfiction for nothing! So, as I've written it, Jason and Dick lived together for a time before Dick leaves for the Titans. It gives them a more solid foundation for later on.
> 
> This will cover over Young Justice, Teen Titans as well as Batman and will be from Jason's POV.
> 
> Rated for Jason's potty mouth.

 

The first thing I remember is that the air was musky and damp. The second was the silence. I'd never realized how quiet something could be. I lived in the city; there was always some sort of noise. Gotham's ambience was something I was used to. The silence was something I never wanted to hear again. The Lazarus Pits had brought me back, but I still had to claw my way to freedom. If I close my eyes and think hard enough I can still feel the splinters under my fingers from clawing at my coffin. I can still smell that rancid too hot air and can still hear my heart pounding in my head. Sometimes, I wonder if I had ever left it in the first place.

I was once the second Robin. Second in every way. In skill, in preference and in life. I had hoped until the very end that Batman would come for me. I hadn't even considered the alternative until it was blasting at me and turning my world dark. Batman was supposed to be infallible. Batman was supposed to always be there. I guess I should be used to disappointment by now.

My life was split in two parts. One before the Joker and one after. Before the Joker I was Jason Todd, street urchin turned sidekick to the Batman. The first me was young and naive even though I pretended that I was king of the mountain. The first me saw opportunity in everything. There was nothing impossible if I wanted it enough. I was the street smart, wisecracking kid that could keep up at Batman's side. The first me saw Bruce as this unstoppable force of nature that could have never done any wrong. First me was an idiot. The second me knew better.

Well, here's the deal. It's pretty widely assumed that I came after Dickie-bird and that we never actually interacted all that much. It's true that I became Robin after him, but it was before his and Bat's falling out. He was Robin and so was I. Dickie had been taken in by Bruce when he was eight after the whole thing happened with his folks. He became Robin by nine. It was just the two of them for a bit and it would have remained that way if I hadn't tried to jack Bat's tires. My dad died when I was really young. He and Ma met at the little pub she had been working at. Ma told me that he was from Puerto Rico and had the most beautiful dark eyes she had ever seen. I took after her with my pale skin, red hair and green eyes, but I had dad's mouth and facial structure. Before he died he had even been trying to teach me Spanish. Ma had picked it up and continued to teach me for a while after he was gone. It wasn't like he stepped out on us or anything. He had actually loved my mother and me, but he had some jobs in wrong places and it ended up killing him. Ma had an addiction problem she couldn't cut. I can remember coming home some nights and finding her passed out on the couch or sprawled out, eyes glassy and still high. She never seemed to recognize me when she was high, staring at m as if I wasn't even there. Sometimes I got to thinking that I wasn't. That it was just her stuck in her own world. I took care of her though. I'd do some odd jobs and get some money for her. Somedays were better than others. Somedays there would be food in the cupboards and Ma would actually be there and want to be around me. We liked playing card games and Ma taught me how to play poker like a pro. Then there were days where she would be gone for days and stumble back with her glassy eyes and slurred voice. I got to placing Ma as two different people. One where she was too high to function or notice me and the other where she would sit with me on the ratty old couch and watch old movies while we pigged out on junk food. I like to think of this time with her…not so much the other.

She had died a couple of months before I met Bruce, overdosing for me to find slumped over the toilet. It left me to fend for myself. I managed to avoid the orphanage and took to the streets. I stole things and managed to make some money to get by. It was foggy the night I saw the Batmobile. I was ten years old and knew that I could make some pretty good money off those tires. The Bat was nowhere around and I left a kind of thrill to be able to get this close to the Batmobile. I was home free, but it was Dickie who caught me. He was twelve and shorter than I was. I could have taken him on pure size alone, but when the literal Robin drops in on you trying to steal from his boss, you don't tend to notice those kinds of things. I had been crouched down and hadn't noticed him at first until he called out. I half turned as I tried to make a run for it, but ended up tangling up in my own damn legs and nearly ate shit on the sidewalk. Robin...Dick swiftly approached, his expression not hostile, more like surprised curiosity.

"Are you...jacking _Batman's_ tires?" His voice was incredulous. I scowled, caught between running or facing down this midget. I ain't scared of some shrimpy little turd who looked like a traffic light.

"I **was** , until you interrupted." I spat out, tone petulant. The Robin was quiet for a long moment and I was itching to get away from his masked stare. Then he laughed. He actually _laughed_ at me. It wasn't one of those snotty laughs that the _elite_ would throw out, but one of those actually happy and open kind of laughs. Normally if anyone dared laugh at me I would have popped them in their lousy mouths and thrown insults, but I couldn't find the words. So I stared at him. His laughter died down after a moment and he studied me.

"Why are you stealing tires?" He asked, tone dropping and brows furrowing in...was that _concern_? I opened my mouth to offer a sarcastic retort when the big one dropped in. Batman was _**huge**_. Towering over the Robin and me like some damed gargoyle. I stepped back, gripping at the tire iron while Robin approached Batman, grinning like a maniac. Now, I still don't know what was going through Dickie-bird's pretty little head but he got Batman to back off. When the big guy asked where my folks were I puffed out my chest.

"Dead." I had replied stubbornly, eyeing Batman and feeling a lot less brave then I looked. Robin's face dropped in sympathy and that was annoying to see. I didn't need some kid's pity. Batman nodded once, mouth thin. I thought about just booking it down the street. I knew I wouldn't be followed but for some reason I remained rooted to the spot, keeping a tight grip on my tire iron. I shifted my weight onto my left foot, watching as Batman closely studied me.

"Do you have any family to go to?" He asked gruffly and I shook my head. After Ma died, I took mostly to the streets or hiding out in our old church. The church was one place where I felt safe. Af if praying to God would help me. I was alone. There was no point in lying to the guy.

"Nah, I'm on my own." I replied with a casual shrug. Batman continued to stare at me for a long moment and Robin shifted behind him, looking from me to the Bat curiously.

"You don't belong on the streets." The Bat pointed out and I scowled at him. Who was this freak to tell me where I belonged? I didn't need him telling me what was best for me!

"I ain't going to any orphanage," I snapped at him. "I know what happens to kids in that place." Robin flinched at this, masked face suddenly anxious, but I kept my eyes on Batman. I didn't care who he was, he couldn't make me to go that hellhole. Whatever was going through Batman's head seemed to come to an agreement or something because he finally nodded towards the tire iron I was gripping.

"And on the streets you could meet a worse fate." He looked over his shoulder to Robin who offered him a small smile. It was like those two were having some sort of telepathic conversation or something. When he turned back to face me, my fate was sealed.

"Come with us."

"What?" I dropped the tire iron and Robin laughed. Batman's lips quirked slightly, but he continued on.

"There's no future for you out here, I can offer you something more secure." I don't know what the guy was thinking…or what I was. I thought of Ma in her grave and our old apartment that had been abandoned. That was my home; I had nothing else to go to. I looked passed Batman at Robin who offered me one of those smiles of his that I would come to get used to. Batman quietly waited for me to make my choice. I guess it wasn't too much of a struggle.

I don't know what I expected going with them. I probably had figured that they lived in some cave or something. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Bruce Wayne was the Batman. Wayne Manor was beyond belief. I had never seen anything so fancy and could barely believe what I was seeing. I woulda just stayed there staring if Alfred hadn't found me. Alfred was a godsend. The old butler had obviously spoken to Bruce and approached me with a small smile on his face.

"Master Jason, I presume?" He greeted and I blinked, shifting from foot to foot. Master? What kind of weird ass title was that?

"Uhh." I began awkwardly. Alfred looked patient and I couldn't find my voice to offer any response. Luckily, Robin came to my rescue before I made a douche of myself.

"This is Alfred." Robin stated, walking up to stand next to me. I shook Alfred's hand and the old guy offered me another smile. His accent was all posh and fancy. I felt too dirty to touch him but his smile wasn't condescending or anything. I smiled back.

"Nice to meet you." I managed and Alfred replied with the same. There was a sparkle in his eye as he looked at me. It was kind of grandfatherly and made my chest feel warm.

"I shall have a room prepared for you shortly." Alfred stated as he headed down the hall. I glanced around, still in awe. The place was _**huge**_. There had to be at least like fifty rooms or something and for some reason, Batman wanted me to live here. I turned to look at Robin, realizing he was no longer in costume. His eyes…I can't even describe them…my mouth had gone dry. One eye was the brightest shade of baby blue I had ever seen and the other was a bright leafy green. Eyes like that got you noticed. You couldn't mistake him for someone else. If you saw him, you would recognize him in any crowd. I could just imagine what would happen in some villain saw them. He'd be recognized no problem and that could be dangerous. Robin watched me curiously and I cleared my throat.

"Sorry…your eyes…" I managed stupidly and Robin smiled at me in understanding He pointed to his blue eye.

"Heterochromia." He explained and I blinked at the word. What did he just call me? "My dad," He stated then to his green. "My mom." I stared hard at him, trying to figure out where I knew him from. He had a really slight accent that I couldn't place. I moved forward towards the kid.

"I'm Jason. Jason Todd." I stated and Robin held out his hand to shake mine.

"Nice to meet you, Jason. I'm Richard Grayson…you can call me Dick though." Normally I would have laughed at that sort of name, cause let's face it, _Dick_? Then it hit me.

Richard Grayson.

The Flying Graysons.

I remember hearing about them even before they all died. They were part of a circus group and were world famous. Could do all sorts of amazing stunts without a net. Then they came to Gotham and that all ended. Wasn't just his folks but his aunt, uncle and cousin too. The uncle hadn't died. I heard he had landed on top of his wife or something but ended up in a coma. He was still hooked up in the hospital until Dickie was old enough to make a choice to unplug him. I guess eight wasn't old enough for that sort of decision. My expression must have given away my thoughts because he indicated down the hall.

"I can show you around if you want. Bruce is just finishing up." I managed to offer Dick a weak smile which was returned full force. That's when Bruce walked up from the lair. He was softer looking without the mask on. Still young and from the tabloids, a player of sorts. Not the sort of person I would expect to run around in a giant bat costume, but I guess everyone processes grief differently.

Somehow, Dick ended up growing on me quick. Something about him just made me feel good and I actually liked the little spaz. I was tall and gangly with my red hair and pasty Irish skin. He was tiny and tan with that mop of dark curls. I was antagonistic and suspicious. He was way too chipper and upbeat but I guess opposites attract, right?

I don't know what made him want to take me in, but I wasn't about to ask. Gift horse kind of thing. So, I gained a family. Alfred, Bruce and Dickie-bird and eventually I would gain a title too. Like with Dickie, it took a year for me to become Robin. I was eleven by then and had hoped that one day I could go with them when they went out. I didn't get my own name though. Hawk or Eagle woulda been cool, but Bruce seemed set on me just being Robin; Not even Robin II. I thought Dickie mighta been peeved that he was sharing his name with me. I would have been but Dickie thought it was great.

"We can build an army of Robins, The Riddler would go nuts!" He had gleefully informed me. The guy was smart. Way too smart and there were times where I'd feel a tinge of jealousy. I couldn't help it. It felt like I was the outsider looking in even if he never thought of it that way. He excelled in school and could charm nearly anyone he spoke to. He was also juggling his time with the mini Justice League. I didn't like any of them, especially that Kid Flash asshole. It always felt like I was competing against him for Dick's attention and he knew it too. Smug bastard.

Dickie and I made a good team even without Batman. We complimented each other's fighting styles. Dick was all fluid and grace, as if he really were a bird. He barely seemed to touch the ground, lips always curled into that shit eating grin of his. While he was a dancer, I was all noise and swift movement. My body was my weapon and I used it to my full advantage. Fast and hard and unforgiving, taking after Batman in that regard.

Sometimes it was just Dick going with Bruce and other times it was just me. My favorites were when we went together. The two of us managing to find humor in everything when we were together. Somehow, Dickie had managed to worm his way into my heart. Even if he was smaller than me I still looked up to him. I still put him on the pedestal. It didn't take me long to realize that my feelings for him went beyond brotherly or worship like...I think I was in love. Even at eleven, I felt like I was utterly in love with the first Robin. Like roses and heart eyes and candy kind of love. Not that I'd ever say anything. Bruce was…well I don't know how to describe it. He wasn't like one of those dads that slaps you on the shoulder and calls you sport, but he still had a way with making me feel like I was worth something. It was a weird set up, but it was still as good a family as I thought I'd ever have.

* * *

Dickie was an actual bird, I swear to God; Or maybe a monkey. The little shit would climb on anything. Even the roof! He'd drag me up there along with him. He liked watching the stars and knew all the constellations. We'd sneak into each others rooms and huddle together on the bed. When it was dark out and it was just us, Dickie would tell me about the circus. His days with the them had taught him a lot of different things other than just acrobatics. He could read my palm and played Tarot with me, pulling me into this mythical state whereas far as I was concerned, Dick was otherworldly.

Bruce put me in the same school as Dickie. The little smart ass had skipped grades putting him three graded ahead of my instead of one. The school was pretty up tight but a lot of the kids hadn't yet gained their parents prejudice. Dickie was popular…me…not so much. I guess I enjoyed fighting in and out of costume. My grades were pretty good. I rocked at science. I had struggled and fought in my old school, but I think having a more solid home life helped me when I started at the new one. Bruce was probably exasperated with me by the second time he had to come to the school because of my fighting.

"You realize that you're grounded right?" Bruce sighed by the third time he had to bring me home. I think the first two times he was trying to give me some leeway, but now he had used it all up.

"Worth it." I gleefully responded as I followed Bruce into the manor.

"That means you'll be sitting out patrols." He reminded me and I squawked in indignant rage.

"Gotham needs me!" I called out after Bruce as he swept down the hall. I heard Alfred sigh from the kitchen.

Other then my misadventures at school, it was a good new life. Being a Robin was…freeing. Me and Dick had different strengths when working with Batman. Bruce honed my brute strength into a skill. My temper could be controlled and managed to where I was no longer lashing out at everyone, but taking out my anger on practice dummies. Bruce had his rules when it came to being Robin. No killing. That was a cardinal rule and of course, I was eleven. Who would I have wanted to kill? Sure I had my temper, but murder seemed so off to me. I never knew what would eventually come.

Along with the hero persona, came the Wayne persona too. Bruce had to keep up appearances and that meant a lot of sleaze coming into the Manor. Course, Brucie didn't surround himself with the nicest people. A lot of rich people are nice I bet. But a lot are assholes too. He'd have his shitty uppity charity events and that was usually when I'd have to deal with the stuck up noses of the elite class. I was a street rat taken in by charity. To them I was scum. The street rat with fiery Irish hair and that temper from Hell. For Goldie it was even worse at times. I didn't have the privilege of being upperclass or anything, but I was an American Gotham native. That saved me from what scrutiny I could have gotten. Goldie didn't have that saving grace.

Dick was Romanian born, moving to America when he was really young. He tried explaining Romani culture to me at one point. There was a difference between Romanian and Romani. Dick was Romani. The circus he was with traveled all across the country, even going international at times. Dickie had never lived in one place for a long time. When he came to live with Bruce, he was still rocky in his English. Something I found endearing when he would speak. None of those little rich assholes seemed to see Dick the way I did. He was called the carny by many of those snot nosed elites. It was obviously that he was looked down on for being part of the circus. That didn't seem to bother Dick all too badly. It pissed me off to no end.

He hated being called gypsy though. He knew what people meant when they said it. The underline revulsion in their voices as if this was still the God damned 1800's where racism was some kind of fad. They sneered at his olive tone and slight accent that he hid so well as Robin, but not so much as Richard Grayson. They acted as if they were anything but jealous of him, but they had to be. Richard was beautiful and different while they were all the same pasty white and boring.

I used to watch _**'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'** _ on t.v. with Ma. I had thought that the lady Esmeralda was the most kick ass Disney character. She was called gypsy too. Maybe the childish part of me started seeing Dickie as my own version of Esmeralda. Back then I just thought it was because of the whole heritage thing. It took me way too long to realize that Dickie represented to me what Esmeralda did to Quasimodo. Anyway, I heard gypsy thrown around by a lot of those elite assholes and it took a lot not to lose my shit on them.

_Charity case._

That was what we were to these clowns.

Bruce made us go to these shitty events and we tended to stick together. Dickie was non-American and I had a shitty attitude. What a pair we made! Luckily, we were usually given a wide berth by the assholes. Some of the friendlier folks Bruce talked to would come up to us. One lady seemed to really like us. Selina I think her name was. She was okay I guess. Sometimes Bruce's Justice League gang would be there. All in disguise of course. I didn't like when they brought their little juniors though. I didn't want to deal with that asshole Wally who attached himself to Dickie's hip. Roy wasn't too awful though. At least he and I could find things to talk about.

These events were for charity and the Wayne Foundation always had noble causes that they donated to. I was glad to see that Bruce helped even outside of his Batman suit. One particular night, I had managed to have an actual conversation with Selina. She was dressed to the nines but she always seemed to have something about her that was unlike the rest of the women. Something wild. Maybe it was just because she wasn't completely sane. Bruce seemed to see it too because he was always looking at her and she'd look back with that curly smile of hers. When they stared at each other like that I always felt funny, like I was seeing something I shouldn't. I left those two weirdos to stare at each other and passed by Alfred who was serving champagne to a guest. He winked as he passed and I grinned at him.

"Enjoying yourself, Master Jason?"

"Always, Alfred." I quipped over my shoulder, listening to the old man chuckle as he walked away. I continued on, passing by that one intense looking guy with the eyepatch. I decided to make myself scarce.

"It is truly astonishing." I overheard as I slunk down through the crowd. I glanced over my shoulder for the voice, straining my neck. I saw the one eyed dude staring intently to my left and I followed his stare to see Dickie bird standing by one of the guests. Dick was always small, but he was even smaller when surrounded by all these adults. He was better at playing polite than I was. They guy who had spoken was looking Dick up and down.

"What's astonishing?" Dick asked curiously and I moved a bit closer so I could listen in. This guy…Paul or whatever was some rich loser that liked to cosy up to Bruce. He only went to these events for his reputation and always seemed to zero in on Dick when he was around. He was standing with some horse faced broad. His date by the looks of it and they were both eyeing Dick with that usual uppity look.

"This is the little gypsy boy Bruce took in?" The woman asked Paul who took a sip from his glass. Dick's intense eyes moved to the woman.

"The correct vernacular is _Romani_." He coldly replied, articulate as fuck. The one eyed dude near me released a quiet and impressed chuckle but I barely even glanced at him. I was wondering if I needed to step in. I didn't like the tone but I wasn't about to make Dick look weak in front of those two fuck heads. It was pretty obvious that Paul and his horse faced date were a little tipsy. They didn't seem too impressed with Dick's response.

"I'm surprised Bruce managed to reign him in." What's his name hummed and I bristled, shoving passed the one eyed dude to stand next to Dickie-bird, glaring at the couple.

"Problem?" I snapped. Dick shot a quick glance towards me and the horse face lady blinked in surprise. But Paul or whatever hummed lightly. Bruce was busy on the other side of the room and Alfred was deep in conversation with Selina.

"Oh and here's the second of Bruce's little brood. I heard you were suspended from school for fighting. This would be what the third time?" He asked with that usual casual air that uppity bastards like him tended to use.

"Fourth actually, but I'm glad you're so curious about me." My grin was all teeth and unsettling on the best of days. The lady snorted and Paul whatever shook his head as if disappointed in me.

"It's obvious Wayne needs to lay a firmer hand." He scowled.

"Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you?" I shot back. The guy probably got off on that sort of crap.

"Let's go, Jay. We have better things to be doing." Dickie spoke up and Paul looked towards him, unhappy with the tone Dick was using.

"You better learn how to respect your betters, boy." He pointed a thick finger at Dick and I tried to move to stand in front of Dick, but Dickie was just as prideful as me.

"I see not betters here." Dick responded innocently. I glanced over my shoulder to see Bruce looking towards us in concern. He better get here quick before I decide to break this asshole's nose.

"You know how those gypsies are." Paul stage whispered to his date. "Thieves and liars…absolutely filthy. It's a shame Bruce is allowing your kind to contaminate our city." I know Bruce heard that last part because he was now striding over swiftly, his dad face on full blast. I opened my mouth to verbally smack this asshole down but Dickie beat me to it.

"How's your divorce proceeding going? I heard your wife…ex wife is now dating a much younger man." I nearly chocked on my own spit and the guy stared at Dick as if he sucked on a lemon.

" ** _Dick_**." Bruce spoke up in mortification, but I think Dickie was beyond caring. They insulted his family. No one was allowed to do that. He smiled sweetly, reaching to grab my elbow and drag me backwards. "Enjoy your evening!" Dickie called over his shoulder as we passed by the eye patched dude who was carefully watching Dickie-bird. Dickie vanished as soon as we made it outside the doors and before I could find him, I ended up face to face with Bruce who looked unimpressed.

"What happened?" He asked, voice low and I sighed.

Why me?

Later I found Dickie on the roof. It was usually where he went when he needed to disappear for awhile. I liked to take my bike and just go. When I wanted time to myself I made sure I couldn't be found. That usually took me to the church. I would spend times sitting at the pew with my head bowed, sometimes praying and sometimes just enjoying the quiet.

"You left me to explain things to Bruce! You know that never works out." I called out with a scowl, scurrying onto the roof and towards Dick. "Why'd you take off?" I asked. He was sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees and staring out towards the city. I sat down next to him, watching him closely.

"It's not that I'm ashamed of the word gypsy, it's that people like Adam thrown it around as if they own it." Dickie finally breathed.

Ah, not Paul. Adam…

"It's…it's just cruel you know? People look down on the circus performers as second class. We're nothing but entertainment to them…my family was not some act that could be disregarded. They were real people. We're both _real_ people."

"I know Goldie." I murmured softly. I reached for him in a rare show of physical affection and he leaned against me, head resting against my shoulder. We spent the night staring over the city. I'd take on anyone that talked about my new family like that. I didn't care if they were some other snotty little shit kid or even the fucking Joker. I'd protect them…I'd protect them like I couldn't with my own Ma. Really fucked up mentality, I get it…but that was how I saw it.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce didn’t force us to attend those shitty galas as much anymore. He’d have us make an initial appearance but let us rush off as soon as the niceties were over. Paul/Adam was no longer allowed to attend in general. Bruce had not been happy with that racist little remark. I hope the asshole’s reputation was in the gutter.

The next couple of months passed by without much incident. Dick became more busy with the Junior Justice League and this gave me a chance to shine as Robin. No competition meant no worries. It was just me and Batman on this night. I remember that it was raining. I followed Batman, launching myself over the crate and rounding the corner.

“Stay close, Robin.” Batman ordered and I nodded curtly. Rain water hit my cheek and I brushed at it in irritation.

“Awwww, Bats! I _heard_ you got another little bird!” A voice called out from above. Batman’s arm shot out to keep me behind him and I scowled at him. I hated when he did that. Batman didn’t even look at me, staring up towards the sky with narrowed eyes. I quickly looked up. No one managed to make Batman glare _that_ badly. 

I was greeted with madness. A chalk white face with a sharp blood red painted smile. That was the first time I had seen the Joker. It was terrifying. The man’s smile was unnatural and twisted. His eyes moved to look at me, his grin widening if it were possible.

I had seen eyes like those before. We had a lady down the street from my old place that had a dog. I think it had gotten rabies or something, but the eyes had been crazy, I swear. Just like the Joker’s. The lady had to put her crazy dog down. I guess no one had gotten the memo for the Joker. His eyes were wide and bloodshot and he grinned down at me in glee.

“C’mon kid! Say hello!” He greeted and I scowled at him, not saying anything and the freak threw his head back in laughter.

“I guess they can’t all be polite, eh Batsy?” He howled. Batman ordered me back and I did without complaint. The Joker was obviously nuts. Let Batman deal with that whacko. He waved as I stepped back, calling out to me.

“See you soon Bird-Boy! I’ll see you soon!” His voice echoed through the night and I kept moving.

I was staring my future death in the face. I just didn’t know it.

* * *

 

Bruce was having another benefit gala. Dickie and I made ourselves scarce. Alfred had already snuck me some food, offering me one of those knowing smiles of his as I dashed away. For a bit I hid out in my room, before figuring that I could find Dickie and we could listen to some music of our own. I guess he had the same idea because I had only just grabbed my ipod when he knocked on my door, grinning cheekily when he saw me. He laughed again, that Robin laugh of his that had villains running tail and even heroes kind of unsettled. Kid Flash had said that Dickie’s laugh was on par with the Joker’s for creepiness. The recordings of it were eerie. The little shit was as famous for it as Batman was with his glare. I liked Dick’s laugh though. It was both a weapon and a drug.

“Come on Jaybird,” Dick called over his shoulder as he easily slipped through the window. “It’s nice out tonight.”

“Stop calling me that.” I groused, even though I had a whole plethora of nicknames I used on him. Dick laughed again, the noise carrying across the roof. I could hear the gala continuing downstairs. I’m glad Alfred managed to convince Bruce to not force us to attend. That man was a saint. I took out my ipod and placed it between us. 

“I came to America when I was really little,” Dickie began as we settled on the roof. “We were always traveling. I had already learned French from a couple of the clowns in our group and our Fire Breather was from Russia…he liked to sit down and teach my cousin Jon and I how to speak it. I always enjoyed learning from them. Mr. Haly was American. He always tried to teach me how to speak it, but it never stuck. Then Jon got this idea to teach me through music.” Dickie laughed softly. “It was a work in progress but somehow it worked better than just sitting down and learning the old fashioned way.” He flopped down on the room gracelessly, arms spread as he stared up at the sky. It was nice not being so close to the smog and pollution from the city and far enough that we could actually appreciate the night sky.

“Music is a better teacher than any quack in a school.” I hummed in agreement. I leaned forward, turning up the volume on my ipod. The Rolling Stones began to play. It was a very different playlist then what was being droned on in the ballroom below us. Hardly the sort of music you could slow dance to… I turned to where Dickie was sitting and offered him my hand.

“Dance with me.” I asked and Dick blinked, staring up at me in surprise. I never danced at the galas. Dickie usually avoided it to, unless any of the Junior Justice losers were there. Then he’d get dragged out by either that Artemis girl or sometimes Roy and that Wally asshole. Dickie took my extended hand and I pulled him up and against my chest, one of my arms wrapping around his waist. He easily interlocked his own hands behind my neck, letting me lead without complaint.

“I thought you hated to dance.” Dickie commented with a little laugh and I shrugged.

“I do…just not when I’m with you,” I replied and Dickie blinked. I quickly realized what I just said and tried to back peddle. “I mean…that ballroom is always so crowded and everyone  there are assholes. At least you’re easier to deal with.” I quickly saved and Dickie hummed, eyes suddenly looking a little dim. We danced for a moment, keeping a reasonable distance between our chests.

‘Dancing In The Moonlight’ came on and I scowled. The song was so cheesy and too fluffy for my taste. Dick however beamed and tightened his hold, not letting me change it. 

“I love this song.” He breathed, his magical eyes glowing.

“You would.” I teased, but allowing myself to dance to this too cheesy song. My eyes widened as Dickie rested his head against my shoulder. My arms automatically tightened on his waist, wondering what the fuck was going on. 

“It’s a happy song,” Dickie whispered. “Nothing bad happens and everyone just wants to be happy and dance at night.” Wasn’t that exactly what we were doing? It wasn’t a full moon but it was still a moon and here we were slow dancing like idiots on the roof. Dickie and I had a lot of the same taste when it came to music. I ended up creating a playlist titled Goldie’s themes. ‘Dancing In The Moonlight’ was number one on that list.

“This is your song now.” I commented against his hair. I would never be able to listen to that song again without thinking about this night. I didn’t even want to. Dickie remained in my arms and I refused to let go, slowly moving with the lyrics. 

“Aww, Jaybird…you’re making me feel all mushy inside.” Dick teased, breath ghosting against my ear and I sniggered. 

“You always were a softy.” My hand moved down his spine. I hummed along with that stupid song, just because it made Dickie smile.

“Now I’m going to have to pick a song for you.” He huffed, cheek against the hollow of my throat. I gulped. 

“Highway to Hell would be appropriate.” I managed and Dickie laughed. The song slowly came to an end but neither of us moved for a long moment. It was warm on that night and there was a light wind that tickled my nose. We pulled apart and stared at each other. Even at night, his eyes pulled me in. His mask hid it so well, but outside of it there was no mistaking him for anyone. Goldie beamed at me, not one of his smirks that he usually threw around but a legitimate smile that had my knees weak like I was some teenage girl in one of those crappy love movies, but really…it fucking made sense. Dickie’s face was glowing in the night and his eyes were so pretty and his mouth so…pink?

I wanted to kiss him. I had only just turned twelve and it was stupid of me, but I wanted to kiss him more than anything in the world. I could remember the church. Homosexuality was a sin. What I wanted was not natural…I should have crushes on girls, not boys with pretty eyes and golden skin. What would Ma think of me? I could feel my rosary around my neck and for a second it felt like a noose. I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead against Dick’s.

My head said, ‘I love you,’ but what came out of my mouth was, “We should head inside.” Dickie smiled at me and nodded, stepping back.

The moment was over.

The next morning I slunk to the bathroom, too tired to process daylight. The bathroom mirror let me know that my hair was defying gravity. I stared at my reflection in a daze. My eyes were pale green like my mom’s. She always said my eyes were prettier than hers, but I never noticed it. I thought they were just like hers. I got my hair from my dad…or so Ma told me. 

“Master Jason,” Alfred lightly knocked on the bathroom door. “I have breakfast prepared for you downstairs.”

“Thanks Alfred.” I called back. I didn’t want to face Dickie-bird. I felt too exposed and I didn’t like it. But I was also Robin and Robin had no fear.

Even pretty boys.

* * *

 

 

I should have realized that things wouldn't last. Nothing good really tended to last long when I was involved. Barely six months of me fighting with Batman and Robin and it all burned away.

Dickie got hurt.

It was during one of the patrols that I wasn't part of. They had been facing off against Two-Face and had been separated. Dick went on after Two-Face alone, despite Batman's warning. There was a trap and Batman had been caught along with some other guy...a District Attorney, I think. Naturally, Two-Face made it one of his shitty games and told Dickie to choose who lived and who died. Dickie tried to save the Attorney, but Two-Face gunned him down before turning on the first Robin. There are somethings in this world that I could do with never seeing twice. One, the inside of a casket, two, a crowbar and three...Dickie lying on that cold hospital bed...Two Face beat Dickie down with a bat, taunting Batman all the while before finally turning his gun on the golden boy and shooting him right in the chest.

It should have killed him.

It nearly did and when I was finally allowed to see him in the hospital it felt like all the life had been sucked out of the world. Dickie...Goldie was like the god damned _sun_. There were no shadows with him, only colors and goodness and everything that should have had me stepping back but only made me crave more. Dickie in that hospital made it seem like all the colors had faded to grey. After he had been hurt I had run away to my church, sitting in the back pew and praying to God like it was going outta style. I hadn’t prayed for my Ma enough and now she was gone. The least I could do was pray for Goldie. Not that God would ever take him. Dickie was too young to die. Too good. I still prayed anyway, fingers gripping my rosary as if I could force it to work. God wouldn’t take Dickie away. Even if it was a sin that I loved him, He wouldn’t take it out on Dick.

 I prayed harder.

I wanted Two-Face dead. I wanted to track that fucker down and **_kill_** him. It was the first time I had really wished death on someone. It wouldn't be the last. There was barely an inch on Dick that wasn't covered in gauze. His cheek was a molten purple and his eye was swollen shut. His chest was bandaged but he was shirtless and I could see the outline of his ribs. He always was way to scrawny.

He smiled at me, it was weak and brittle but it was _him_. His golden skin was now an ashy grey. I saw that Kid Flash and the rest of the Junior Justice had been to visit. There was a stuffed bear on the countertop and flowers _everywhere_. He lifted his uninjured hand and waved.

"Hi Jaybird.” He croaked. 

"Hi Goldie." I greeted back, finally shuffling towards him."How are you feeling?" I asked, voice barely louder than the beeping of the machines hooked to Dick. Dick’s face took on a thoughtful look and I inched closer, curious to hear what was on his mind.

"I'm feeling holy, Jason...get it?” Dickie weakly waggled his eyebrows and I nearly smacked him. Sacrilege and slander. The little shit had me all worried and greeted me with one of his fucking **_puns_**. Laughter forced its way out of my mouth and I offered him a weak grin. Leave it to Dickie to find a joke in all this.

“You’re such an asshole, Grayson.” I replied and Dick laughed, his whole face seeming to light up. He’d been on his feet laughing and making up words to butcher the English language in no time. 

I took the chair next to his bed and closed it as close a humanly possible. His uninjured hand was quick to dart out and take mine. I squeezed his fingers and he smiled at me. The sun was back...everything was going to be okay. Dickie was going to be fine. I used to be a naive little shit. I shoulda’ figured what was going to happen next. Bruce had been quiet during the visits. I thought he was just brooding like he always did, but I think he was coming to a decision. He brought Dickie home over two weeks after being shot. Alfred was rushing around, wanting everything to be in order even though we both knew Dickie wasn’t going to notice if the counters were wiped or the floors cleaned. I couldn’t say much though. I was excited to see him. I had only seen him a few times in the hospital. It was good that he was finally coming home.

Bruce was the one to bring Dickie home and the manor instantly felt like it was static. Everything was on edge. Alfred reached and lightly touched my shoulder as Bruce brought Dickie through the door. Dickie beamed when he saw us. His arm was in a cast and he had a limp. He was still badly beaten up and his chest was still wrapped but other than that was slowly recovering.

Alfred and Bruce helped Dickie to his room and I trailed after them, relieved that everything was going to be okay. Two days later, that changed. Dickie followed Bruce down to the Batcave and I think something broke in him down there forever.

Two-Face had beaten him to a pulp and put a bullet in his chest, but it was Bruce who broke him.

Bruce’s idea to protect Dick was to remove him as Robin forever. It was a stupid idea. Batman was full of them I guess. I had never heard Dick get mad like that. It was…horrifying. Dick was supposed to be the Golden Boy. The one who never stayed down for long and suddenly…Bruce wanted to take it away from him? Forever? Dickie tried to persuade Bruce to change his mind, but the guy had always been stubborn. I followed them down to the cave, keeping pressed against the far wall as I listened in.

“This isn’t up for discussion.” Was the first thing I heard from Bruce and I frowned, inching closer. I think they were too busy arguing to notice me hiding, or maybe to focused on fighting to care. When I realized exactly what they were fighting about, I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

“You can’t take Robin away from me.” Robin replied softly, still hoping I think that Batman would take it back. I hoped that he would to. Taking Dickie off the field made no sense at all. It wouldn’t help him heal, it would destroy him.

“I can and I am.”

“This isn’t _fair_ , Bruce.” He continued to argue. “You have no right.” Bruce whirled around at this and Dickie took a step back. I tensed, eyes narrowing on Bruce. Bruce however fixed Dick with a cold stare.

“I have every right. You could have been killed. You disobeyed my order and it nearly cost you your life.” His face was cast in shadows. The cave had never been the best lit and he looked sinister at the moment.

“Then suspend me for a few months! You can’t fire me!” It was a logical idea, but Batman must still have that picture of Dick’s mangled bleeding body in his head. I still did. Bruce shook his head and turned back to the monitor overlooking the city.

“I already have.”  He coldly replied and I flinched, mouth dry as I stared at him in horror. Dickie shook his head, darting forward.

“ ** _No_**!” I flinched at his tone. “YOU DON’T GET TO TAKE ROBIN! ROBIN IS NOT YOURS TO GIVE AND TAKE! ROBIN IS MY MOTHER’S AND YOU CAN’T DECIDE THAT I NO LONGER GET TO BE HIM!” I winced. I had always wondered how ‘Robin’ was made. I guess Dick’s own Ma had been behind it after all. Yet he was still okay with me taking it? The warm and fuzzies in my chest were there again but i had to ignore it for now. 

Bruce never turned around from the computer screen. Dickie finally broke. He took one step back, then another.

“Bruce…” His voice was so weak, brittle. Bruce didn’t acknowledge him again. It was the final nail in the coffin. Dickie ran. I remained crouched behind the railing and Bruce never turned. I stared at his back, angry and hurt all at once. He wasn’t helping Dick. He was only pushing him away. Alfred would have smacked the shit out of him.

“Jason, head back upstairs.” Bruce spoke up without turning.  I stood, glaring at his back. ‘Course he didn’t look at me and I stormed upstairs with a scowl. 

Dickie didn’t come down for dinner that night. I didn’t really have an appetite either. Bruce was as closed off as ever and Alfred was watching us both with concern. I knew this was killing the guy. He was protective of all of us.

I didn’t want to bother Dick, figuring he would let me in when he was ready. He came to my room late at night. Both Alfred and Bruce were asleep and he snuck up on me, touching my shoulder.

“Jason.” He whispered and I rolled over with a grunt, flicking the lights on.

“Dick.” I didn’t bother with a nickname this time. I couldn’t. Dickie threw his arms around me. Normally to look cool I would have pushed him away, but that night I couldn’t. That night I pulled him closer. I pet his hair as he cried into my shoulder. I couldn’t let this happen. Dickie needed Robin just like I did. Robin was the only thing that kept our heads above water. 

Now Bruce had left Dickie to drown.

He pulled away, looking embarrassed and I wanted to stop him. His face was still healing and it looked sickly in the light. He stared into the distance for a long moment. His expression was troubled. It was a look I expected on Batman’s face. Not Dick’s. Finally the look vanished and he looked back at me with a little smile, reaching for something on his wrist. He gave me his bracelet. It was white and blue beaded with little silver charms. Like with my rosary, he usually always had it on him. It was from his home. His first home. It was obviously special to him and I tried to give it back, but he refused to take it.

“For luck.” He whispered in the dark and I couldn’t say no. Never to him. Well, two could play at that game. I slipped my rosary over Dickie’s head. I knew he wasn’t religious, but if God was able to make sure Dick didn’t die, then I wanted him protected forever. He knew I would refuse to take it back and accepted it with a little smile. Then to my shock, Dickie moved forward and pressed his lips against my cheek.

“Goodnight Jaybird.” Dickie whispered that stupid nickname against my cheek. I tried to play off the kiss, pulling back with a scowl of disgust. He still smiled at me and after dramatically wiping the kiss away I smiled back.

“G’night Goldie.” I sleepily murmured back. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Dickie only smiled a sadder smile than usual and slipped out of my room. 

He left that night, vanishing into the night with his costume and bike, leaving only a note behind. It would be the first twinge of hate I would feel for him, even if I hadn’t realized it.

That was the last time I ever saw Dick as Robin. The last time I saw him until after my death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support on the first chapter! I made a Harry Potter reference in this one! Who can find it?


	3. Chapter 3

I guess everyone has different ways with dealing with their issues. When I’m angry I like to punch my feelings out. When Alfred’s angry I’ve seen him passive aggressively snark everyone in the warpath, all while being as polite as fuck. When Bruce is angry…when Bruce is angry the silence never ends. When he found out Dickie-Dick ran away he pushed it aside. He worked harder, fought longer and it gave me an opportunity to grow. I wanted to prove myself to Bruce. I wanted to prove myself to anyone who saw me as less. I didn't care what it took. All the training in the world did not matter. I would be better, faster and stronger then any sidekick.

I was much busier with being the only Robin in Gotham. Patrols were no longer divided, but I didn’t mind them. I liked being out. I liked fighting bad guys. Sleep could wait. Everything else could wait. Bruce now had my darkening my hair. I now looked like the rest of the family I guess…it made it harder for me to be noticed on the street. With me as the only Robin in Gotham, a lot of focus would now be on me. I had a lot to live up to I guess. I wondered if Bruce was trying to turn me into someone I wasn’t. 

Dick ended up forming a team out in California. They were called the Teen Titans I guess. From what I heard there was a robot, a witch, an alien and some green kid. I guess they did well. Bruce was all silent and broody when he heard and instead of the happiness I expected to feel at hearing about Dick, I only felt a twinge of anger. People back on the normal side noticed that Dickie was gone. Adam/Paul was way too gleeful when he heard. At the next little gala I attended with Bruce, it was the gossip of the party. Maybe it was partially for my benefit. It still raked on my nerves that people had nothing better to do than gossip. 

 

_“The Circus Freak ran away.”_

 

_“Probably went running after his old little carny group.”_

 

_“Good riddance.”_

 

It was harder to pretend he didn’t exist when people wouldn’t stop talking about him. The galas were nothing but some place where rich snobs could gossip and pretend to care about people in need. I always hated galas. Have I mentioned that? _Totally not aster…._ Dickie’s stupid made up words suddenly made a lot more sense. I wondered how many more he made up while with his new team. Bruce never spoke of him and neither did I. Instead I trained. Bruce’s focus was now solely on me and I both loved and resented it. I wanted to be the best. I wanted Bruce to see _me_ as his Robin. I didn’t want to be the replacement or the second. I wanted to be the only one that mattered. I _had_ to be the only one.

It was now just me at school. My grades went up pretty well. I might have been busier as Robin but the biggest distraction in my life was now gone. I didn't fight with the other kids as much as I used to.  I think I was too busy being tired and just wanting to get through the day. I still wasn’t accepted into the Young Justice group.  None of them wanted me and I didn’t want to be around any of them. I didn’t need any of them. I worked better on my own. There were no distractions and I didn’t have to worry about where anyone else was. I could see why Batman had done it before the Robins came in.

Even though Batman was good with pretending that Dick didn’t exist, it didn’t work so well when it came to my performance as Robin. He kept comparing me to Dick. Every move I made was scrutinized to this impossible  standard that Dick had set. I never could reach it. I began to hate him. I didn't want to, but everything kept getting worse and worse. First he ran away and now I was **_still_** not good enough? I resented him for being better than me in Bruce’s eyes.

 

**_“Dick would have…”_ **

 

**_“That’s not how Dick did it…”_ **

 

**_“You need to try it this way. It worked for Dick.”_ **

 

“I’m not Dick!” I had shouted more than once and I was always afraid that Bruce would have wanted me to be him. That I wasn’t good enough as Jason. I could see it in Bruce’s eyes. He liked to pretended to be unaffected, but he was just as fucked up as I was. We made a good team, both bitter and resentful but too proud to talk about it. Like I usually did when I was too angry to deal with Batman, I would peddle to my church and hide out in my pew. My rosary was gone now so I could only clasp my hands in my lap. It felt like God was quieter than usual. I don’t know how Alfred dealt with us. He tried to offer support to both of us and I had heard him scolding Bruce for constantly comparing me to Dick. 

“He’s his own person Master Bruce. Surely you realize that.” Alfred had whispered one night after they thought i had gone to sleep. Bruce walked with his own the hall, expression closed off. 

“I do Alfred, Jason has so much potential, but so much anger. He needs that final push to find himself." Bruce replied, tone soft.

“Keep pushing and I am afraid you will push him away for good.” Alfred replied with a shake of his head. 

Dick tried calling me a bunch of times. He had changed his number and everything, really trying to prove to Bruce and himself that he could stand on his own two feet. I was sitting in my room, pretending to be doing my homework when my phone rang. I reached forward to drag it off the mantle and looked at the screen. I didn’t recognize the number so I hit ignore and went back to pretending to be doing my homework. Another fifteen minutes passed and my phone rang again. It was the same number. Looking for any excuse to ignore my homework and answered it, shoving my papers aside.

“Hello?” I asked with a frown. I had kicked off my shoes and was staring at my toes. Was it some kind of telemarketer? I hated dealing with those clowns.

 _“Jay?”_ Dick’s voice spoke in my ear and my face flushed. For a second I wanted to be excited and to greet him in excitement. It had been over a month since I heard his voice but now I couldn’t stand the sound of it.

“What do _you_ want?” I flopped onto my bed. There was a pause and I rolled my eyes. Of course he never expected me to talk to him like that.

 _“I just wanted to talk to you,”_ Dick replied. _“I’m sorry I ran off like I did.”_

“Yeah, I _bet_ you’re sorry.”

_“Jay, I only-“_

“No,” I snarled, cutting Dick off. I had never dreamed of talking to him like this, ever. “Fuck you. You don’t get to call me that. You ran away. You left me without saying **_anything_**!”

 _“I’m_ **_sorry_ ** _! I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t stand the idea of saying goodbye.”_

“No so you ran off like a coward. Alfred was so damned worried and Bruce…well I’ve never been able to compare with his golden boy wonder now have I?” I knew I sounded bitter but it felt damn good to say.

 _“You’re not me, Jay. You’re your own person. Bruce has to see that.”_ Dick’s voice was soft.

“How Hallmarky of you and don’t call me Jay.” I snapped back. I heard footsteps approaching my room and sat up just as Batman opened the door.

“Riddler’s been spotted downtown.” Bruce stated. He noticed I was on the phone. “Who is that?”

“No one important.” I reply with a vicious feeling of glee. “I’ll be right down.” Bruce nodded and turned on his heel, heading no doubt for the cave. Once he was gone I sighed. “Look, I’ve got to go.” I rugged a hand through my hair and Dick sighed. 

 _“Will you call me back later?”_ Dick asked softly and I scowled, glancing out the window. I wanted to say no and tell him how unimportant he was not, but I needed to sound like I didn’t even care.

“If I’m not busy, sure.” I picked some lint off my blanket and flicked it aside.

 _“Okay, be careful.”_ I could imagine his little Teen Titan group, comforting him over how _mean_ his brother was being. They’d be all over him, offering comfort while he shook his head in confusion. 

“Whatever.” I muttered and shoved myself off my bed.

 _“Jason, plea-“_ I hung up the phone and tossed it onto my bed, leaping from my bed to go to the cave. 

I never did call him back.

I ignored all this phone calls after that. Even the final one.

Three months later, I died. 

* * *

 

 

And by dead, I don't mean metaphorically either.  I legitimately stopped breathing, heart stopping and really actually dead. It had started off as a normal enough patrol, but the Joker hadn’t been focusing on Batman this time. I had been his target. He managed to nap me and take me off to this crappy abandoned shed away from the city. I think he wanted to send a message to Batman. I was obviously meant to be that message. It was all a game to the Joker and dragging me in made it even more fun for the guy.

I can still hear the crowbar whistling through the air.

He beat me with as much force as he could, never hitting me in the head. He wanted me conscious for this. It was boring if I passed out. He managed to actually draw blood by the fourth swing and it had coated the crowbar, looking black in the shitty lighting. I had bit the snide of my cheek and my mouth was full of blood.

“That… that all you got?” I had mocked him. I couldn’t help it. This crazy asshole thought he could just beat me and I would take it? I spit a glob of blood at his feet and he peered down at me with a grin.

“I’m just getting started Boy Blunder!” He cackled and lifted the crowbar high in the air. It hit me hard in the kidney and I groaned in agony, biting my tongue and drawing more blood. With a hiss I scooted forward. Batman could show up any minute now…the Joker launched forward and kicked me in the rib. I rolled over with a groan of pain. It hurt to breathe. Hurt to think. I could hear the Joker slowly approaching me. I tried to move, but my leg only twitched. He hit me again, blood splattering over the cement. My ears were ringing.

“Fuck you!” I snarled and the Joker actually pouted. He knelt down close, casually swinging the crowbar as he studied me with those crazy mad dog eyes.

“The other Boy Wonder was much more polite.” He waggled a gloved finger at me and I thought about trying to bite it off. Of course, even now I was being compared to him. I swung my head forward to connect with his nose but he managed to pull back with a laugh.

“Looks like the game’s over, Rob,” Joker teased, voice low. “Bird hunting season is in full swing.” As he said that he brought the crowbar down for a final time across my back. I choked, gasping for breath. It felt like my lungs had stopped working. “It’s been a blast kid.” The Joker laughed at his own stupid joke and I spit at his passing feet. He kelt down and tightened the ropes around my wrist. I grunted in pain, snarling at him. He reached down my arm and stopped at my wrist.

"Well well, what is this?" He hummed and I tensed as his gloved fingers touched the bracelet Dickie had given me. I hadn't taken it off since Dick had given it to me. It felt like an offense to have something as disgusting as the Joker polluting it.

"Don't touch that!" I struggled, probably hurting myself more in the process. The Joker pulled the bracelet away from me and lifted it in the air to examine it.

"Isn't this cute," Joker laughed as he studied it. "A friendship bracelet?" He looked back to me and I silently glared at him. He narrowed his eyes and took it between to fingers as if to break it. I tensed, gritting my teeth.

"Was this from a girlfriend or that brother of yours?" He asked. I knew he'd snap it and despite my anger at Dick, I couldn't let that happen.

"From the other Robin, for luck." I ground out and the Joker threw his head back with a laugh of glee.

"Some luck. I think I'll jus keep this. Maybe I'll personally return it to him." He slipped it into his pocket and I snarled after him to return it. He wouldn't dare go after Dick. He couldn't possibly... The Joker merely laughed at me and kept walking, dragging the crowbar with him. When I got out of this I was going to track that asshole down...the door slammed shut.  

I kept trying to scoot out of the ropes but every time I moved, I thought something was going to break. I knew at least two of my ribs were broken and I was pretty sure my femur was shattered. This was going to take me off patrol forever. That’s when I heard a ticking like a clock. I groaned, rolling over onto my side and looked around. I couldn’t see much. The lights in this shed were too dim. I scooted forward, a groan of pain escaping my lips. Something wet slid in my eye and I knew it was blood. The ticking continued and I glanced to my left.

There in the corner of the room a clock sat. For a moment I didn’t get it. Why was there a random clock in this shed? Then I noticed what it was attached to.

 

_**04:14** _

 

It was an actual bomb. Of course the Joker brought a god damned bomb. I began to struggle against the ropes, kicking back and gritting my teeth against the pain. Anytime would be great Batman… With my arms behind my back, there was no way I could untie them. 

 

 

 

_**03:27** _

 

It had made no sense I guess. The Joker always liked to make some sort od statement. Beating and leaving me alive for Batman to find was not his style. Alfred was going to have a field day with trying to clean up my uniform. Blood stains were a bitch to clean. Totally not aster. 

 

_**02:58** _

 

Bruce would come. He always came. He was going to be so peeved. I hoped he didn’t try to kick me off being Robin. I would lose my shit if he did that. 

 

_**02:07** _

 

My room was trashed. I still needed to clean it before Bruce saw it. Or Alfred. Man I was so grounded. I managed to loosen the rope around my ankles a bit.

 

_**01:43** _

 

Bruce was gonna be here any second. Bruce would get here soon. I kicked furiously, laughing as they finally loosened enough for me to kick away.

 

_**00:55** _

 

I hadn’t finished my English assignment. My grade was going to tank unless I got this assignment in. I tried to struggle to my feet but face planted onto the cement with a grunt. Leg was definitely broken.

 

_**00:31** _

 

C’mon Bruce, where are you? I dragged myself towards the door, back moving up against it to feel for the knob. I swore loudly when I realized it was locked. The windows were too high up for me to reach. Bruce, where the fuck were you?

 

_**00:18** _

 

I had to call Dickie-bird. He was going to be so worried about me. 

 

_**00:11** _

 

I had to tease him about that. Maybe finally visit him at that tower of his. 

 

_**00:07** _

 

I had to call Dickie back…I still had to tell him about my science grade and the fight that broke out at the last gala. I had to tell him about school. 

 

_**00:04** _

 

I had to apologize for ignoring all his calls and everything I said to him. I had to hear his voice again. I had to tell him about I had to tell him how I really felt. 

 

_**00:01** _

 

I had to tell him that I lo-

 

**_00:00_ **

 

My world flashed in a fire explosion of white and orange, rushing at me before I couple process it. There was a moment of burning pain and the world was white.

Bruce never came.

Then I was gone.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing I remember is the dark. Flashes of yellow and white were at the edge of my memory, but the thing I could remember most clearly was black. I tried to move and my elbow jammed into something.

“Fuck.” I hissed, my voice sounding weird in whatever I was trapped in. I pressed my hands up and could feel something plush under my fingertips. I frowned and ran my hand down the material. It was satiny smooth. The same material was under me and then I stiffened as I felt what I was wearing.

My hands moved up my chest slowly, over the tie and collar. I was in a suit. I was wearing a suit because I was dead. I was laying in a coffin. I was dead and I was buried. I thought I was going to puke. I shoved my hands forward, nails dogging into the satin. How did I get here? My mind was so fuzzy. I couldn’t make any noise. My throat was tight and I felt like I was choking. Was I dying all over again? Was this Hell? Why? It couldn’t be. I had gone to church. I had prayed…was I still going to have to go to Hell? I shoved forward again and somehow the roof creaked. I snarled and shoved again, my fists bloody by this point. I had to get out. My breath was becoming choppy and tight. I was panicking and running out of air.

I must have been really desperate to escape. It was pure adrenaline or something. No human could be able to punch their way out of a casket. Not with tons of settled dirt on top of it. I did though. I dug my way to freedom and dug myself out of my own grave. I kept slipping, the dirt crumbling beneath me, it got in my eyes, mouth and nose and I coughed weakly, filling my mouth with more dirt. I felt like I was sinking back in, that my casket was calling me back to eternal sleep. I couldn't go back. Not there. Fear kept me moving, fear had to get me out of there.

_'Don't let me die here...'_

Finally I managed to grab onto solid ground. I dug my fingers into the cold dirt, hands bleeding freely now. I barely felt any pain. I kicked forward, dragging myself out of that hole, my grave, _**Hell**_ and threw myself forward onto the ground. I landed face first, choking for air. Rolling onto my side I stared up at the sky in who knows how long. Had it been hours since I was buried. Something told me that grave wasn't quite that fresh. I blinked, dirt gathering in my eyes and I used my bloody hand to push it away.

It was snowing.

I always liked the snow…liked to catch it in my palms and watch it melt. Liked to throw snowballs at passing cars and to watch snowflakes fall and land on the long eyelashes of a boy with magical eyes-

I groaned, fingers digging into the snow covered dirt as I breathed. The air never smelled so amazing before. I lay gasping for breath, chest heaving as I stared into the night sky. Snow continued to float down, sticking to my skin before melting away. I painfully turned onto my side. It felt like I had taken a beating…I had died.  I tried to stand but my legs refused to work. Then I heard the crunching of approaching feet. Someone was slowly making their way through the snow towards me. I rolled over onto my side, eyes peering open to see a pair of really nice looking leather boots. I glanced up but couldn’t make out the person’s face. It was a woman, that was all I could tell.

“Sleep now,” The woman spoke up, voice far away. “It’s time to rest.” Her voice was sort of nice. Like my Ma on one of her good days. Was Ma here to bring me to Heaven? Was she even in Heaven? I didn’t want to upset Ma. Sleep. Sleep sounded good.

* * *

 

When I woke up again I was laying in some hospital bed. I could hear the beeping of the heart monitor. I turned my head, blinking at the overly bright lights. For a second, I thought I was back in the Batcave. That wasn’t possible though… Everything rushed back to me at once. The shed, Joker laughing as he brought the tire iron down again and again, and the ticking…something was ticking. A bomb, I remembered and it was counting down in bright red letters. It was counting down and I was stuck. I couldn't get out...

“You’re awake.” A woman’s voice spoke up and I turned my head towards the chair next to me. She was a pretty broad, dark eyed and dark haired. She was watching me with a guarded kind of expression.

“You’re the one who found me?” I asked…or tried to ask. My voice was so raspy and garbled it came out more like, “Yerunfonemehhh.” The woman blinked.

“Indeed.” The woman slowly stood, still watching me with her weird ass expression. “Jason Todd, welcome back to the land of the living.” She walked around the bed as I processed her words. So I really had died…Bruce hadn’t saved me like I had hoped he would. Bruce had failed me and I had died because of it. Why hadn't he come? Where had he been?

“Do you remember everything?” She asked and I nodded once. “Excellent. It will take sometime for you to regain your strength.”

“I…die-ed.” It wasn't a question. It was a fact and I wanted to know what changed.

“Yes, however fate has many tricks up their sleeve. Of course, you wouldn’t have been much use just digging yourself out of your grave. I brought you here to heal you using my father’s Lazarus Pit.”

“Fa-fath…er?” In all honesty I had no clue what pit she was talking about. I was still trying to understand why the hell I was alive. The woman smiled at me and it wasn’t a sweet smile. More like she knew something I didn’t. 

“Ah yes how rude of me. Introductions are in order. I am Talia al Ghul, daughter of Ra’s al Ghul.” The name sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. My fingers dug into the blanket covering me and I swallowed.

“How…lo…ng….long.” I forced out and the woman…Talia reached to smooth out the blanket I was laying under, sort of like a mother would for her son but without any warmth in it.

“Over a year has passed. I believe you’re thirteen years old now.” Talia hummed and I stared. 

A year. 

I had been gone for a whole year? She let me process this information as she went over my vitals. I didn’t even pay much attention to her. I was gone for a year and somehow I was alive again and not a pile of bones. Did this pit have some magic powers included? Talia continued to watch me. There was that weird spark in her eye that I couldn't read. Women were always difficult to understand.

“You are gaining your strength back, Jason. It is much to process in one day.” Talia leaned forward and pressed her lips to my forehead in some kind of kiss. It wasn’t affectionate though. I know affection and I knock mocking. Talia had plans for me. Yet I couldn’t care less. I didn't want to talk or learn about her damn schemes. I just wanted to sleep.

The first time I saw my reflection I barely recognized myself. It was me no doubt, but it felt _off_ somehow. My hair was red again, but there was now a section of pure white in the front. Talia told me it was part of being put into the Pit. My face was sharper, making me look older than thirteen. I looked like I had seen Hell and came back to talk about it, and I think I had.

I stayed with the League of Assassins for the next several months, training under Talia. The pits brought back my strength, but she taught me how to hone it. I became a weapon under Talia’s careful tutelage. My rage feeding my fire. The Lazarus Pits had done more than revive me. It peaked my physical strength and made things clearer. I saw Gotham for what it was. I saw Batman as flawed and not the unbeatable Dark Knight I had worshipped. I could only hope that he took down the Joker before that animal killed someone else.

_"Some luck. I think I'll just keep this. Maybe I'll personally return it to him."_

No amount of hair dye would get rid of that white streak, but I was quick to cover the red. I didn’t want any part of me to associate with that life. Not when I was still so raw about it. I trained continually, not allowing myself a moment of relaxation. Relaxation gave me time to think and there were things I couldn’t risk letting my mind wander to.

I was still a kid in many ways, but my mind felt like it had aged ten years. I was going to wear myself too thin and snap under the training. I could feel it every time I walked onto the training mat. Finally, Talia admitted it too and told me that I would take the next few months off to use my skills out in the world. She was the same way, I think. She got bored staying in one place too long. 

“Allow yourself to flourish, make a name for yourself and when the time is right I will call you back to finish the rest of your training.” Talia stood on the mat, hands clasped behind her back as she watched me. “You have done well these past months. It’s time you had some freedom.” She turned on her heel and I followed her out of the training room. I packed my belonging, which weren’t much. I had nothing from my former life anyone.

“Where will you go to?” Talia asked as she leaned against the chair, twirling the knife through her slender fingers. I watched her for a moment as she waited for my answer. I hadn’t really had a plan for where to go, but now an idea was forming in my head. I wouldn’t go back to Gotham. But there were other cities with valuables and adventure that were far enough away from Batman for my sake. I glanced over my shoulder to glance at Talia who was now watching me curiously. I grinned.

“Jump City.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the comments and kudos! I'm glad that people are actually interested in this! Poor Jason has a long way to go!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Dick's POV! Some heavy material in this chapter kids!
> 
> Warning(s): Mentions of character death and violence.

I didn't make up words anymore. The joking stopped too. I couldn't risk it; not with the Titans. I couldn't risk them being hurt because of how I usually was. I needed to show Bruce that I could lead. That I wasn't too naive or too laid back. I had to become someone I wasn't. I was just as focused and obsessive as I had been with Young Justice, but there was now a darkness. I barely recognized myself on bad days and even on good days I always felt exhausted. I tried not to think of Gotham or anyone i left behind. I missed them. I missed seeing Wally...thinking about him still made it hard. I had thought running away would give me time to get over my feelings for him, but it hadn't done anything. I never heard from Roy or Connor anymore. Artemis and I lost touch and for a bit I had managed to hang onto M'gann and Kaldur, but just like with everything else they too were gone.

I came to Jump City to get away from Bruce's shadow. I had been angry and lost from my last conversation with Batman, still feeling betrayed. I figured that I would make myself a place in Jump City and slowly I would come out of this funk I was in. I didn't expect to meet the others. I didn't expect to have a team and lead them, but as the situation played out, I ended up doing just that. Somehow, the Teen Titans had formed and I found myself a new family. As if they could help with losing my own. I found an older brother in Cyborg, a new Kaldur or Roy, who managed to keep me focused as well as on my toes. Starfire was my Jump City Barbara. For a while I had thought I was in love with her, but in the end it was just a friendship with deeper meaning than simple attraction. Raven was the sister I never had. She was an anchor and despite how different our personalties truly were, I felt like she knew me better than anyone else on the team. Beastboy was like a little brother, immature and rambunctious, it was like it had been with Kaldur and me, reversed. They were all my family now and I had to protect them. Protect them like I hadn't protected Jason.

Bruce…

Bruce never told me.

Jason and I had ended so terribly. He never answered my calls and I had been so stubborn to reach out to him, calling him despite knowing he would never answer. I had to try. I couldn't just pretend that everything was fine. Bruce angry was one thing...Jason's anger meant so much more.

I found out about Jason's death two months after the funeral when the Joker sent me a 'care package'. I had been suspicious about the package, more so when I learned it was from the Joker. Cyborg had gone as far as to place it behind glass and mechanically open the lid while the five of us watched in trepidation. When nothing exploded, we moved closer to the box.

"You think it's timed to blow?" Beasyboy asked nervously, hiding behind Starfire who was looking more curious than scared. I didn't answer, heart pounding in my chest. The fact that the Joker had sent me something was reason enough to be paranoid, but it wasn't his style to send something deadly unless he could witness it himself. I peered into the box. There was a dead robin and a crowbar sitting at the bottom.

"Oh!" Starfire cried out in dismay. "Poor bird." She took the bird from the box, despite Raven's advice to not touch it. Beastboy made a face, backing away from the box.

"You think it's a threat?" Cyborg asked, looking towards me in that intense way he does when worried.

"I'm not sure," I turned to Starfire. "It's dead, Star. Don't touch it." I turned just in time to see Beastboy waving his arms frantically.

"Dude, turn on the television! It's on every channel!" Cyborg and I shared a long glance before the older teenager moved to turn on the screen. I should have expected it to be the Joker. First his weird…and gross gift, now for the main event. The Joker stood, hands clasped behind his back and waved at the camera.

_"Bird-boy! I knew you would eventually tune in! You're looking a litter taller from last time I saw you!"_

"Joker." I greeted pleasantly. I had easily fallen back into my role as the laid back Robin in Gotham. "You're a long way from Gotham." I could feel my team watching me, but I was too focused on the Joker, what was he up to? He grinned at me, eyes sparkling.

_"Always so friendly Boy-Wonder! I knew I liked you. But no, I'm actually just broadcasting to your little city. You know me, not one to wander out of his comfort zone. I was very offended when you flew off."_

"You know Robins Joker, we can't stay in one place for very long." I hummed with a little shrug. The Joker just laughed again, nodding in agreement. If I kept him babbling long enough, Bruce would be able to track him down.

 _"I hope you got my little gift!"_ Joker sneered and Starfire eeped, quickly placing the bird back in the box.

"I did," I conceded. "A dead robin and a crowbar?" I didn't get it, but the Joker seemed to find it hilarious for a moment. i continued to watch him in silence.

 _"Ahh,"_ _The Joker sighed in mock sadness. "I see. I hope you don't mind that I took over all of your little city's televisions. You know I love an audience."_

"Ah yes, and I'm sure they will be riveted to watch when Batman foils whatever creepy plan you have this week."

 _"Such little faith in me! I'm hurt! I'm simply allowing the little villains you fight to see what **true** power is."_ The Joker made a show of being offended and I tensed. The Joker and his shows were never good.

"Of course." Raven deadpanned, but the Joker waved her off. In the corner of the screen I could see us. The Joker wanted an audience, and he wanted that audience entertained. Whatever he was planning, he wanted us broadcasted for all to see. The screen the Joker had been occupied changed, going from staticky grain to a clear picture of some run down building. I could still see us in the corner, Cyborg was already trying to track the signal. I watched movement from within the building on the screen and could see the Joker striding across the room holding something long in thin in his hands with someone lying crumpled at his feet…Jason. The Joker had captured Jason!

I made no noise, hands curling into fists. I didn't dare look away from the screen. Starfire frowned in confusion, looking at Beastboy who shrugged, just as lost. For a moment we couldn't hear what was being said, but I flinched when I watched the Joker strike out at Jason with the object. Jason gasped, falling forward. The Joker wasted no time in hitting him again.

"Are you tracking this?" I asked Cyborg who nodded.

 _"Ahh, ah, little bird."_ The Joker's voice sounded from the screen. _"Not a word or your brother gets it harder, and don't you dare look away."_ I watched in silent rage as the Joker hit my brother again, once over the shoulder and then across the back.

 _"That… that all you got?"_ Jason's voice was weak, and his grin sharp but he managed to spit at the Joker's feet. Of course he would antagonize him...

 _"I'm just getting started Boy Blunder!"_ The Joker howled like an animal and brought down the crowbar, striking Jason across the back. Jason cried out and I flinched at the sound.

"Fuck you!" He snarled and the Joker knelt down close to look at him. People were watching this. People were watching Jason be tortured. Was this the Joker's way of getting under Bruce's skin, or just to fuck with me? Why torture Jason? What else would he gain from it?

 _"The other Boy Wonder was much more polite."_ The Joker sounded stern and I winced at the mention. Jason and I still had so many fences to mend, and now he was in danger. I could hear Cyborg cursing as he tried to find where the video was coming from. Raven moved to stand closer to me, her normally stoic expression concerned.

 _"Looks like the game's over, Rob,"_ Joker teased, voice low. _"Bird hunting season is in full swing."_ As he said that, he brought the crowbar down, hitting Jason hard. I looked to Cyborg in desperation but the older teen shook his head helplessly. I needed to get ahold of Bruce, but I couldn't risk the Joker killing Jason.

 _"It's been a blast kid."_ The Joker suddenly laughed. He kelt down and tightened the ropes around Jason's wrists. Jason struggled, snapping at him in blind anger. The Joker barely seemed to notice. _"Well well, what is this?"_ The Joker commented and Jason tensed, face screwed up in anger.

 _"Don't touch that!"_ He snarled viciously. The Joker pulled something away from Jason's wrist.

 _"Isn't this cute,"_ Joker laughed as he studied it, _"A friendship bracelet?"_ All at once my mouth went dry. He had the bracelet I had given Jason the night I left Gotham. The bracelet that had been given to my mamă by one of the mystics from another circus when she had performed in Latvia. They had been friends and the mystic had told her the bracelet was lucky. Mamă had kept that bracelet as a token and it had passed onto me.

 _"Was this from a girlfriend or that brother of yours?"_ The Joker asked and Jason glared at him.

 _"From the other Robin, for luck."_ Jason's voice was weak from pain and my chest hurt. Bruce had to show up soon. The team was now staring at me, obviously waiting for my reaction. I gave none. The Joker threw his head back with a laugh of glee.

 _"Some luck. I think I'll just keep this. Maybe I'll personally return it to him."_ He teased, putting the bracelet that belonged to my mother in his pocket.

 _"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"_ Jason's scream was much stronger, his anger seeming to give him strength. Starfire actually flinched at the tone. _"GIVE THAT BACK! IF YOU TOUCH HIM I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT!"_ He screamed after the Joker who left the building still laughing. Jason groaned. With the Joker gone I was quick to reach for my communicator, reaching out to Batman for the first time in months. The signal was jammed and I swore. Cyborg was using the computer system to try to reach the Batcave. I knew we still had a potential audience and was putting a lot at risk to reach out to my former mentor.

I didn't care.

I heard the ticking and watched in trepidation as Jason swore under his breath. It was a bomb, Joker had set up a bomb. I hoped Batman was watching this, or that he knew where Jason was he could stop this. Everyone was watching the screen in horror, but I started moving, grabbing the telephone off the mantle.

 

**03:58**

 

I could faintly read the countdown in the corner of the video. If I could link it to Bruce, he would find him. I dialed Bruce's number, shaking as I waited. There was no answer. I tried dialing again.

"I have the location!" Cyborg called in glee. I raced to stand near him, not taking my eyes off of Jason who was trying to escape.

 

**03:11**

 

"I'll send them to Batman once he picks up." No answer. Again. Cursing, I then dialed the manor. Raven slowly looked from me to the screen, her expression suddenly paling more than usual. No one answered, I went over what day it was. Where was Alfred at this time?

 

**02:30**

 

I didn't notice as Cyborg suddenly stiffened, staring hard at the screen. He looked to Raven and motioned her over. Raven swiftly strode to where Cyborg, looking at the screen. Jason was loosening the ropes, fighting despite the obvious pain.

"Robin," Raven spoke up, but I barely heard her. Starfire and Beastboy shared confused glances.

 

**01:46**

 

 _"Robin?"_ Batman's voice finally came in and I nearly screamed. Jason was getting out of the ropes! He was doing so good!

"Batman!" I cried out suddenly, sounding like a little kid. I didn't care. I didn't care who was watching. It could be Slade sitting in his lair and I didn't even flinch. This was beyond my reputation here. "Batman, the Joker! He has…he has Robin. Cyborg has the coordinates! The place is rigged to blow!"

 

**00:48**

 

Batman was silent so I assumed he was setting up for receiving the information. I was shaking violently, barely able to keep my voice from fluctuation into Romanian. "Send him the coordinates." I said without turning to Cyborg who was oddly silent.

"Rob…"

"Please!" My throat was dry. I held the communicator against my ear. "Joker sent me a video feed! He has him in a warehouse. You don't have much time!"

 

**00:29**

 

 _"Robin…"_ Batman breathed slowly, sounding off. _"That won't do me any good."_ He sounded far away and I was so offended at him in that moment. It would do him a world of good.

"B-Batman, you have to hurry!" Jason was on his feet and struggling with the door. "Cyborg!" I cried out. "Salvează-l-" I slipped into Romanian in my nervousness. If Slade was watching…or anyone for that matter…

 

**00:17**

 

"Robin…" I heard Starfire's warbling voice behind me. Why were they calling me now? I had to get Jason out of there. There wasn't time for distractions! Jason was so close to freedom. The door was locked...the door...

 _"Robin, it's already passed."_ Bruce spoke up. Batman's voice was clinical but with an edge of worry.

 

**00:10**

 

"What?" I stared at the screen. Jason was sliding down the door, looking calm. He reached up and smoothed out his mask and uniform, wanting to look his best for what was to come.

"Rob...the warehouse isn't there anymore." Cyborg murmured. I didn't understand.

 

**00:03**

 

_"The explosion happened months ago."_

 

**00:02**

 

"No-" I reached into the box and took the crowbar. It was blackened.

**00:01**

 

_"He's dead, Robin."_

 

**00:00**

 

"NO!" My scream was high pitched and wild. It didn't matter. The explosion was hollow in my own ears as I stared at the screen, watching the moment Jason died. For a moment I saw him crouched under the window, staring resolutely at the bomb, then an explosion of white overtook the screen. I dropped the communicator, deaf to Bruce calling out to me. There was a ringing in my ears despite how silent the tower had become. Starfire's mouth was hidden behind her hands as she stared at me. Cyborg was slumped in the seat. It was Beastboy who managed to lunge forward and steady me when I wavered on my feet. The screen changed from a smoking ruin to a closeup of the Joker's face.

 _"How long did he keep you in the dark little bird? The big bat kept this big of a secret from you? That's mighty rude of him, and to think, the boy was so fond of you…"_ The Joker tsked. I was shaking so hard I was sure Raven could feel it from where she stood. The Joker sighed as though disappointed. He looked back into the lens, smiling once more. _"And **that** , villains of Jump City is how you take down a Robin."_

With those final words, I sank to my knees, Beastboy and Starfire kneeling down with me. The Joker saluted and switched off the screen, turning our screen and every other channel to black.

* * *

The video had turned off and my forehead pressed against the floor. Starfire rubbed soothing circles on my shoulders as Beastboy kept a firm grip on me. Raven moved to stand near us, watching in concern. It was still burned into my mind. That countdown and Jason's face as his world exploded around him.

"All feeds are down." Cyborg murmured. "We're no longer being watched."

"Friend Robin..." Starfire's voice was so sad, so lost that I felt the need to comfort her, but I couldn't move. I couldn't think. Jason was dead. Had been for months. I hadn't known... Nausea rose up and I began to dry heave. Batman had been to late to reach Jason. Jason had died in pain and afraid. Jason had been _alone_. Starfire continued to rub my back, voice soothing. I could hear footsteps approach.

"C'mon Rob, up you get." Cyborg's voice was comforting in my ear as he helped me to my feet. I was trembling so badly I thought I would do down again. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore and they slid down my cheeks without shame.

"I-I...he..." I couldn't get the words out. Cyborg suddenly lifted me up off the ground, carrying me in his arms like I was a little kid. I didn't argue.

I confronted Bruce three days later. Cyborg went with me, seeming to understand that I needed some anchor to get to Gotham in one piece. He dropped me off a few blocks from Wayne manor and we agreed to meet up afterwards. Batman had been waiting for me, the Batcave which once was like another home to me felt so small and dark. I had barely made it through the entrance when our eyes met. I had promised myself I would be strong. That I wouldn't scream or cry or make myself appear weak in Bruce's eyes. I managed to not scream. I think all my screaming was run out when I watched the warehouse go up in flames. I met his stare head on. He was not in his Batman costume and he looked like he had aged ten years since I've seen him. He saw seated by his computer, waiting for me to speak first. Waiting for me to fly at him in a rage.

"Why?" Was all I could manage and Bruce closed his eyes. He could handle my anger and temper. He was used to it, but my sadness was something he never could face as easily.

"I didn't want to hurt you." The excuse was weak. I laughed then, high and brittle and just a bit wild.

"Well, you've failed on that account Bruce."

"You and Jason were so close." Bruce murmured, slowly standing. "I knew that if you found out about his death it would ruin you." He was right in one account. I felt wrecked in a way I hadn't felt in years. Not since I watched lines snap and my mother's face as she realized she was falling. Not since I slid down that pole and threw myself into the mass of twisted corpses that was once my entire family.

"So what...you were planning on just never telling me? Make up excuses to why I never saw him again?" I asked, voice steadier than I actually felt.

"I planned on bringing you home and sitting you down-"

"It's been two months Bruce!" I suddenly yelled, voice echoing off the walls. "You've had two months to tell me!"

I thought of Slade, of how he offered me the chance to learn from him. What if I had accepted? Could I have helped Jason? Would Slade have helped me? Where was I two months ago? I was lying to my team...I was wearing the Red X mask and trying to sneak one over on Slade...another reason to regret that damned choice and that uniform. I had become so obsessed, I hadn't even called after Jason.

"I know, I'm sorr-" Bruce began and I cut him off again.

"Did it give you some sort of sick pleasure to keep me in the dark? Am I so utterly repugnant that the very thought of letting me know was unacceptable? Is your pride that important to you? Jason...Jason was alone..."

"Dick..." All the fight left me. I couldn't scream my way out of this. I couldn't fight it.

"His _funeral_...I didn't even get to say goodbye." My voice wavered and Bruce suddenly moved towards me. I stumbled away, suddenly falling over my own feet and falling to the ground. I didn't try to get up and Bruce slowly knelt down across from me, face as pained as my own was.

"I know Dick, and I'm so sorry. I thought...I thought I was protecting you. I couldn't stand the idea of you wanting to go after the Joker. I couldn't lose you too." Bruce reached for me, thumb brushing over my cheek.

"There were villains in Jump City...they watched him die. They made a spectacle of him..." The Joker had made Jason's death into entertainment. They had made Jason into a joke. Bruce didn't look at me, staring away with his jaw clenched.

"I never wanted you to find out this way..." Bruce's voice wavered. "I should have known...I should have been there...for both of you."

English has so many descriptive words. It seems there is a term for nearly anything you could think of. Yet, I still couldn't find the words to describe my relationship and feelings towards Jason. He was my brother, friend, partner…none of those covered Jason for me. There was nothing in the English language or even in the Romanian that I could think of to describe Jason correctly. I tried to make up a word. A word for beloved…bebrothered? Nothing stuck and I couldn't even be bothered to think on it. I loved him. I loved him and now he was gone. I felt weak, like all the strength had left my body. I looked at Bruce, tears freely falling now, voice soft and uncertain.

"Era persoana mea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am almost done with the next chapter! how do you guys like the Teen Titans? They're good eggs! I figured the Joker would be sick enough to mess with the first Robin and as a villain who enjoys shock value, it would make sense that he would want as many people as possible to witness the destruction of one Robin and the torment of another. Plus, it would be his way of sticking it to the villains of Jump City that there is a line he gladly crosses while they will merely toe it. (Looking at you Slade). I can't imagine what Slade Wilson will think of the whole debacle. Any thoughts?
> 
> I also imagine it would shake the image Dick had made for himself in Jump City. He could pretend to be as aloof and focused as Batman, but in reality he was not. The villains got a peak of that in the banter and in Jason's final moments and death.
> 
> Romanian Translations:
> 
> -"Save him!"
> 
> -"He was my person."


	6. Chapter 6

_Why was it that most of their most memorable bonding moments was either during a gala or while fighting crime? Jason shot Dick a mischievous grin. For a moment you could take them as brothers by matching shit eating grins alone. The two boys snuck down the building, scaling the walls with ease. Jason was silent as he landed, rolling down towards their target as Dick nimbly followed, feet barely seeming to make contact with any surface._

_"Where is he?" Dick asked as they settled on the window overlooking the terrace below. Jason peered into the crowd, eyes narrowing as he looked over the faces. He could see Bruce mingling towards the corner, his usual charming smile on his face. A blonde woman was hooked on his arm this evening and she was smiling at Bruce in delight. Gross. Finally Jason pointed his finger towards the man in question._

_The man, Scott Duval was the target of the night. He was a wealthy man with high ambitions for building businesses. He had bought out several apartments in Gotham, including one that Jason and his mother had once lived at. Catherine Todd had been working as a waitress at the time and with no boyfriend or husband to help support her, it was all on her. Jason had only been five at the time, but he could clearly remember her. It was before the decent into drugs and depression. It was back when his mom was a hardworking tough as nails lady that Jason had worshipped. Scott Duval changed all that. He bought out the apartment complex with no notice. There was no chance to try to bargain and Duval made no attempt to reach out to those he evicted._

_Catherine had tried to talk to her landlady, but it was out of her hands. Then as fate would have it, Duval had been in the building one afternoon, going over preparations for tearing the complex down once everyone was out. Jason's mother had approached, shoulders squared and back straight as she approached Duval. The man had laughed in her face._

_"Scurry on out of here, sweetheart." He had dismissed her with a flick of his wrist, already bored with her. This forced Jason and his mother onto the streets. With no home for her son, Catherine soon lost her own job due to inability to find care for Jason. It spiraled from there._

_Now, here was Scott Duval years later looking as if he was king of the hill. When Jason had heard he was attending, it was a good chance for some revenge. He had never forgotten Duval's name. Duval would now remember him. He would remember Catherine Todd. Beside him, Dick grinned._

_"Let's show him a bit of hospitality." He offered and Jason laughed in the crisp night air._

_"What do you have in mind, Dickie-bird?" Jason questioned and Dick offered him a mysterious smile, reaching into his backpack while humming a little tune. Jason watched him in trepidation as the older boy pulled a small bottle from the bag and held it out to Jason. Jason took it, his fingers brushing over Dick's as he took the bottle into his hand and stared at it._

_"What is it?"_

_"Just a little thing to get things moving." Dick replied, still smiling. Jason stared and Dick sighed. "It's a laxative. It'll make Mr. Duval very uncomfortable." Jason's responding laughter was lost in the wind. He watched in utter glee as Dick began measuring out a very small amount of the clear liquid._

_"Add a bit more." The taller boy instructed and Dick shot him an amused look._

_"Jay-bird, we can't have the man shitting himself." He chided with that little grin of his._

_"Why not?" Jason shot back. It would be hilarious. Dick sighed wearily._

_"Do you want Alfred to have to clean that mess?" Dick asked and Jason winced at the thought. "We give him just enough to make him uncomfortable. Maybe he'll fart, he'll definitely make some sort of sideshow of himself, without the mess. Plus it can't get traced back to us if he just farts." Dick handed Jason the measurement._

_"So we sneak this into his drink?"_

_"Yes, I will keep him and his cohorts distracted so you can sneak down the terrace. We will wait until Bruce and Alfred are out of eyeshot. Bruce has been spending all night with that lady and Alfred will need to restock on shrimp. Once they're gone we will take our positions and you can slip the laxative into Duval's drink. Give it about ten minutes and watch as he begins to feel the effects." Damn, Dick had this all planned out._

_"You're a genius Dickie-bird."_

_"I know."_

_"You're also so modest. I can't even describe it." Jason sarcastically shot at the smaller boy, who placed a hand over his heart._

_"Jason, you're words are too much. I am officially whelmed." Jason lightly shoved him, mumbling about butchering the English language. The two silently slid down the terrace, Jason going under the stone hedge and Dick righting his hair and with a confident and a bit angelic little smile, stepped out into the crowd. He quickly caught the attention of several people. Love him or hate him, Dick Grayson knew how to draw a crowd. He started from one end of the patio, flitting around as if in a performance, smiling sweetly at all that dared to look. Bruce was caught up in whoever he was speaking to and Alfred was busy with the shrimp._

_Jason was on a mission, slyly scooting around the crowd until Duval was within his line of sight. Duval was holding his drink, watching as Dick spoke brightly with a woman in front of him. Jason crept forward, leering up at the man. He hoped he shit himself and stained his clothes, made an embarrassment of himself. He glanced towards Dick and stilled, distracted by the smile the Romani boy was offering the woman he was talking to. His hair was a bit wind swept and his mismatched eyes were sparkling with glee._

_He looked very becoming in the slacks he was wearing and Jason wondered when they would becoming **off** of him…oh that was a good one. He had to tell Dickie-actually better keep that joke to himself._

_**'Pull yourself together Todd, this is no time to stare at Dickie.'** _

_The boy shook his head and moved forward, silently slipping the little bottle towards Duval's forgotten drink. He poured the contents into the glass, grinning. He could hear the woman Dickie was talking to laugh at whatever he told her and as soon as the liquid was in Duval's glass, Jason flipped back off the patio and out of sight. Soon, he heard Dick's cackling laugh echoing through the air._

_The two boys had the best seats in the house as the sat on the room and watched as within half an hour of being given the laxative, Duval went lumbering through the front door and making a very ungraceful beeline for his car. Jason snickered behind his hand, vindicated to the max as he watched Duval struggle for his keys. Dick sat at his side, offering Jason a smile as the boy continued to cackle. A bonding moment for the ages. There were witnesses too. People leaving the party watched as Duval failed to get into his car in time. It went off without a hitch and to add to the treat, it was one of the few times that Dick and Jason were not caught by anyone.  
_

_"Scurry on out of here, sweetheart."Jason muttered as he watched the humiliation unfold. He hoped that with Duval shitting himself, his mother would be at least partially vindicated.  
_

* * *

**_Jason's POV_ **

I left for Jump City the day after announcing it. Talia was there to see me off, smiling that weird smiles of hers. I could easily vanish into a crowd. I was a dead boy. I no longer existed and I was going to use that to my full advantage. I would become something new. I wasn't Robin anymore. I had to find a new identity for myself. I didn't expect to find that identity the way I did, but I guess history really has a way of repeating itself.

I had stolen the suit I wore shortly after coming to Jump City. I found the Titan's Tower with ease. Batman would have a stroke if he knew that Dick had placed their home right in view for any villain to attack, but I think Dick might have done it just as a middle finger to the old man. I didn't know why I broke into the tower. It wasn't like I knew the suit would be there. I think I just wanted to fuck with Dick a bit. Still, I managed to bypass the security that Cyborg had set up and sneak in through a window. The place was pretty high tech for a bunch of teenagers, it looked like Cyborg had used a lot of his connections for the sound system and all that. It was a teenage paradise.

Curiosity got the best of me and I snooped around. I managed to peek into two of the rooms that the Titans slept in. One belonging to the alien girl I had heard about. She was sleeping awkwardly and would probably end up with a crink in her neck. I found the little green dude's room next. Honestly, Alfred had called me messy? I could barely make out the kid's shape as he lay snoring on his bed. Okay, time to move on.

I found Dick's room and hesitated before opening the door. You'd think I'd be over my nervousness around him, but I wasn't. He still made my heart race and I hated it. I couldn't let him distract me. No anymore. I had to get over my feelings for him, even if they were mixed with something darker that I wondered if it came with the Pit or inside me. I hated Dick for a time. Truly and utterly loathed him. He had abandoned me just as Bruce had done.

He wasn't even in his room when I finally got my shit together to sneak in. I guess he was out on patrol or something, it gave me the chance to snoop around. It wasn't complete chaos, but Dick had never been orderly back in Gotham either. Organized chaos was more like it. The walls were covered in news articles, most about different leads and enemies. They scaled up to the ceiling, markers to connect different odds and ends. One guy in particular seemed to have caught his attention.

Slade.

Something about this guy had Dick…obsessed? I carefully walked around the room. There was clippings everywhere. Some were even from Gotham. Mentions of Two Face and Poison Ivy duking it out with Batman. I didn't see anything on the Joker and nothing on me or my death.

Figures.

I continued to look around and found his bed tucked into the corner of the room. The bed was made and looked like it hadn't been slept in recently. There was a box settled near the foot of the bed and being the nosy shit that I am, I opened it to take a peek inside. It was a black kevlar uniform. It look well made with a red x slashed on it. I ran my fingers down the material, impressed if this was Dick's work. He had probably planned on getting rid of it. The boy had storage written in the corner but he had never gotten around to it.

I guess you could say it was fate for me to find the uniform. Like with Robin, I was meant to take the mantle of Red X after Dick. Coming to Jump City and stealing his old costume was symbolic. I could rob from right under his nose. I could be a constant thorn in his side. I wanted to push his buttons, get him on edge and maybe...make him hurt like I had. I felt abandoned by him still. I wonder if he cried at my funeral. I never asked Talia about the details following my death. I didn't know if the Joker was alive or dead, I didn't know how Bruce had reacted when he eventually found my body. I had all these questions, but there are somethings better left unanswered; for now, anyway.

The first time I saw Dick since that night in my room nearly took my breath away. I had gone searching for Xenothium when Dick confronted me. It ended up with Professor Chang nearly killing Dick and I couldn't let that happen. So, I sided with him and his little team for that one fight. I was pissed at Dick, but what if anyone was going to harm him it was going to be me. I had hoped that seeing him wouldn't mean anything. I had thought I was over my attraction to him, but I was wrong. Even then he had my heart racing anf blood pumping.

"Who are you?"

"If I wanted you to know that would I be wearing a mask?"

How would Dick react if he found out it was his dead brother under his stolen mask? Would it break his poor little heart? I was a villain now. I was exactly what he despised and I enjoyed it.

If I had to guess, late nights and patrols could be the most mind numbing chore in the world, particularly late night rainy patrols. I never really liked them in Gotham and that was with all the action that was just waiting to happen. Jump City was like the kiddy version of Gotham that was thrown at you to hide the decay of deception. Jump City however, was far enough from Gotham that I could make a name for myself without the Bat breathing down my neck. Not to mention the golden boy had claimed this city even before my death and I was never one to go without goading my 'brother'. I could have just taken the uniform and bolted, but where's the fun in that?

The city was quiet for the most part and I was grateful that nothing had jumped out at me yet. I wasn't interested in turf wars with Rancid. Slade had fallen off the radar again and the H.I.V.E seemed to be at a standstill; it was boring but predictable. I could make a quick buck and not have to worry about another thief trying to steal my thunder. Of course, when I wasn't dealing with pissing contests I was running into the Titans. We had squabbled enough that I knew their routine. The pretty alien girl had no interest in me beyond the moment of when we fought, the green kid was curious to who I was. He didn't seem the type to enjoy being kept in the dark. The witch…Raven? She didn't seem concerned with me at all. I was just another bad guy on her street. The Cyborg guy just looked suspicious. He was curious about me, but not so much so that he gave it much thought unless prompted. Those four were easy; my brother, not so much.

He seemed to look right through me, as if searching for all my secrets. He seemed to understand that there was something more to me than just some mysterious teenager who stole his uniform. It never got old to rile Dick up, but there was still something about it that left me...unsatisfied. This wasn't the creepy laughing, word inventing little shit from back in Gotham. There was something so cold about him now. As if the other Robin had only lived while I had. It was another failure on Batman's part. I was dead and Dick was turned into his little carbon copy.

Naturally, my heists were never really that good unless I had a certain little bird chasing me down. I won't deny it, I enjoyed the hunt. Him or me, it didn't matter. I liked riling him up and leaving him sputtering in my wake. I liked having him chase me.

Like now…

"Hey kid," I greeted. "Long time no see." It was late at night and our game was continued. Dick had chased me across rooftops, never quite reaching me, but never letting me out of his sight. I finally came to a stop after leaping down in an alleyway. We stood in the rain for a long while, staring at each other. Dick quietly caught his breath.

"Red." He greeted, half mocking and half serious. It was the mocking I wanted. The light teasing in his voice. His laughter no longer followed any bad guy he chased and it was as if the light had been sucked out of him. Yet, despite that. I still never wanted this game of ours to end. It had been a game of cat in mouse between us for months. I had joined the Brotherhood of Evil, I had returned that mystery case to him despite my own clawing curiosity. I had become his biggest pain and reluctant ally, and he had no idea what to think.

We had been playing this game for a year now. I had a year of playing this game with him with no interference. I knew my time here would be up soon. Talia would want me back to continue with my training. I had to get all I could out of these new few months. I had to make it count. Slade was not causing as much trouble as normal and the Brotherhood had failed. While they licked their wounds, I took incentive. So I robbed more. I caused more mayhem and I had Dickie's undivided attention.

His team wasn't with him tonight which was how I preferred it…for obvious reasons. There was alight drizzle and it had sent Grayson's ridiculous hair into a more familiar disarray. I don't know what it was about tonight, but I wanted to push things a little further than normal. I stepped closer towards Grayson, who did not move back, anticipating my next move. I pulled my mask up to over my lips so I could fix Robin with a lopsided smirk. Grayson's eyes narrowed in confusion. He was tense as he realized how close he was to seeing my face. He hadn't anticipated that. Now, the ball was in my park.

"What are you doing?" Grayson finally asked. I watched as the rain slid down his face, sticking his hair across his forehead. It was an open and vulnerable look and I wanted more. I wanted to force the real Dick Grayson out. The Dick Grayson who made shitty jokes and made my heart leap into my throat.

"How do you do it?" I quietly asked, voice crackling with the radio.

"Do what?" Dick quietly asked.

"Look like that." I motioned towards him and he blinked, obviously lost. My Goldie would have rolled with it and smiled at me. My Goldie would have spun my words and used them to his advantage. This Robin…he had the same drive and passion, but none of the confidence. Not where it really counted. Dick Grayson knew his worth and never second guessed himself. What had changed?

"Red-" Dick began and I moved before I could even clearly think about it, my strides long as I finally reached Grayson. My arm hooked around his waist, dragging him forward against the my chest. Dick seemed too startled to react and I knew it was now or never. I hooked an arm behind his neck and nearly dipped him back as I finally did what I had dreamed of doing since I was twelve, crashing my lips against his in a brutal kiss. Dick went still in my arms as I attacked his lips, mouth moving desperately against his. He didn't struggle. He hadn't push me away yet. I pushed my luck, moving my lips over his rain slicked cheek and towards his neck, nipping at his flesh with desperation. I expected him to stop me, to attack me, but somehow…were those his arms wrapping around my shoulders? His hands were moving up to grasp at my face and I returned to his mouth. Our tongues fought for dominance as I began to walk him backward, shoving him against the building and quickly taking control of the kiss. It was my first kiss and my biggest wet dream. It was Heaven and Hell all mixed in one.

Dick made a small noise into the kiss and I pushed against him, grinding him against the building. I was so pleased when I heard he and Starfire decided to just stay friends. I didn't need those morals of his taking over. Yet, Dick had always been adventurous, and making out with a sworn enemy in an alley was just his kind of wank.

"Red…" His voice was breathy in my ear. I was almost fifteen years old boy, and my biggest wet dream was moaning in my ear, so yeah I got a boner. Sue me. I hoisted him smaller body up the wall and his long legs quickly wrapped around my waist. My mouth went back for his throat, sucking at his neck and leaving bruises behind. Dick's breath was hitching wildly, his fingers dug into my shoulders.

"You're shaking, G-kid," I quickly corrected myself. "You enjoying this?" I purred in his ear and the little shit actually laughed, pushing my face back towards him to kiss. It was an innocent kiss, soft and teasing and he nipped at my bottom lip. He was curious. He hadn't expected me to suddenly kiss him, but for some reason he had kissed back. The wall had to be rough against his back, but he didn't complain.

"You talk too much." Dick hummed into the kiss and I sniggered, biting at his lower lip. It was everything I had dreamed of and more. I had wanted to kiss him since I became Robin, I had come back from the dead still wanting to kiss him...and strangle him. Now here I was, sinning with no regret as I kissed the boy I had been in love with since before puberty. Could this day get any better?

"Well well," A voice from above us calmly spoke up, startling both of us. "What do we have here?" Dick and I both looked up and I inwardly groaned, because honestly, seeing Slade watching you grind against your hot not brother really was a boner killer.

"Nothing to see here." I called out with a jaunty wave as Dick glowered up at Slade. If it wasn't for how badly he was blushing I would have thought he was unaffected by being caught. He untangled himself from my grip and I put Slade on my list of people I was going to kill.

"Robin," Slade sighed, hands clasped behind his back as he stared down at Dick. "This is a surprise." He was looking from Dick to me and I wonder if he was jealous. Probably. The guy had a weird thing going with Dickie-bird. Speaking of which, wasn't this guy MIA or whatever? He hadn't joined the Brotherhood of Evil or attacked in months. What gives? Why now? Why when I had Dick right where I always wanted him?

"Why are you here, Slade?" Dick ground out through gritted teeth. He had managed to pull himself together very quickly. It was sort of impressive and offensive.

"Catch you later kid," I finally dismissed myself. It didn't feel right leaving him to face Slade alone, but I had too much on my mind to care. I took off towards the street, neither Slade or Dick sparing me another glance. I raced out down the sidewalk, not caring who saw. Now that I was off the high of the kiss, I could think again. I kissed him. I finally _kissed_ him. Granted, he had no idea who I really was but still... I hoped he hadn't made it a habit of kissing random male villains on the street. If I ever found out that Rancid or any other asshole had kissed him, I would be shooting kneecaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had them reunite and Jason went in for a kiss! I’m glad last chapter got all the good feedback that it did! Thank you guys! I'm still on the fence on how Dick will find out the truth...need to brainstorm more.


	7. Chapter 7

 

I spent the next couple days half in a high from having kissed Dickie and once that wore off I started kicking myself for leaving him with _Slade_. All these terrible scenarios went through my head, most involving abuse and some kinky BDSM scene. I hadn't seen or heard from him since that night. So, yeah I ended up panicking a bit…and broke into the tower. Not to check up and made sure Dick-head was okay or anything, but to make sure he wasn't dead. 'Cause then Bats would get involved and it was just too much hassle. It was late by the time I got to the tower and I scaled all the way up to the window I knew was Dickie's. Naturally, it was locked but I managed to rig it to open so I could slide in.

I thought I was some sly and sneaky tough shit as I slithered to the floor. That was until I looked up to see Dickhead in uniform sitting in a chair and watching me, arms crossed. We stared at each other before I offered a weak wave.

"Hey." I greeted. Dickie watched me for a long moment before slowly shaking his head.

"I watched you come in around the tower. You nearly tripped one of Cy's alarms." Dickie responded from where he sat in his chair. I awkwardly rubbed the back of my head.

"Did I look good?" I asked as I stood.

"Why are you here, Red?" Dickie asked, ignoring my question. I considered making something up just to get a rise out of him. Why was he even awake? It was two in the morning. He needed to get some sleep.

"He didn't hurt you did he? When I left?" I asked before Dick could speak again. Dick stared at me in surprise before seeming to come back to himself, knowing who I was talking about.

"No," He shook his head and I relaxed. "He didn't hurt me."

"Good…I mean…I'd hate for him to have messed up that face of yours even more than it already was." Nice save Red. Nice save. Dick snorted, still watching me in interest.

"Of course." He conceded. I shuffled, feeling awkward.

"You're not upset are you?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and standing on the balls of my feet. "About me kissing you?"

"I was surprised." Dick admitted, slowly standing. "But I kissed back."

"Yeah…you did." That had been a shock, but I didn't bother questioning Dickie on it. He always had his weird little reasons for things. I knew better than to try to get into that brain of his. We stood in silence for a moment and I could feel Dick studying me.

"So, uhhh…you and Starfire?" I finally asked in an attempt at small talk. Dick snorted.

"We decided we worked better as friends…I'm not sure she'd go for you though." Ah, so he was bringing up my little flirtation with her. I waved my hand dismissively.

"A shame, but I've got my eyes elsewhere." Dickie cocked his head at this and I swooned a bit.

"Oh? Like what?" He asked, tone taking on a painfully familiar light tease. He was flirting with me. My heart hammered in my chest. My Dickie was coming back.

"On a certain pretty bird." I teased back.

"I'm hardly pretty." Dick argued and I sniggered again.

"Modesty will get you anywhere." Flirting with Dickie-bird was like going to therapy. But the therapist was hot and you wanted to stick your tongue down their throat. I turned the lights off, allowing my eyes to adjust to the dark as I took my mask off. Dickie made a surprised noise at the dark, but didn't try to stop me.

"This isn't a smart idea." He commented, sounding more amused than anything. I ripped off my mask.

"Which makes it all the more fun, kid." I reached for Dickie, taking his hands in mine as I slowly pulled his gloves off. Dickie allowed me, barely seeming to breathe. I couldn't make out his face in the dark as I allowed my hand to move up his chest to reach his face. Dickie jerked in surprise and I quietly shushed him.

"Is this okay?" I asked, fingers brushing his mask. I knew he was debating his response. This was going against everything Batman had taught us, but he was curious and Dickie's curiosity was insatiable. He nodded and I peeled the mask off his face, setting it aside. I didn't kiss him, just quietly touched his face ran my fingers over his eyelashes. He followed suit, tracing my lips and nose.

No matter how much like the Bat he pretended to be, he was still Dick Grayson and he was still more interested in the mystery I presented rather than the danger. He moved his fingers through my hair and over my eyebrow. For a second I was afraid he would recognize me just my touching me, but there was no recognition, only curiosity.

I moved forward and gently pressed my lips against his. Goldie allowed it, slowly kissing back. My hand moved to cup the back of his neck, running my tongue over his bottom lip. His mouth slowly opened and I dove in. Kissing Dickie was…well it was obvious I was in love with the little shit. I had wanted to kiss him for so long and it was bittersweet now that I was doing it. I was finally kissing him, but he had no idea who I really was. That alone had this whole thing I was doing seem wrong. But I was never one to just stop, and Dickie always kissed back.

It was a stupid idea, one I would have never made in the future, but I was young and dumb enough to think it would work. I wanted to 'seduce' Dickie, to make him fall in love with me and ease him to me revealing who I really was. The attraction was already there. I just needed to offer a final push. He'd be so surprised to see I was alive, but too in love to care who I was.

I started sneaking into the tower more…or more like, Dick started sneaking me into the tower. We'd watch movies in his room, both masked and both considering each step carefully. Dickie wasn't willing to share his identity with a thief and I wasn't willing to give away my only advantage. Dickie liked marital arts movies. I could remember watching them with him back in Gotham. We had both loved sitting together on the couch and eating cereal early in the morning while we watched old films.

It was sort of like old times. We'd spend the night watching movies, sometimes talking. We didn't speak about anything personal. It was just time for us to hang out. Not as thieves vs heroes. Just two teenage boys that occasionally made out.

"This movie blows." I commented as the next one came on screen and Dick sniggered in glee.

"You're just not feeling the aster." Dick commented and I turned to him in surprise. He looked shocked that he had even said it. I hadn't expected to hear that word from him and now I wanted to keep him on track.

"Aster? What does that mean?" I pressed and for a second I thought Goldie wasn't gonna tell me. That he was horrified with what he just said. Then he slowly smiled, stretching back against the bed.

"It's the opposite of disaster." He finally admitted and I grinned behind my mask. I knew there was some of the old Dickie in there. This new Robin was just as fun, but it lacked what Dick had back in Gotham. Even glimpses like this were amazing.

"You made it up?"

"Sometimes the English language needs a bit of spice." Dickie argued and I laughed.

"I like it." I assured him and Dickie offered me a small smile.

"Got anymore words?" I asked and I swear if I had seen Dickie's eyes they would have been lit up in excitement.

* * *

_Wally West was a little shit, and not the good kind of little shit like Goldie. He was always there. Always at Goldie's side when the Justice League and JV Justice would meet up. Batman was finally bringing me along on these meetings and I stuck to Dick's side like glue. He didn't mind, always grinning at me and playfully shoving me. The team wasn't all horrible. Aqualad seemed okay, even if he was a bit holier than thou. Miss Martian was actually kind of funny and her crush on Superboy, even funnier. Superboy was like an angstier version of Superman. Artemis was okay. Friendly enough, but sort of suspicious of me. Then there was Roy…or Speedy. The guy always seemed peeved, but he was friendly with me. West could just fuck off._

_West obviously had feelings for the Artemis girl, and I think she liked him back. That would have been fine. Two annoying teenagers making eyes at each other was nothing. It was the other set of eyes that bugged me. Dickie looked at Wally when no one else was paying attention. I think Dickie liked Wally. Like liked him. West never noticed, and if he did he never said anything on it._

_I'm sure he just saw them as the best of friends. It was always those two, sniggering and fucking around. Wally had taken on the role of big brother, while Dickie kept his feelings to himself. Kind of like what I did. But I think, Wally actually had an idea that Dickie liked him. He'd always throw an arm around his shoulder and nudge him around even though Dickie's face would become redder than a tomato. I wondered if Wally was just doing it all to fuck with Dick._

_Wally obvious thought about as much of me as I did with him. We'd sort of scowl in each other's directions, not willing to talk. I had nothing to say to the asshole. He monopolized all of Goldie's time during these missions. His uniform was ugly too. Dickie could do better._

_"I think it will soon be time for Robin II to begin his training." Superman commented after he returned from his meeting with the rest of the league. I had been lounging around with the rest of the JV League. We had all agreed to a poker game. Dickie had been perched on the arm of the couch next to me. West and Artemis had been sitting across from us, all of us waiting as Aqualad finished passing out the poker cards. Batman fixed me with a long stare and I shifted, almost pushing Dickie off the couch if he hadn't had such quick reflexes._

_"It will take sometime before he can go onto the field." Wonder Woman pointed out. "He's still young. Perhaps once he turns thirteen we can test him on his ability with the team. None of the Young Justice kids said anything, but Dickie was beaming at me so it was okay._

_"It will take more training, but he certainly has potential." Batman admitted, observing me. Super Woman seemed happy with the admission. Batman muttered something to himself and the Justice League all moved to continue talking in private._

_"We already have a Robin." West complained as soon as they were out of the room, glaring at me and I sneered. Dickie shot him a withering glare before looking to me and smiling._

_"I think it's a great idea." He assured me. I might have puffed out a bit in satisfaction. Wally rolled his eyes._

_"He's still going to need more training but there is no reason he shouldn't be allowed to join." Aqualad piped up in that calm voice of his. I was still surprised that they even wanted me on the team._

_"He's too young." Wally argued and Roy snorted._

_"You heard Wonder Woman. They'd wait to see how he is by thirteen. It'll give him a bit of time to train up." West waved off the comment in annoyance. I wanted to throw something at him._

_"He's too violent." He argued and I almost had to agree with that. I mean, come on. I liked punching things. I tended to go overboard, but fuck Wally's opinion._

_"That's why he's going to be trained," Superboy softly pointed out. "He'll be able to learn that way."_

_"Plus I don't think it's a good idea if all he does is make googly eyes at you every time we're on the field. The last thing we want to happen is for someone to get hurt because he's too busy staring at Rob." He said this to Dickie. Dead silence answered. I nearly sank into the couch in horror. This fucking asshole actually had the fucking nerve to say that out loud._

_" **Kid Flash**!" Miss Martian gasped, scandalized. I heard Artemis hiss something at Wally. I didn't look up but I felt Dickie move off the edge of the couch. Away from me…Kid Flash had just ruined everything. Now Dickie would never speak to me._

_"What a hypocrite you are." Dickie suddenly said and my head shot up. He was glaring at West, arms crossed. "If that really was such an issue to you than maybe you should stop doing the same thing every time Artemis breathes." Dickie sounded pissed. I heard Aqualad intake of breath._

_"Robin, that's not fair." Artemis tried to gently argue, but she seemed to be considering it too._

_"Listen, Robin-" Wally tried to speak up but Dickie swiftly cut him off._

_"Furthermore, since we're on the subject, I've been making googly eyes at you for months, but that never seemed to bother you any. So enlighten us, what's the difference?" No one spoke. Wally's mouth was hanging open and I think mine was too. Dickie had just angrily outed his crush on Wally and didn't even seem to give a shit._

_"That's what I thought." Dickie coldly stated. "Don't you ever talk about him like that again." He coldly glared at everyone in the room, doing a great impression of Batman. He was daring them all to bring up what he had admitted. None of them dared._

_"C'mon," Dickie turned to me, suddenly beaming. "Let's go." Without looking at any of those assholes, I stood and followed Dickie out of the room. We walked for a bit, just exploring the various rooms. Dickie was waiting for me to speak up. It would have been a perfect opportunity. I could have told him how I felt. Even if he didn't like me back, it would have been good to let go of. Dickie looked to me and I shifted awkwardly. This building suddenly felt to small, like I was being squeezed to death._

_"Kid Flash is an asshole." I finally muttered and Dickie smiled slightly, nodding._

_"Yeah, he is," He agreed. I knew they'd end up making up. They always did, but right now Dickie was on my side. I hope Kid Flash groveled. It was the least he deserved. Dickie shifted from one foot to another. "And what he said-"_

_"It's not true," I suddenly snapped. "It's not like I **like** you or anything. You're the closest thing I have to a brother, so I'm a bit protective." The argument was half true, but it still sucked to say. I forced myself to look at Dick. "Can we just drop it?" I nearly begged. Dickie smiled at me and nodded._

_"Okay."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More kindling romance! Angst is slowly coming though. I know the continuity with Speedy and Artemis is off, I apologize!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst, because why not?

_About two weeks before Dickie got shot I dragged him to church with me. Even though Bruce wasn't religious he accommodated well and found one within a reasonable distance from the manor. It was a gaudy place with awful 80's carpeting, but Bruce found me a quiet one where I didn't have to worry about running into the elite assholes and their uppity families. I could just go to my corner pew and pray quietly without any looks. Alfred or Bruce used to drop me off, neither interested in attending but neither judging me on going._

_The chapel I used to go to with Ma was long since abandoned. Even with her gone, I still wanted to attend. Religion was all I really had anymore. The rosary she would later give to me had belonged to her Grandfather. I used to peek at her as she used it, never understanding what she was doing until she finally sat me down and explained it all to me. I think Dickie's family had been religious. Protestants I think. I remember hearing about all the wars between Catholics and Protestants in school. It was still belief in God and that was all that should have mattered. Dickie stopped believing so much the day the wires snapped._

**_"…Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die…"_ **

_Before he ran away to Jump City I think he had started dabbling in Buddhism. It was all karma and good vibes and all things Dickie. I think part of him wanted to find a religion to be able to hold onto, but the cynical part of him still refused to budge. I was surprised i didn't end up having that issue when Ma died. Religion became my anchor, something that brought me back to a better time. Still, when I asked Dick to go to the service with me he didn't say no, even though I'm pretty sure he wanted to. Organized religion was not his sort of thing; I appreciated him for agreeing. He sat with me in the back pew, quiet as the service went along. We listened as the Minister spoke his verse, voice loud and echoing in the chapel._

**_"…Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. "Roll the stone aside," Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man's sister, protested, "Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible…"_ **

_I followed along with each prayer, holding my Ma's rosary close. Dad had also been religious. They used to go to the little chapel near our apartment together. It was a loud church I guess. The people there were very warm and inviting and Ma had made a lot of friends. This wasn't a singing kind of church and there wasn't much talking. We mostly just listened and prayed. The silence was comforting though. It was peaceful. Dickie was quiet beside me. He didn't know the verses but he'd lower his head when the prayer started but when I chanced a peek at him I noticed that his eyes remained open._

**_"…Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, "Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me." Then Jesus shouted, "Lazarus, come out!"_ **

_"Thank you for going with me." I murmured to him as soon as we were released. We stood on the sidewalk, watching as the rest of the church goers wandered off to their next destination. Dickie-bird offered me a small smile, nudging me lightly as we waited for Alfred to arrive._

_"Anytime, Little Wing." He chirped. An elderly couple from the church passed us, the lady smiling at us as her husband led her away. We watched them walk away and I lightly pushed Dick's shoulder._

_"I'm taller than you. If anything, **you're** Little Wing." I countered and Dick only smiled wider, looping his arm through mine without a care of where we were and who was watching. I glanced around quick but no one was even looking at us. Dickie was still grinning at me. _

_"You could be 8 feet tall and as jacked as Superman, you'll always be my Little Wing." He teased, bright eyes seeming to glow. I stared, a bit distracted by them before offering a slow nod of acceptance. Whatever Dickie said, as long as he continued to smile at me like that._

* * *

I don't know how Talia got the information, but one day I checked my messages to find out that she had sent me information on the Joker and what had followed after me death. I should have figured Bruce wouldn't kill him. Even after what the psycho had done to me he was still running free to place his cat and mouse game with Batman. I was dead and the Joker was not. Where was the justice in that? I could hardly breathe. Dick hadn't even bothered to attend my funeral. My own funeral and he wasn't there. Even that fucker Wally West was there, but not Grayson. All of it hit me at once. Joker still on the streets, Batman not getting justice and Dick not even caring.

That night, I met Grayson out alone within the city. We had traded numbers, which was shocking considering who I was. Grayson's team would have been horrified. Their leader was meeting with a thief to make out in some gross alleyway. Dickie seemed to enjoy the rush and what at first would have made me happy to see something so obviously Goldie, now it was just to be used to my advantage. I had managed to peak his interest. I was the bad guy, I was forbidden and Dickie loved pushing the boundaries. Had always loved it.

So the night I called him to meet me near the docks, I knew he would come. Last time I had called him out we had lounged on the rooftop and just stargazed. Dickie's fascination with stars had always been endearing. He had quietly commented that the stars in cities were too dull to enjoy. I remember him saying something similar in Gotham and I had been a stupid kid, thinking that one day I would take him far away from Gotham to see the stars, that I would take him to Romania of he had wished for it. I'd take him anywhere he wanted to go, as long as I could be at his side through it.

This was going to be different though. I hadn't called him to make out or stargaze. I was passed that now. I had called him to the docks to confront him on abandoning me, for not even bothering to visit, or even come to my go damned funeral. I was going to confront him on things I couldn't with Bruce. Bruce was all the way in Gotham, playing his stupid games with Joker. Bruce was too busy pretending to be the good guy while watching my body be lowered into...into the dark. Bruce failed me. I had been taken from him. The Joker took me away. Bruce didn't even _care_.

"Hey," Dick's voice called out in the dark. His voice was grating against the sound of the ocean. I turned from where I was perched waiting to see him walking across the docks. He had found me easily and was looking up at me curiously. I leaped from my perch onto a lower rafter, before sliding down to the deck below. Grayson walked towards me. I was going to face this maturely. I wasn't going to lose my shit. Then he spoke. "You-" Before Dick could finish that sentence I had lunged forward and hit him, splitting his lip with one strike. He stumbled back and I followed after him, hitting him again in the ribs. He reached for his bow staff attached to his back and swung it around just in time to cuff me. I stumbled back, catching myself just as he swung again. I grabbed onto his bow staff and yanked it towards me, sending Grayson forward for me to snag him by the back of his neck.

"Bastard-" Grayson snarled, trying to elbow me. I spun him around and pinned him hard against the wall, the back of his head smacking loudly off the brick. He managed a weak gasp of pain, his grip that he had on my own arm suddenly going weak. I was stronger than him. What he had in agility I had in brute strength and I was using it all against him. With my free hand I ripped the mask off my face, finally letting him see my face. Grayson's mouth opened and closed in what I assumed was shock.

"Recognize me, Goldie?" I snarled, arm moving to bash against his throat and keep him pinned. With my other hand I reached up and tore his own mask off, seeing those mismatched eyes for the first time in about two years. They were just as painful to look at as they were before, but they looked dazed as if looking right through me.

"Jason…" Dick breathed after a moment, his voice slurring slightly. "You're…here…" I must have hit his head pretty hard. He blinked, frowning as he tried to look me in the eye. When he did manage to look at me, he smiled. I refused to soften at the sight of it.

"Back form the dead, Dickie. But you couldn't even be bothered to go to my funeral." I know I sounded like an asshole and that I was glaring at him. I had never hit him before. I never would have considered putting a hand on him. Dickie shook his head but it looked like it took a lot of effort.

"I didn't know-" He began, head tipping forward and eyes drooping. Now he was just making excuses. He had called me so many times claiming t just want to talk, but he wasn't _there_. I would have wanted…needed him. Just like I had needed Bruce and even Alfred. They were all I had left. Bruce had failed to save or avenge me and Grayson hadn't even bothered to say goodbye.

"BULLSHIT." My voice was loud, echoing through the docks. If anyone wondered if we were here, now it was obvious. "You knew I died! You knew the Joker did it, but where were you!? You're a **coward**! You were hiding here as always!" I shook him once, and he tried to struggle, weakly pushing at my arm.

"I wanted to be there. I wanted to see you…" He managed to slur out. I shook my head, laughing despite not finding anything funny.

"You and Bruce must have made up quick. Nothing like a death in the family to get people talking." I was never going to hold up against the pedestal Richard Grayson had made. I was never going to reach him and everyone knew it. Bruce, Alfred, the Justice League, I was never going to be good enough for anyone. Grayson weakly shook his head.

"Not Bruce…" His voice trailed off and he fixed me with a steady glare, eyes narrowing. "You're not even real." Not even real. I was just a figment of Grayson's overly large imagination. I laughed then, sounding almost as fucked up as the Joker. Had I turned into him?

"Of course I'm not real. I'm a ghost or maybe a zombie. I'm fucking dead and no one bothered to save me!" I cracked Dick's head against the wall one more time and all at once he went limp in my arms, head falling back as he lost consciousness. Fuck. "Wake up." I slapped his cheek with my free hand. "Wake up!" He didn't move again, his face was lax.

"Fuck." I swore as I lowered him to the deck floor, supporting his head with one hand and fishing for his Teen Titans communicator with the other. "C'mon Dickie, open those eyes for me." I tried to gently shake him, but he was out. Not even reacting to me hitting him. I managed to pull the communicator from his pocket and hit the distress button, setting it down by his head. The team would probably be snooping away here in next to no time. His mask was laying several feet away and I swiped it up before returning it to cover Grayson's face. I might have been pissed at him and want to continue kicking his ass, but his identity was his. No one else needed to see him like that.

I walked a bit towards the entrance of the docks, feeling heavier than I had ever felt. I glanced back to where he lay unmoving, the communicator flashing wildly. "This isn't over," I muttered at him even though he couldn't hear me now. "I still need to find out what you know about the Joker." I grabbed my own mask and pulled it over my head. I was done for the night.

I left him there.

And not once did I look back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much drama for these boys!

The faint beeping of a heart monitor is what woke me up. It's really not the first time I've woken up to that sound and it wouldn't be the last. I tried opening my eyes, but the sharp light had me closing them again with a little moan of discomfort. I heard someone move around me and dim the lights a bit. "Rob, you okay?" The voice asked and it took me a moment to recognize it as Cyborg. "Don't open your eyes yet. I'll grab your mask." It was hard not to appreciate him in times like these. I waited as he took my mask from wherever it had been set and move it back to my face.

"Thanks." I managed weakly as I adjusted it. Cyborg hummed in response before moving back to the seat he had been sitting in. "How long was I out." My head was pounding every time I spoke.

"It's been almost fourteen hours. You took a major beating." Cyborg sounded far away, as if he was speaking through a long tunnel. I turned toward him, my head was too heavy to come off the pillow and I frowned as I tried to think of what happened. "All the videos at the docks were down. We have no idea who attacked you."

"I was attacked?" My voice was clearer than I had expected. Cyborg nodded, looking unhappy with the whole situation. He looked away for a moment, staring at the medical equipment in the corner of the room. His one eye was narrowed.

"Yeah, you went out to patrol but your distress signal went off twenty minutes later. BB and I found you at the docks." The docks. I remembered going to the docks…but why? Usually on my patrols I stuck to the streets. Had I been chasing someone? Who had I- oh yeah. I had gone out to meet Red X before my patrol. He had texted me and asked me to meet him at the docks. "Your skull was cracked and you have a pretty bad concussion. Rae wants you to take the next couple of days to rest." Cyborg's words pulled me back. I didn't bother arguing that I was fine like I tended to do.

"You don't remember anything?" Cyborg urged and I slowly shook my head. It was a lie of course. I remember going to the docks to see Red…it was stupid of me. The whole thing we had going on was so stupid and dangerous. I had been sneaking around with him for nearly two months. He was a challenge. Something different that kept me on my toes and I _liked_ it. I liked the danger it presented. I liked kissing him in an alleyway while the threat of being caught was possible. Even when we weren't kissing, I just liked being around him. He was relaxed and aloof and it was nice to not think about the Titans, or Bruce or anything real at that moment. It was a chance to let go a bit and enjoy something else. Red X was my enemy, but in a way he was my rival. We fought similarly, we bantered well. It was almost like…never mind. It was just something different and I had liked it.

I had gone down to the docks to see Red, probably thinking he wanted to make out or stargaze again. I guess he had other plans. I could remember the first couple of hits easily, but once I hit my head, I couldn't remember anything else. Just that moment where Red X charged at me and then everything else was black. Cyborg watched me for a moment in concern before reaching out and lightly touching my arm.

"You just get some rest, okay Rob? We'll find out who did this to you…it's not Slade's style…maybe Rancid…" Cyborg was mulling over the possible suspects and I nodded at him. It was neither of them, but I couldn't bring myself to mention Red X. I didn't want to risk what sort of trouble I would be in if everything that had been happening came to light. I'd play dumb and use this as a learning opportunity. If Red X came forward and admitted to it, I would have to think fast, but for now I just wanted to sleep. Cyborg smiled at me once more and ruffled my hair like I was a kid.

"Get some sleep, Rob. We'll talk more when you're feeling better." He strode out of the room and gently closed the door behind him, letting the lights dim back down to black.

_"Quite the show, Robin." Slade commented, watching me with what I knew was an amused expression. Red X had already bolted and left me behind, but Slade made no move to attack me. He had been…off since the Trigon incident. I didn't know how to approach him now. Things weren't so black and white anymore._

_"I didn't take you for being a voyeur, Slade." I replied and the man actually chuckled._

_"I hold many mysteries. You should be well aware of that by now." He was talking about Batman. I knew he was. It was his game, to egg at me but never actually bring up Batman's name. He was just a reminder of who was beyond Jump City._

_"Should I?" I kept my face impassive, knowing that if I gave even an inch, Slade would take a mile. Slade continued watching me, arms clasped behind his back._

_"You allowed him to touch you." He mused and I shifted a step back, hand grasping at my bo staff. He had seen everything. This couldn't be good. His tone was weird. Not angry but not happy, almost_ **_disappointed_ ** _. Before I could say anything he leaped down from his perch. For a big man he moved gracefully enough almost like he never touched any surface, something not even Batman managed. He landed a few feet away from me and stood at his full height. I pointed my staff towards him, eyes narrowing._

_"Why are you here?" I ground out. Slade took one step closer, pace relaxed._

_"Is it wrong for me to check on my apprentice?" Slade asked conversationally. I stared in exasperation. The man was relentless. I thought after the whole Terra and Trigon fiasco he would have at least given up on that pursuit, but i guess not._

_"You're_ **_still_ ** _harping on that?" I asked, tone openly incredulous and Slade actually shrugged._

_"Naturally. You should know I am a stubborn man."_

_"Yeah…" I knew that all too well. I guess it was something that we had in common. Not that I would ever admit it._

_"He will turn on you, Robin," Slade slowly stated as if speaking to a frightened animal. "His kind always do." He was talking about Red X now. He wasn't threatening to go forward with the information, which I had expected, but the comment threw me._

_"How do you-"_

_"Because he walks a similar path to mine." Slade cut me off. "And I know how that path will end. Do not be so foolish. I know you are smarter than this." He sounded like Batman, always thinking he knew what was best for me. I took a step back, both pride and stubbornness keeping me from considering his words._

_"Guess not." I replied softly and Slade inclined his head, one eyes fixed pointedly on me. He moved forward and I was too stubborn to back up. His feet were silent as he moved, each step purposeful. He came to a stop right in front of me and stared down at me. I had no choice but to turn my head up to meet his stare with a glare of my own._

_"Should he slip up Robin, I_ **_will_ ** _be there." Slade finally drawled. I blinked in confusion. What did he mean by that? Was he_ **_threatening_ ** _Red X if he hurt me?_

_"What-" Before I could even ask, Slade took off for the roofs, leaving me standing alone in the alleyway, staring at the place he had once stood. I stared hard at that spot for a long moment, barely breathing. When I finally came back to my senses I was left wondering what exactly Slade was playing at this time._

In the end, I guess Slade was right after all. Something in Red X snapped and now here I was with a cracked skull and a bruised ego. It was stupid of me. How stupid was I to actually think that Red X had any actual interest in me? Hadn't Bruce taught me better? Never tangle with the enemy. Never let them in. No wonder he didn't talk to me anymore. It would only end badly. Even after all these years I was still a little circus brat chasing at the heels of everyone else. Red X was just another of those unreachable, just like Bruce and just like my parents. It was so stupid of me. I should have known…what would…what would Jason think? If he were alive, what sort of message would I have sent him? Keep chasing the dangerous? Isn't that what took him away from this world?

I had to stop. Thinking about Jason only hurt. I closed my eyes, mouth pulling into a tight line. Now that I had time to curse myself for being so stupidly blind I did. I had come to Jump City to become an independent hero and still I was failing on that front. Now it was even more messed up and I didn't know what to do.

* * *

I've never lost my temper like that. I had always been hot headed and it never took much to piss me off, but I had never let it get that bad. Especially not against Dickie-bird.

"Idiota estúpido" **(1)** I cursed myself under my breath for probably the tenth time in a row. Alfred would have washed my mouth put with soap. I don't know what came over me. Just a blind rage and Dick was just too easy at times… I avoided the streets for the next few days after that, forgoing all potential hits in fear of running into the Teen Titans. From the monitors I kept tags on, Dickie was nowhere in sight with the team. That only made me feel even shittier. I must have hit him harder than I had thought. He was out of commission and that got a lot of tongues wagging. The villains of Jump City were all a bunch of no good gossips.

I don't know why I bothered to associate myself with the villains of Jump City. After Gotham, most of these clowns really weren't all that scary. Most of them were jokes. Slade was different. He was as close to Gotham as we would get. Maybe that was why Dickie had zoned in on him so badly. In any case, I managed to gain a footing within the Jump City villain community, particularly among the younger ones. I first was introduced to the guy Fang and his terrifying girlfriend Kitten. Cute couple. I hoped they never bred. There was the H.I.V.E Five and guys like Johnny Rancid and Control Freak. Really, they weren't much. Kitten still had an obsession with Dick and despised the alien chick, Starfire. Rancid managed to cause Dick to break his arm, which at that point in my life I didn't consider it a bad thing. I was firmly in that dark place where any pain that someone gave to Batman or Dick was just what was coming to them.

Anyway, when one night I decided to scum around with the younger crowd, we got to talking. Control Freak usually brought movies over and Rancid brought the pizza. We had been settling down and shooting the shit when Kitten had mentioned a movie. She had been whispering as if it were a dirty thing to talk about in public and of course that got my attention.

"What movie is it?" I asked, craning my head back. Kitten blinked in surprise, turning to Fang who shrugged. I wonder how making out with each other worked.

"Wait X, you've never seen the video?" Rancid was staring at me with his eyebrows high. I shook my head.

"Yeah man, it's sort of an initiation ritual." See-More pointed out.

"What's the video of?" I asked, flopping on the couch. Gizmo shifted, looking uncomfortable and Rancid actually hesitated. It seemed like whatever it was had even these thieves and assholes lost for words.

"We didn't expect anything like it to be shown. I mean it came out before really any of us but Slade and Mad Mod were running the place…but it got leaked and now every villain in Jump City kind of takes it as a chance to get into bird brain's head." Control Freak fiddled with the disk he was holding and I narrowed my eyes behind the mask.

"What does this have to do with D-…bird brain?" I asked and Kyd Wykkyd shared a dubious glance with See-More. They all obviously knew something that I didn't. Which was rare with these morons.

"I think it was the Joker's way of really fucking with his head." Rancid spoke up. The Joker got my interest and I released a sharp breath. "We've all seen it, but Slade's made it very clear that he does not want to hear about us using this when we fight Robin. Something about not bringing in ghosts when taking down an enemy." If Slade made the actual effort to order the rest around, it must really be something. Honor among villains wasn't exactly that important, unless you were Slade I guess; and no one disputed Slade. Control Freak handed me the disk. I had nearly short circuited at hearing that the Joker was involved but managed to take the disk without making myself look stupid.

"I really don't need to see it again, but all of us have already seen it. You might as well, too." I looked at the disk in interest.

"Yeah, I'll check it out later." I confirmed and Control Freak nodded. He sat himself down near Rancid, grabbing his own slice of too greasy pizza.

"Just remember not to talk about it. We're villains, but we're not…we're not _that_." Those words made me respect the villains of Jump City much more than I ever thought possible.

After I left the little get together, I went straight to my hideout and played the disk. I watched as the video started in tense silence. You know when you get a glimpse of something you really hate and you think it won't effect you that badly? Well, yeah me neither. As soon as the Joker appeared on the screen, I could barely stop myself from screaming in rage. Seeing his face again and remembering what he had done to me… I settled for biting my lip and controlling my breathing. He would pay eventually…I just needed more training. I ignored what he was saying for the most part, too busy trying to keep my anger in check, until he called out Robin and Dick's face appeared on the screen. I stared. I could see Dick and the rest of the Titans, staring at the screen. Joker was crooning at Dick who offered him a smile I hadn't seen since Gotham and a witty retort. It was like a punch to the gut.

Was I really that unimportant to him? Was I nothing? Here he was making small talk with the animal that killed me with no care in the world. I should have beaten his pretty little face even more. I would have stood and left if it were not for what happened next. I appeared on the screen and Joker ordered Dick to watch. It all slowly began to dawn on me. Had he really live streamed my torture to the Dick? The fucker announced that it was being live streamed throughout Jump City, meaning that my not so lovely cohorts had unknowingly watched my death again and again. I wanted to turn it off, but I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. It was weird watching my own death approach as Dickie tried to reach Bruce. At one point he broke into Romanian, which only ever happened when he was extremely upset. He was pleading with Bruce. Had he tried to save me? He sounded so desperate. It must have fucked with him when Batman never barged through those doors.

Batman's voice was over the intercom as Dickie tried to coordinate him. His voice was eerily calm for someone who was about to have their sidekick blown up. Then it all clicked. This wasn't a live stream, Joker was sending him a pre made video. Dick never could have saved me because I was long dead and the Joker wanted to make him watch me die. The sick fuck wanted to spread the pain around in anyway he could. He wanted my death to become a joke. I was a punchline. I watched as the video version of me slumped down, prepared to die. I remember I had realized I was stuck and that I was going to die in about 30 seconds. I had started praying at some point, trying to cleanse my soul as best I could. Ma wouldn't have wanted me to die without remembering my prayers. I wanted Ma to be proud and see me in Heaven. I can briefly remember the fleeting pain and how the explosion had rushed at me. It was a quick death, but a slow march to it. At least I didn't die screaming. I didn't give the Joker that satisfaction. Dick's responding scream however made up for it.

The green kid managed to reach Dickie in time to support him before his knees buckled. My throat was dry and I was pretty sure I had bit through my lip. The Joker offered a final taunt and I watched as Dick finally sank to his knees, taking the green kid and Starfire down with him. I could hear Cyborg cursing and the grumpy chick was moving towards where Dick had fallen. He was silent. I could hear Beastboy and Starfire trying to talk to him, but Dickie was silent., face hidden in his knees. The screen turned to back. I stared at my reflexion off the now black television. I could barely breathe, mouth and throat dry. It was the Joker's final parting gift for both of us and he would die for it all.

It was then that I noticed someone else's reflexion stood just behind me, arms crossed over a powerful chest and a familiar black and orange mask staring into the eyes of my reflection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Idiota estúpido- Stupid Asshole
> 
> I think next chapter will be the last one in Jump City! Then Jason will be returning to Talia for more training.


	10. Chapter 10

"What are you doing here?" My voice seemed too loud in the tiny room, even if it was barely a mumble. I didn't jump, I didn't even turn around. I just stood there, staring as Slade's reflection. Slade did not move from his position, arms crossed over his chest as he looked back at me.

"I'm just here to take care of a pest problem I heard about." He drawled and my skin crawled with hearing his voice. He had one of those voices, you know? It wasn't sharp and ear piercing like the Joker's voice was. It clung though. Like cigarette smoke; his voice managed to seep into clothes and walls and stick to everything it came into contact with.

"Wow, your little puns and jokes really need some tweaking." Of course I couldn't help but mock him. It's what I did. Slade suddenly chuckled and let me tell you, it was not a nice sound. He was pissed. I knew he was. The laugh said it all. I had put my hands on his precious Robin, and he was here to rectify that mistake. His hand shot out before I could react and roughly turned me around to face him. He slammed me against the wall, his fingers digging roughly into my shoulders.

"You attacked him." His voice was cold and I shrugged, trying to play off the fact that my shoulder now hurt like hell. Had he been watching us that night? Or had he heard through the grapevine that Robin was down with a bad head injury. It wasn't something I was proud of. Goldie was the last person I would have ever imagined hurting, until the moment where all I wanted to do was make him bleed. The video feed was still fresh in my mind. My death and Dick's scream were ringing in my ears.

"You'll have to be a little more specific. I attack a lot of people." Slade's grip on me tightened and I tried not to wince. He leaned in a bit, fixing me with a cold stare. Man, pissed was an understatement. Slade was livid. I had attacked the boy he had set his sights on. I could have killed him and he could have died if I hadn't sent out the distress signal. Or he could have been found my some enemy with a grudge. It was luck that his team managed to get to him so quickly. Slade didn't seem the type to give luck much credit.

"It would be too easy. I could snap your neck right here and now. No one would look for you. No one would care." He continued to watch me for a long moment. I think he was considering doing just that and being done with it, but finally he pulled back, straightening back up. "You will never approach him again. You will leave the city and you will not come back."

"That afraid of me hurting your little apprentice? Oh wait, he's not your apprentice is he?" Man, I really needed to stop running my gob. Slade didn't laugh this time. He just looked at me, one visible eye narrowed.

"You clawed your way out of one casket, boy. Do you really wish to press your luck again?"

_Oh._

_Oh… oh fuck._

"What…" My mouth dropped open and I was glad for the mask at that moment…even if I now had a feeling it did nothing. How could he have known that? "What are you talking about?" I managed to ask.

"I believe you know exactly what I'm talking about, _Jason_." He emphasized my name, eye glinting almost maliciously.

_Fuck._

"I don't know who you think I am," I began to talk, tone stoic. "But my name's not Jason." My heart was hammering in my chest. Slade made tsking noise, calling my bullshit.

"Of course not. Jason Todd is dead. The second Robin is dead. Everyone has seen the video. You are nothing but a corpse masquerading as a thief." So there it was. Slade had figured out who I was and outed me with ease.

"You know-" My voice was steadier than I felt but he cut me off.

"Idiot boy, of course I know. Jason Todd, son of a drug addicted mother and absent father. Taken in by the good graces of Bruce Wayne. The second son, the problem son, the Robin who fell." He knew _everything_. How had he found out? How long had he known?

"I…" This was all going to Hell. This whole thing was some sort of nightmare.

"How was it?" Slade asked conversationally. "Clawing your way out of your own coffin? I can't even begin to image the stench? The decay must have already seeped into the fabric. It must have been nauseating? And trying to get out? The dirt in your eyes, mouth and filling your nostrils. It must have felt like you were suffocating. Like you would never reach fresh air again. The coffin was pulling you back down and freedom was so _very_ close. I can understand that sentiment. That desperation for life but that little inkling of desire to just let go. To just stop struggling and left the dirt reclaim you. It would have been easier, Jason. It would have ended it all." My throat constricted and I released a ragged breath. Every fear I had of that night was coming back and Slade was enjoying every moment of it. "But you don't do easy do you **_Red X_**? Your pride won't allow it. If you're not careful that pride will kill you and you may just remain that way." Slade wasn't moving, keeping me trapped like an animal. I couldn't even say anything, just stared at the man in horror.

"So let's see…Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd…who am I forgetting? Oh, _yes!_ My sweet _Robin_." I released a choked breath and Slade continued on. "Little Richard Grayson watched his entire family fall to their deaths and it was fate that Bruce Wayne would be there that night. Fate that would lead to him reaching out to the child and fate that had him rise to stand at Batman's side as the first Robin." He knew. He knew who Dickie was. He knew about Bruce Wayne and Batman, but more important than that, he _knew_ Dickie's secret. He knew who he was. He could do anything with this sort of information. He could hurt him.

"If you touch him-" I tried to threaten but Slade leaned in close, mask so close to mine that it was as if he was planning on planting one on me.

"I think you did enough touching for the both of us." Well, that could go one of two ways…but I don't think Slade would be pleased with me bringing up that I only got to first base with Robin. Maybe second. My hand brushed the butt, but only for a split second. It didn't like _stay_ there or anything. Wait, better stop thinking about that right now. I glared at Slade, refusing to back down and look away. I've faced the Joker. You sorta lost all fear after that kind of thing. "Heed my warning, boy. I know your identity and I'm sure there are many out there who could do a lot of harm with that knowledge." He was talking about the Joker. I knew he was; he was trying to scare me. I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled in my chest. Facing the Joker again? I wanted the psycho dead, but I knew I didn't stand a chance against him yet.

"You won't." I bit back and Slade blinked once.

"Oh? You sound certain of that."

"I am. If you out me, you out Robin and that's the last thing you want to do. It would put a target on his back and I know you, Slade. You're too obsessed with him to let any second rate loser or anyone else hurt him." I was dangling Goldie over Slade's head like some sort of virgin sacrifice. I couldn't even be sure that I would come out on top. I just had to hope that Slade's pride and obsession with him won over his anger.

"Of course I would take Robin out of the firing line if it came to that. With you and Batman dead, he would have no one," Slade's voice was like rotten honey, and his eye stared unblinking. "He never was one who took well to loneliness. I would offer him protection, companionship as well as the chance to improve himself. He would become unstoppable. This man had died too. This man had clawed his way out of Hell just like I had and his obsession for Dickie was just as strong as mine.

"You won't though." I replied confidently and Slade stared. "It would be too risky. You'd constantly have to watch his back for guys like the Joker and if you weren't fast enough…well you catch my drift and besides you like his spark. It would ruin him if anything happened to Batman or me." Slade and I continued our stare off, his grip on my shoulders tightening. My heart pounded in my chest, hoping Slade would back the fuck off. Finally, he released me and stepped back, his one visible eye narrowed.

"You will leave Jump City-"

"Already planning on it." I cut him off, but he gave no reaction to it. He just nodded curtly.

"Good. I would hate to have to confront you again, and trust me Jason, if I have to come back you will wish you had remained in your coffin." His voice wasn't above a hiss but it was a final parting threat before he made a quick retreat, blending silently into the shadows of my safe house and leaving me standing against the wall. I could feel blood in my mouth, not realizing that I had bit my lip at some point. I swallowed it, feeling like I was going to pule but all I did was slide slowly down the wall onto the floor, trying to catch my breath.

I didn't move for a long time.

* * *

_"Ma?" I spoke up, voice quiet in the little cemetery. I was seven and was standing hand in hand with my Ma, staring at my dad's grave. It had been about two years since he died. Ma was having trouble coping. She was working herself to the bone and waitressing didn't earn much. She was tired…I knew it. The electricity in our apartment had gone out and there was not hot water. Ma had been taking me to the local gyms to shower._

_"Yeah Jay?" Ma turned her head towards me, eyes softening when she looked at me. They were always nicest when it was just us. I gripped her hand a little tighter, shifting slightly._

_"When I grow up I'm gonna buy you the nicest house in the world." I promised her. She was wearing her favorite yellow peacoat. There was a button missing and a tear in the sleeve, but Ma adored it. It brought out the red in her hair. Ma always was prettiest when she was happy._

_"In the world?" Ma's eyebrows rose and she grinned at me. "That's pretty ambitious." I didn't know what ambition meant but I still nodded sternly._

_"It will have seven bathrooms and never be cold." I said without missing a beat and Ma smiled at me sorta sad. She smiled like that a lot. I wanted her to smile a happy smile. These sad ones hurt._

_"That's sweet of you Jay." She murmured, stroking her thumb over my hand._

_"And all the peacoats you could want." I added as an after thought and Ma laughed, smiling wide and happy._

_"You'll need a lot of money for that sort of thing, sweetheart." She warned me and I shrugged. Money didn't seem too hard. Nothing was too much for Ma. She would only have the best when I was grown up._

_"I'll do it mamá." I looked back at dad's grave. He'd want me to take care of her too. He'd want me to be strong. Ma followed my gaze and smiled again. The bags under her eyes seemed to have disappeared in that moment and she was suddenly young and in love again._

_"I don't doubt you'll do great things." Ma whispered, not looking away from dad's grave. "You'll make me proud."_

* * *

Despite Slade's threat, I decided to track Goldie down one last time. He had returned to his patrolling. For the first couple of days he had Starfire or Beastboy with him while he was out, but soon enough he was out on his own. I kept at a distance at first, just watching as he did his usual rounds. He healed up nicely, the bruises I had left him were fading fast. In the next couple of days know one would be able to tell that he had been attacked at all.

The Red X suit was well made and was perfect for stealth. Dickie had really outdone himself when he mad this. Even if it oozed angst. The soles of my feet practically glided while I moved, staying in the shadows and keeping Dick in my sight. It didn't do much in the end though. He knew he was being followed. The stiffness in his back and the way his head cocked just slightly as I moved towards him gave him away. But he didn't confront me at first. He continued with his patrol as if I weren't there. I watched his every move, noting any hesitation in his steps, looking for any lingering pain or hesitation. If he had any he didn't show it.

"Why are you here?" He suddenly asked. His words echoed my own to Slade days earlier. I shrugged, arms crossing over my chest. We were standing towards downtown but it was late enough that there were no straggles. Funny how that happened a lot with us.

"Just thought I'd stop by." I began conversationally. He finally turned to face me and the video flashed through my mind, his scream ringing and echoing in my ears. There was no recognition and it confirmed that his head injury had taken out a large chunk of his memory. Maybe not that I attacked him but who I really was. It was bittersweet and just my luck that he would not remember our last meeting.

"Didn't get enough last time?" He asked bitterly and I shrugged, leaning against a light pole as I looked him up and down.

"Did **_you_**?" I asked before I could stop myself. Dick didn't react, still remaining aloof and closed off as he stared me down. He was pissed, I knew he was. He had built a reputation in this city and I had ripped it all away. The little control he felt he had was taken from him and it grated at him. He looked ready to shoot something back but instead he shook his head.

"You're not worth it." He declared coolly and I laughed at this, taking a step towards Dick. He didn't move. He just continued to watch me, sizing me up if I tried to attack him again. It was what Batman had taught both of us. Consider the enemy before attacking. Use their strengths against them.

"Guess Bat's didn't teach you to not play with the enemy." My voice carried across the street and Robin tilted his head as he studied me, face a blank mask. Batman was a touchy subject for both of us and rubbing it in Dick's face felt better than it should have.

_"Batman, the Joker! He has…he has Robin. Cyborg has the coordinates! The place is rigged to blow!"_

"Guess not." Dick's voice was quiet, monotone. I took another step forward and surprisingly, Dick did too, matching my stride. He wasn't about to back down to me. It was sorta hot.

"I also wanted to say goodbye." I couldn't help but say. Dick paused, mask narrowing as he looked back at me.

"You're leaving?" He asked, tone icy and I nodded, hand indicating down the long empty street.

_"Salvează-l-"_

"Yeah, you know me, kid. I get bored easily and there's really nothing interesting around here anymore." It was a dig at him but for Dick's credit he didn't even react. "It was fun while it lasted, don't get me wrong. But you were just so _easy_. I bet if I pushed a bit more I coulda had you bending over the nearest bench." Dick did flinch at this and it churned my stomach. It was absolute shit what I was saying but Dick's scream was still in my head and my murderer was still alive. I had too much to risk by playing nice now. Maybe one day I could come back and talk to him. Maybe once the Joker was dead I could reach out. But for now I had a job to do.

"Ta ta, _Goldie_." I called over my shoulder, watching him stiffen at the nickname, but before he could say anything I launched a heavy smoke pellet at him and watched as dark smoke filled the street. I heard Dick cough behind me, blindly stumbling back.

"Wait-" I heard him cough call out weakly. I moved through the smoke, unaffected with my mask. I walked towards where Robin had stumbled and grabbed him by the front of his suit and something else that was hidden in the kevlar. It was the rosary. My rosary I had given him hung around his neck even now. Even with Bruce's rule about no personal items, Dickie still kept it. I moved before I could think of it, ripping the bottom part of my mask up and smashing my lips against his.

He tasted like sulfur and whatever else was in the smoke bomb but I didn't care. I didn't know how long I'd be gone. The time for games was now over. It was time to go back to Talia. I had training to complete. I pulled away from Dickie and stared at him for a long moment, the smoke still billowing around us. His lips were bruising from the force of my kiss and he looked dazed, the smoke irritating his eyes.

"I will." I whispered and with a final look took off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not bothering with Jason having a different mother or anything. Catherine Todd was his mother in this story and Jason still loves her with all his heart. As you can see, Slade is very possessive of Dick. I'm unsure myself if it would go sexual or just almost fatherly. What do you guys think it leans towards more?
> 
> Jason dropped a bit of hint for Dick! Not enough for him to know, but enough for him to wonder. I considered him just outing himself, but I have plans for the big reveal that's mostly me bouncing between fluff or angst. I have PLANS!
> 
> The next chapter will mostly deal with Jason and his training with Talia in the next few years and WILL feature some sexual situations between Talia and Jason.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone an update! I quickly want to clarify something. If anything were to happen between Slade and Dick it would not have happened until Dick was Nightwing and an adult. So no worries about Slade making moves on Robin!

There is something to be said about reaching the end of a long adored book. You had spent so much time immersed in its world and clung to it's pages with near desperation even when you knew that the pages were coming to an end. With each page flip, more time with the book is soon lost and when you finally reach that last page, you almost don't want to turn it. You don't want to read those final words because once you do, the book is over. Once the book is over you would have to find something else. A new book to take hold of and a new book to immerse yourself in. With the end of one saga comes the beginning of another. As Jason Todd finished his chapter as Red X, he placed it on the shelf with his previous chapters. Chapters of him as Jason Todd the son, Jason Todd the orphan, Jason Todd the ward of Bruce Wayne and then as Robin the second sidekick of the Batman. That book had ended quickly and the hiatus that followed had been like a blank period until he became Red X. But, with Red X now finished it was time to put that book aside and begin a new one. There was no title for this book quite yet.

So as Jason went to begin his new book, Dick Grayson had reached the end of his. Like Jason, he had his own story with his own beginnings and end. As a Flying Grayson, as the ward of Bruce Wayne and as the original Robin. All things had to end but Dick had never been one to let go easily. It wasn't in his nature. It was high time he put his book down and started another. It was time that he let Robin go.

Several months passed without much incident. Seasons changed and the Teen Titans continued to watch over Jump City. Red X had vanished and curiously enough, Slade had as well. Villains came and went, but the real challenge had left with Slade. Dick had always been the type to enjoy a challenge and now he found himself almost missing Slade. Sure, he was glad that the city was safer and that his friends and teammates were in less danger than before, but he had fought the likes of the Joker and Poison Ivy. Control Freak and Fang just seemed to pale in comparison.

But just like everything else in Dick's life, change was fast approaching and the beginning of it came in the form of a twelve year old boy. The boy had taken several city buses and had managed to lose his sweater during the trip from Gotham to Jump City. He wasn't an imposing boy by any means. He was on the shorter side and rather scrawny with a thin nose and grey blue eyes that were vastly intelligent.

The boy stood on the edge of the harbor and stared at the giant t on the island, putting his weight from one foot to the other as he went over his plan in his head. He just needed to hold it together and get across the water. Tim Drake had spent weeks preparing himself for this trip and now was not the time for him to be second guessing himself. He squared his shoulders and walked onto the docks.

In all honesty, Tim hadn't been sure what to expect when he approached the tower. He half expected lasers to be pointed at his head. That was hardly logical though. The Teen Titans didn't kill. Robin didn't kill. But that didn't stop the boy from nervously making his way forward, trying to force himself to remain calm. Would Robin even be here? Or would he be doing all this for nothing?

Before Tim could even start overthinking anything, the base door of the tower slid open and a familiar looking teenager stepped out. "Hi." Was all Tim could think of saying, lifting a hand for a small wave as the first Robin looked him over with narrowed eyes. It was the first Robin of course. Tim knew him anywhere…except…it was no longer Robin.

It was the same boy of course, but now he was dressed in a black body suit with a blue bird spread across his chest. The suit was formfitting and the mask the first Robin wore was a different design than the one he used to wear.

"Can I help you?" The first Robin finally asked, looking half concerned by the state of the boy and Tim nodded, squaring his shoulders.

"My name's Tim Drake," Tim greeted with a nod, feeling like his heart was racing far too loudly. "I was hoping I'd be able to talk to you." The former Robin inclined his head and Tim shifted. "It might be a better idea to talk privately." He advised and Robin studied him for a long moment. Tim could sense the difference. This was not the cackling and flamboyant boy from Gotham. Something had happened. Something had forced the first Robin to hide. The original Robin seemed to come to a decision because he stepped back to met Tim enter the tower. It was like God himself had decided to allow a mortal to have a day trip to Heaven.

The tower was impressive and spacious. Tim spotted one of Robin's teammates down the hall. Raven, Tim recalled. She glanced over her shoulder, looking at the former Robin who lifted a hand in greeting.

"Everything okay?" She asked, voice level, but suspicious. She was protective of the first against some scrawny little boy. The former Robin smiled at her and Tim knew that smile. He had seen it many times before on paper and grainy video feeds. The first Robin nodded his head.

"Yeah, we're cool Rae." He waved his hand to her and she finally nodded, pulling her hood back up over her head and casting her face in shadows.

"If you say so." She glided off down the hall and out of sight, leaving the two boys staring after her. The former Robin looked away from the spot she had once stood to study Tim.

"Come on." He nodded to a closed door down the hall and Tim was quick to follow him, glancing over his shoulder but not seeing another one of Robin's teammates in the area. Robin led Tim to a large room that the boy recognized as a training area. It was empty save for the two of them. The first Robin closed the door and fixed Tim with a long stare.

"Okay, what is it?" Tim shifted, face heating up. The first Robin had allowed him this far and he didn't want to mess it up now.

"I wanted to talk to you about Batman," He watched the first Robin's eyes narrow behind his mask. "Maybe I should start at the beginning. I know everything about you…and Batman. I mean who you are. Your identities and all that." He spoke all of this in a rush and the first Robin stared at the boy in obvious shock. Then his expression closed off and he studied the boy, looking for the sign of lies. Looking for a weakness that Tim refused to show.

"Do you really?" The first Robin's voice was skeptical and Tim nodded once. He looked around the training room, trying to find his words and not sound like some idiot kid. He only had one shot at this and he was on thin ice.

"We've met actually. Years ago when you…well at the circus. It's one of my earliest memories. I was three and my parents brought me to Haly's circus." He watched the first Robin's body stiffen slightly and pressed on. "I remember you were there and you saw me. You were in your uniform, matching your parents and you smiled at me and said hello." Tim could feel the older boy's eyes fixed on him, barely breathing. Tim swallowed. "My dad took a picture of us together. You told me to have fun tonight and that the fired dough was really good. I could barely breathe. It was like a dream. Richard Grayson the youngest of the Flying Graysons' had said hello to me."

Dick Grayson closed his eyes, half in horror and half in confusion. He didn't know what to do with this. Tim had effectively outed him and that thought scared him. Tim looked at him, expression morphing from hopeful to frightened. He didn't dare speak again. He couldn't risk Bruce's identity at this point.

Tim continued to study the older boy. "I know that Bruce Wayne is the Batman and I know there is only one human left in the world that can do a quadruple somersault was taken in by Bruce Wayne after losing his family and months later, Robin appeared with Batman and could perform a quadruple somersault. Then there was another after you but…" Tim's voice trailed off. Dick could barely breathe.

So it had happened. Someone had managed to find out who Batman and Robin were. Someone had discovered their secret.

"And what exactly are your plans with this knowledge?" Dick managed to ask, voice lighter than he had expected. Tim's expression suddenly morphed into horror.

"Nothing! I won't tell anyone! I just had to meet you. I wanted to offer you help. Batman is alone in Gotham. Batman needs a Robin." Tim gently explained. Dick walked around the room, movements graceful and fluid.

"I can't be that for him anymore." Dick quietly replied and Tim nodded. He understood that. He didn't know exactly what had happened between the first Robin and Batman, but he knew there was hurt. He had seen the video feed the Joker had released of him murdering the second Robin. He had heard Dick Grayson's responding scream when Jason Todd had died.

"I know. You want to move on from the past…If you…if I could have your approval and blessing, I'd like to become Robin. Batman can't defend Gotham alone. I could help him." The offer was hopeful and Dick stared at the boy for a long moment. All he could think of in that moment was Jason. The Robin that had been lost. He should be the final Robin. It should have died with him. Bruce had managed to set off on his own again, but Dick had avoided news about him. Dick had not seen Bruce since he confronted him about Jason's death. That had been what, two years now? Three?

"Shouldn't you be offering this to Batman?" Dick finally managed to ask.

"You're the original Robin. If anyone should have say in who succeeds his title I figured it should be you."

"I'm not him anymore." It sounded so sad. Like Dick was lost and Tim couldn't think of anything to say in comfort.

"But you were. You were Robin even when Batman brought in another kid…I'm surprised that you've given it up." Tim murmured and Dick looked away, staring at the training equipment for a long moment.

"Robin was my childhood. If I ever wanted to get out of Batman's shadow and move on from Jason's…" Dick's voice trailed off for a moment and Tim watched as he struggle to find the right words. Finally the older boy nodded his head. "I just needed to be able to let go."

It had been very recent. In the weeks after Slade and Red X had left the city. Dick had finally decided that it was time to let go of Robin and let it rest. There were too many ghosts attached to the name. His mother's falling figure plummeting to the earth and Jason's detached acceptance as the timer ran out.

"I know," Tim replied softly. "And I'd like to help." Dick looked back to Tim, taking him in and considering a the boy fought to stand tall.

"It is not an easy life." Dick began.

"I know."

"You would be in constant danger and you would have to keep your identity a secret at all times. No one could know about you or any of us."

"I know." Tim repeated and Dick released a weary sigh, finally seeming to come to a decision.

If you can reach Batman and persuade him to accept you, I see no reason to why you can't up the mantle." He concluded and watched as the boy started to smile but he lifted a hand to continue. "Batman lost our last Robin so I am not even sure he will accept you. You have to work hard to gain any favor from him. Prove to him that you have what it takes. If he even considers it, it would take months before he would allow you on the streets with him." Tim began nodding his head vigorously, eyes suddenly brightening with hope.

"I won't let him, or you down." He vowed solemnly and Dick offered the boy a weak smile. This wasn't Jason. He would never be Jason, but perhaps Bruce would be able to heal with Tim at his side. Maybe with someone as bright and observing as Tim, Batman would find it in himself to move on.

* * *

Jason Todd was an enigma. Talia often found herself in awe of the raw strength the boy presented. He was filled with such pain and anger and he utilized it so beautifully. He was growing from that gangly child he had been and at fifteen years old he was finally forming into a capable young man. She found herself highly amused at this. He was fire to Bruce's ice and his rage would consume the world. Talia was looking forward to watch it all smolder. Her beloved however…he always had too soft a heart. Soften even more by that _boy_ he had taken in. The little gypsy had managed to wrap Batman and Bruce Wayne around one of his filthy fingers and had nearly succeeded with her darling Jason as well. She would have to ensure the brat never had that chance again. Her Damian would put an end to it.

Her own son, the child of her beloved Bruce and herself would soon grow into his own potential. He was young still, only six, but given time he would be able to harness the talent he held and finally meet his father. He already had the correct mindset. He was perfect. Her mouth and sharp jawline and Bruce's eyes and nose and hair. With their looks came their talents and her son was quickly rising. He had yet to meet Jason and she had no plans for that to happen while she was training the young man. She had such plans for both of them. Her father didn't understand. He held no such fondness for Jason, deeming him unworthy of the Pits, but what he didn't see Talia did.

She smiled from her perch as she watched Jason train in the courtyard below. "Your attacks need to be sharper." She called out and Jason effortlessly managed to kick the next target as she instructed. Talia slowly smiled. At her side, Ra's al Ghul watched the boy.

"He holds far too much anger." He chided coolly. "His rage is too consuming."

"And I shall harness it." Talia replied without looking at her father. Ra's did not respond to this, continuing to watch Jason with his dark eyes. Jason leaped back as one of the assassins aimed his knife for his throat. The boy's leg shot forward, lifting and hooking around the assassin and using the momentum to throw the assassin over his head and harshly onto their back.

"You think he will serve you with loyalty?" Ra's questioned and Talia clasped her hands behind her back, posture confident.

"I have no doubt that he will. Batman trained him as best he could and now with me, Jason shall flourish." Jason's hits were heavy and accurate, his eyes narrowed in concentration. Ra's finally relented and stepped back.

"See that he does, Talia. I would hate for this all to have been a waste of time." Jason's hand darted out, grasping the next attacking assassin and twisting them around until he had them pinned beneath his knee, his grip tightened and there was a pop as the target's arm was wrenched back. Talia barely heard her father. She had such plans.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim's in and soon we're back with Young Justice Season Two! So, I pictured Talia as being creepily fond of Jason and despising Dick as some sort of locust who stole Bruce away from her and who had latched onto Jason. She's going to be so happy when Damian and Dick meet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, works been super busy so I'm squeezing this in! This chapter will be heavy in JayDick fluff!
> 
> Also, Talia will be creeping on Jason.

 

Talia's hands were warm. That was always my first thought when she touched me. A stray caress to my jaw, a touch to my temple. Talia was a toucher. Not in the casual way, but more like she was testing something. She was testing my reactions to her. It was another one of those games she liked to play with me and I was never one to back down. Her fingers trailed over my back and up my neck. I didn't dare move, standing tense as I let her fingers explore me. She moved towards my chest, fingertips ghosting over the scar that was spread across it. I had crawled out of my grave with scars that I hadn't owned when I died. The giant Y autopsy scar was disgusting and thick, the skin was raised and discolored but Talia didn't flinch away. She wasn't the flinching type. She just stared at the scar before her fingers moved again, up towards my face until they gently brushed over my lips. Her nails were long and brushed over my bottom lip, flicking at it as she stared unblinking into my eyes.

"You have done well, Jason." She hummed, dark eyes sparkling in the dim lighting of the training room. I didn't dare speak. I barely even dared to breathe. She stepped back, hand falling to her side. There was always something that seemed to stop her. One second, her hand would be moving then she would pull back and watch me. It was as if she was waiting for something. I didn't know what it was and she never would speak it out loud. I had been training non stop, refusing to allow myself to be distracted.

"Given time, you will one day be able to face the Joker and avenge yourself." Talia continued on, striding around Jason in a graceful circle. "You have pleased me and I do believe my father is impressed." Ra's al Ghul was not some easily impressed old man. I wasn't sure I trusted Talia on that commented, but like I had said before, I knew when to stay silent. Talia moved forward, fingers slipping under my chin to lift my face up. She watched me again and I waited for her to say something. My eyes widened as she leaned in close, her lips nearly brushing over mine.

"How old are you now, Jason?" She asked, breath ghosting over my skin. Her hands were always warm unlike her eyes. Her eyes were dark, bottomless and cold. It was a weird contrast.

"Fifteen." My voice came out steadier than I expected and Talia smiled, slowly releasing me. She stepped back, arms clasping behind her back and full lips pulled into a thin line as she once again changed from nearly flirtatious to my ice cold instructor.

"Continue." She nodded to the training dummy and I attacked without a second thought.

* * *

_It was getting dark outside and Jason still wasn't done with his homework. "I'm going over my lines." He had spoken over his shoulder after Dick had curiously poked his head in to see what he was doing. Dick pushed the door open and walked in. He was out of his school uniform and was wearing an oversized shirt and sweatpants that were frayed at the end. Jason wondered what Alfred would say if he saw it. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder with his own schoolwork._

_"Which play?" Dick asked, standing next to Jason and looking over his shoulder._

_"The Tempest. Our English was broken into groups to perform a scene." Jason explained. He loved Shakespeare and although he'd never admit it out loud, he found it relaxing to listen to. The Tempest was one of his favorites. He despised Romeo and Juliet and had refused to do lines from that play. Romantic his ass. Lack of communication and poor life choices were more of a description._

_"Can I help at all?" Dick asked. He had set his own bag down at his feet and Jason moved so he was now facing Dick, setting his paper next to him._

_"…Could you do Miranda's lines?" Jason hesitantly asked, circling the section he needed to read. Dick nodded, sitting cross legged beside the younger boy._

_"Okay, just don't get angry if I butcher it." Dick's weakest subject had always been English. Jason's strongest had always been just that. Dick spoke Miranda's lines, brows furrowing as he read over them, obviously trying to make sense of the dialect. He managed to speak her lines, looking dismayed when he stuttered over a particular word, Jason barely noticed the mistakes, staring at Dick as he finished. He did a quick glance of his lines before looking back at the older boy._

**_"I am in my condition_ **

**_A prince, Miranda—I do think, a king;_ **

**_I would, not so!—and would no more endure_ **

**_This wooden slavery than to suffer_ **

_**The flesh-fly blow my mouth…"** Jason trailed off after that line, looking up to meet Dick's curious gaze. He licked his lips, chin lifting in sudden confidence as his voice dropped into nearly a whisper._

**_"Hear my soul speak._ **

**_The very instant that I saw you did_ **

**_My heart fly to your service, there resides_ **

**_To make me slave to it, and for your sake_ **

**_Am I this patient log-man."_ **

_He spoke with such conviction and in that moment it was a confession. Dick smiled at his, eyes wide in delight as Jason managed the quote without any hesitation. Dick didn't doubt that Jason would ace the recital part. **"Do you love me?"** Dick looked at his lines. Jason's throat felt dry. He refused to look at his lines and instead stared into Dick's eyes._

**_"O heaven, O earth, bear witness to this sound_ **

**_And crown what I profess with kind event_ **

**_If I speak true! If hollowly, invert_ **

**_What best is boded me to mischief! I_ **

**_Beyond all limit of what else i' th' world_ **

**_Do love, prize, honor you."_ **

_Jason's voice was incredibly soft now, staring at Dick who was smiling as he looked from him down to the lines._

_"You were amazing," He murmured as he placed the paper down. "Sorry I butchered my part."_

_"No," Jason found himself breathing. "You were perfect." Dick smiled at this, baby blue and forest green lighting up in delight. He didn't speak and Jason couldn't look away._

_"I'll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well." Jason whispered and Dick blinked, looking to his lines in confusion, looking for the particular line and Jason in that instant was prepared to kiss him. He had never wanted to do anything so badly. Dick looked up, as Jason leaned forward and for a moment it seemed Dick was moving forward to. Maybe it was to kiss him, maybe it was to hug him, maybe it was all Jason's imagination, but nothing could stop him. He had to do this. The moment however was shattered when there was a sharp knock on the door and Dick turned his head as Jason quickly couched into his arm. The door open and Bruce peered in, blue eyes distracted._

_"Two Face was seen downtown," Bruce stated, looking from Jason to Dick. "Jason, you have homework to complete. Dick, come with me." Dick easily slid off the bed, grabbing his backpack. Bruce was already gone, not waiting to see if Dick was following. Dick glanced back to Jason._

_"We'll read over it more when I get back?" Dick offered and Jason nodded, trying to calm down his pounding heart._

_"Yeah," He managed. "Whatever." He watched Dick step out of the bedroom, and quietly close the door behind him. Jason fell back onto his bed with a groan. He had been so close. Fuck Two Face and fuck Bruce right now. He looked back to his homework and reluctantly picked it up. Dick would help him when he got back. Jason neatly piled the papers together, looking at the door again. He could go over his notes and wait nonchalantly for Dick to come back. He could keep his cool. No need to get panicky. He stood, stretching his limbs out and glancing out the window towards the darkening city line. He'd see Dick again later tonight, Jason nodded to himself. For now, he was going to shower and put on deodorant. Jason turned on his heel and headed out his room, making his way down stairs just in time to see Batman and Robin heading for the Batcave. Batman nodded once at him before he decided and Robin offered his a cheeky wave, grin far too mischievous as he flickered after Batman, his cape whipping around his body and out of sight._

_It would be the last time Dick would follow Batman._

* * *

When a Robin leaves the nest, they don't return. They go and build their own nests and begin their own lives out of the protection of their parents. Many Robins don't live to reach a year old. Plucked out of the air by larger birds or taken out while barely out of the egg. But maybe sometimes those Robins would allow themselves to fly by their old nest. Maybe they don't have to disappear forever.

Leaving the Titans Tower was not an easy decision, but it was time for the Titans to move on. There were other Titans that could watch over the city. New young heroes that were ready to branch out and start their own teams. Cyborg was already receiving offers to learn from the Justice League and the JLA was looking to Beast Boy to join the younger heroes rising up. He was at a perfect age to learn, grow and eventually lead them. Starfire wanted to visit Tamaran and her people there. Raven was prepared to move on. Perhaps she wished to see her mother or perhaps she wanted to explore the world. The Teen Titans were growing up and it was time to let go.

"Promise we shall reunite, yes?" Starfire ordered as she pulled both Beast Boy and Raven into a fierce hug. Cyborg was finishing giving all the final schematics for the tower to Bumble Bee who was preparing to interview new Titans for the location. Beast Boy managed to weakly pat Starfire on the back.

"Sure Star," He replied. "We'll hang out again." He promised and Starfire released a happy little sound before looking too Raven who cracked a rare smile.

"I'd like that." She admitted and hugged the taller girl. Starfire beamed, hugging her back gently. Dick turned to look at the two males on the team.

"I'll be seeing both of you around with the Justice League." Dick smiled at Cyborg and Beast Boy. The younger boy grinned, rubbing the back of his head. He was obviously over the moon with excitement. He was fourteen years old and ready to move on from the youngest on the team to a more mature role.

"It's gonna be sweet!" He declared, pointy teeth on display. Cyborg snorted, lips curved into a smile.

"Feels like just yesterday we were all moving in here." He mused looking around the living room. "Times flies..." He moved to say his goodbyes to Starfire while Raven and Beast Boy moved closer to speak. Dick allowed them the final moment and instead strode to look out the window, staring out towards the city. For three years he had protected this city. For three years he had lived with these people who had become family to him. He never thought he would build another family outside Young Justice. He never thought he would make friends like he had with them. It had been an interesting few years. The team had seen Dick at his weakest and helped build him back up. Now it was finally coming to an end. He blinked as he noticed Starfire's reflection standing behind him. She offered him a kind smile, green eyes sparkling.

"Friend Robin." She murmured and reached out a hand to Dick. She never had gotten used to him moving on from Robin. Dick took the offered hand and was quickly pulled into one of Starfire's bone crushing hugs. "I shall miss you." She declared against Dick's ear and the smaller hero hugged her back, stroking her hair.

"I'll miss you too, Star." He replied softly. "But this doesn't mean forever." He assured her and Starfire nodded, hugging him close.

"I'll see you again soon." She whispered as she pulled away, eyes dry and smile dazzling. "Keep flying, Robin." She took a step back, reaching for her own bag that rested by her feet. Dick watched her go and soon Raven came to say her goodbyes. They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, listening as Starfire loudly bid a final farewell to Beast Boy.

"You did will." Raven commented after a long moment, staring at the skyline at Dick's side. The sun was setting and the tower was slowly immersed in orange/gold lighting. "He'd be proud of you."

"Batman?" Dick's lips quirked and Raven smiled slightly, inclining her head.

"Your brother." She corrected and Dick turned, offering the girl a grateful smile.

"I'll see you around?" He asked hopefully and Raven moved, startling the first Robin with a hug.

"You will." She declared, and lightly pushed his arm. "Now get out of here. You have a nest to go to."

* * *

"It's unlocked." Called out a bored voice as the knock on the front door. The man was lounged on the moth eaten sofa, staring at the screen as Spongebob and Patrick sold chocolate door to door. He didn't bother to look up as the door quietly opened.

"Arty, did you bring the pizza?" He asked, not looking away from the screen. He flicked lint off his shirt.

"Still eating like a teenager." A teasing voice spoke up, startling the man on the couch. Wally West nearly fell over his own feet in his haste to reach Dick, literally lifting the younger boy up into his arms as if he was still thirteen. Slender, but strong arms quickly wrapped around the speedster's shoulder's as Dick hugged him back with a happy little noise that could nearly have been mistaken for a shriek of delight.

"Dude!" Wally cried out, hugging the younger man fiercely. "You're back!" He sneakers squeaked on the hardwood floors as he practically spun the hero around in little circles.

"Hi Wally." Dick greeted against Wally's shoulder. "I missed you too." His cheek was pressed into the older man's shoulder and Wally refused to release him. For a long moment they held onto each other, both so unspeakably happy to see each other after so many months apart. Finally, Wally pulled back, hands on Dick's shoulders as he looked the boy up and down. Dick had grown. Still quite a bit smaller than Wally, but it was obvious he was reaching adulthood. Wally had heard about a new Robin appearing beside Batman. It had been a shock after what happened with Jason, but there was now a new boy holding onto the mantle. He had heard rumor that Dick had finally released the role as Robin completely. That he was now going around as a new moniker.

"What do you go by now?" Wally asked curiously as he finally set Dick back down. "Why are you here? _NotthatI'mnothappyyou'rehere_. Are you going to Gotham?" Wally let out in a rush. He reached for Dick's hands which were always so cold. He gripped at them as if to warm them and the younger sniggered at the obvious attention

"Yeah, I'll be returning to Gotham for a bit. I've missed the city." Dick confirmed and offered his friend a bright smile. " Nightwing. And I think it's time I came home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quotes that Jason was speaking was from William Shakespeare's, The Tempest Act 3, Scene 1 and A Midsummer Night's Dream Act 2, Scene 1. Now we're approaching YJ Season 2!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s) This has a sexual situation between an underage boy 17 and a woman. If this at all disturbs you, turn away now.

_I stood outside the school yard, watching as the other students wandered off for the day. One of my classmates stood nearby, hands stuffed in pockets and lips chapped. His uniform was rumpled, a lot like my own, the sleeves rolled up in a way that the teachers never liked. He didn't look at me and I didn't speak to him. We just watched as the other kids raced off for the buses or to be picked up. Alfred was about ten minutes away. My name was Jason Todd. I was the street kid turned adopted son of Bruce Wayne. I was the second Robin and was in love with the first._

_"I heard your brother ran away." The kid suddenly said, digging through his pockets. I watched as he pulled out a box of cigarettes and fished one out, lighting it. He offered me one but I shook my head. Alfred would have my ass if e knew I had been smoking._

_"He's not my brother and yeah…he did." I admitted with a little shrug. Goldie had covered his tracks well. He had almost enough credits to graduate and from what Alfred had been saying, had taken the credits with him to finish on his last couple of classes needed. I pressed my back against the stone wall, reaching into my backpack and fiddling with my books and paperwork. The other kid watched me in mild interest. When he saw my copy of Pride and Prejudice he made a face._

_"Did you finish the assignment for last class?" He asked, flicking his cigarette. The ash burned orange on the pavement. My name was Jason Todd. I was the second Robin._

_"Hmm?" I looked up. "Yeah, I did." I didn't point out that I had gotten an A and that I now had a new favorite book. Could a guy be addicted to books? 'Cause I think I was. The kid nodded, looking out passed the parking lot._

_"I guess I should get on that soon." He muttered, kicking the dirt. "It's not as bad as Shakespeare. I can't even understand that shit." I tried not to let my anger show on my face at the disrespect for Shakespeare. Instead I shrugged, not offering a reply and opened my book to begin to read. The kid wandered off eventually._

_**"Nothing is more deceitful," said Darcy, "than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."** The corner of the book was worn to nothing and my finger brushed over the weak spot as I read. There was something in these pages that pulled me in. Their own issues and shit that I really couldn't relate to, but did. Everything was so set on class and money that people would throw away happiness for it. Mr. Darcy harped on it even when he wanted Elizabeth. The wealthy were too **elite** to love a low born. Wealth only made things worse. Wealth only took away from people being actual people. One day I wanted to see the system change. Money didn't mean superiority and there were people out there who were not born with a silver spoon in their mouth and offered the world more than some rich asshole who was only famous for the money they had. One day, I hoped it would all change. _

_My name was Jason Todd. I was still alive and still naive._

* * *

It was stupid to be thinking about my childhood. I wasn't a kid anymore. I was a weapon now. Everyday I was getting stronger. I wasn't that scrawny little street rat from Gotham or even that thief from Jump City. Talia was changing me into something else; something new. I was stronger and faster and still it wasn't enough. I still wasn't satisfied and I don't think Talia was either. She wanted me to push my own limits. She wanted me to break out of that molding Batman had made for me and embrace something _more_.

She waited until I turned seventeen to push things along. By then I had finally began to fill in. I had shot up and my arms filled out, my shoulders got wide and my chest suddenly resembled something out of an action flick than a teenager drama. I was finally beginning to look like a man even though I still felt like that scrawny street kid.

"You're a virgin." Talia stated one night after training commented. It wasn't a question. She already knew the answer. I still nodded my head, never daring to defy her in any way. She had followed me to my room, had watched me take off my sweat soaked shirt and toss it aside for a fresh one. I didn't even pause at her weird question, used to the random thoughts that popped into her head.

"Yes." I replied and she stared at me with that cold expression of hers for a long while. I held my fresh shirt in my hands, waiting for her to do or say something. Her silence always made me uneasy. Ever since I had come back from Jump City, she had been training me longer and harder. I think it was meant to be a fuck you to her fathers. Ra's was not fond of me after all. She went on about her _Beloved's_ folly with killing and how she wished to fix it through me.

"Lay on the bed." Talia instructed, expression never changing. She walked over to the door and pushed it shut. I moved to do as she ordered, heart pounding on my chest. I didn't even consider questioning or stalling. She gave an order and I followed. Imagine if Bruce could see this type of loyalty.

Talia approached me. "I use whatever weapons I have to meet my objective. You too will learn that you will need nothing more than your own body at times. Guns and knives are useful or course, but the mark of a true master comes with the ability to make something out of nothing." She came to the edge of the bed and my eyes widened when she crawled onto it, sliding over to straddle me.

"Touch me." She demanded and I was quick to do so, fingers moving over her skin lightly. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and grabbed my hand moving it to her hips. "You're like a child, constantly grasping but with little understanding." She scolded, dark eyes boring into mine. "I will show you how to control yourself and those around you without having to resort to needless brawling." She began to rock her hips, watching my reaction carefully. She was seated right over my crotch and the motion had it's attention. This had her smiling at me as if she had won some sort of game that only she knew the rules to.

"I-I-" I tried to speak and she held a finger to my lips, cutting me off. I was a stupid kid. I had never touched a woman before. I had never really even thought about it. Talia smiled at me again, something more tender than I was used to seeing.

"Don't fret, darling." She murmured softly. "You will enjoy it." I didn't doubt that. I was already getting hard, but why? What was her angle? She noticed that I was still not sure and she only laughed lightly. Her hands moved over my chest, tweaking a nipple. Then she leaned forward and placed a kiss to the center of my chest, followed by another one a little lower. Her lips were warm and I jerked each time she made contact with my skin. "Shhh," Talia cooed, moving down my body, her eyes never leaving mine. "Allow me to take care of you."

All at once I couldn't breathe. Her mouth was...I don't think I could even describe it. I could only lay there, gasping as she took me into her mouth, sucking the tip. I squeezed my eyes shut, panting as she took me all the way in. The noises it made had my toes curling. I gasped at the ceiling, her tongue moving up my shaft and she chuckled lightly, the sound making it all the more intense. Her mouth moved to my balls and I could barely breathe. It was the weirdest feeling in the world, but I didn't want her to stop for nothing. My fingers itched to grab her hair and hold her in place, but Talia Al Ghul was not a woman to be grabbed.

Instead I moaned as she rolled her tongue over my sac and back up my shaft, trying not to buck into her face. I couldn't describe how I felt. It felt amazing, her mouth was warm and my dick was obviously enjoying the attention, but I couldn't let go of the idea that she had planned something. Why else would she be sucking me off unless it was another one of her training exercises. Eventually she pulled away and it was a struggle not to try to reach out for her and pull her back.

"My sweet virgin," She cooed. "Give me your hand." I lifted my hand up quickly. Anything she wanted. Whatever she asked for. She took it in her own, brown eyes shining in the lighting of my room as she guided my hand downwards passed her chest and bellybutton. She placed my hand right over the batch of dark curls of her crotch and I jolted as my fingers brushed something wet. I knew how sex worked. I knew guys sprouted a hard on and girls got wet, it just surprised me is all.

"Tell me no and I shall stop," Talia breathed. My fingers moved through her wetness and her eyelids lowered as she moved her hips. "If you say no I will walk away and we will continue your training. Say yes and we will continue with this." She was at least giving me a way out, but she knew I couldn't say no. Not then, not with the power she had over me or the look she was giving me, like she already knew the answer. I wanted her. In that moment I really wanted her, damn the consequences. I crooked my finger and her eyes closed, lips pulling into a satisfied smile. "Is that your answer, Jason?"

"Yes." I breathed. "Please..."

* * *

"After all this time and you still think of that gypsy boy." Talia mused, running her fingers up my chest. Every time I have you, it's his name that you breathe into my ear. Would he even want you?" We were in Budapest following a mission. The hotel was high end and the bed large and comfortable. I just wanted to go to sleep. I hadn't even realized I had said his name. He was supposed to be something for me only to think of.

"He wouldn't." I replied, trying to keep my expression neutral. Talia smiled at me suddenly, shaking her head. Her hair was mused and she was so beautiful. How was it that I still only thought of someone I hadn't seen in two years? Someone who I didn't even know now. Was he even still Robin? Was he even alive, or had the Joker finished him off too?

"Loving someone who does not love you back is difficult." I wondered who Talia thought of in that moment. Was it Bruce or Batman? Was she using me as a replacement for him? Her eyes misted over in thought and she had seemed lost in thought. Then she shook her head and smiled at me. "I would have thought that after all this time you would have let him go. Perhaps it's just lust you feel for him."

"I thought of allowing you to pretend I am him to get it out of your system, but I would loath for you to continue whispering that name in my ear." Her lip curled at this and it was the first real clue I got about how much she disliked the first Boy Wonder. I stayed silent, not wanting to piss her off by saying something stupid. Talia pulled away from me, rising from the bed. She walked naked across the room and I couldn't look away. I watched as she grabbed her robe and drape it over her shoulders, looking over her shoulder to give me a pointed look. She walked to the door and opened it. I watched her peer down the hall and mutter something I couldn't hear. When she returned to the room, she wasn't alone.

A young guy followed her into the hotel room. I remained in the bed, horrified that this guy was here while I was naked under the was tall, only a little taller than me and a bit older. His hair was dark and his eyes a deep blue/grey. I looked from him to her and she clasped her hands behind her back. A sliver of skin could be seen through her robe, but she made no move to cover up.

"Pretend he's him. That is your training now." Talia instructed. The man didn't move, waiting to be ordered.

"I don't...I-" I looked from her to the man who was staring back in silence, waiting for Talia or me to give the go ahead. She nodded to the man who began to undress, unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing with careful fingers.

"He looks like him. From behind you could never tell." Talia hummed.

That wasn't true. This man might have had a passing resemblance to Dick, but he had none of his grace. His skin wasn't golden enough and his eyes more grey than blue. He was thicker to, arms muscular in a way that I couldn't picture Dick's. I tried imagining Dick as an adult, but all I could see was that scrawny teenager from a lifetime ago. Talia moved around the bed, reaching out to touch my arm.

"I don't want him...not anymore." I tried to say, but it sounded weak even to me and Talia clicked her tongue.

"And you shouldn't. Not after what he's done." She replied, shaking her head. I stared at her in confusion and she cocked her head at me. "Did I not tell you? A new Robin had been admitted by Batman, upon Richard's request. My sources say that this occurred two year ago, shortly after you left Jump City. He no longer goes by Robin. He wears new colors now and trains the new Robin. You have been replaced, Jason. You have been forgotten." I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. Lies it had to be lies... Bruce wouldn't have met another kid in my place...Talia's expression never changed and I knew she wasn't lying to me. I had been dead for five years and replaced in three. I should have been grateful they at least waited for my corpse to cool down, but the fact that there was even another Robin after what had happened to me. That title should have died with me. That role should not have been given out like some sort of treat. Something inside of me shifted that day. Like all the anger and pain I had still put behind me being a kid was washed away. Anything that made me Jason Todd had died with Talia's words. I looked away, trying to breathe steadily.

A new Robin...my title had been claimed. The Joker was out there and would face another Robin and I was dead. A new kid was running around in my colors and Bruce was training him as he had trained me.

_You have been replaced._

_You have been forgotten..._

"You want Richard, so have him." She whispered into my ear. "Because after today, if you whisper his name into my ear, I will fear that you are compromised and my training would have been wasted. Do not waste my time Jason." I looked at the man who looked like a Walmart version of the boy I had loved. There was the burning anger again, only intensified. He had mourned me. I knew that from the video I had seen, but he had placed another kid in front of Batman to replace the spot I had left. I wanted to have this man. I wanted to push him face first onto the mattress and grip his hair while I fucked him. I wanted to curse him and hurt him and all I could see was Dick. Bruce might have accepted this new brat, but it was Dick who suggested it. It was Dick who chose him. It was Dick who had forgotten me. It was Dick I wanted to hurt. Not this man who wasn't him. It was like a fire had been let out.

"No," I growled, standing and ignoring the fact that I was naked. I stared hard at Talia who raised one thin eyebrow. "You don't have to worry about that." The man was silent behind her, waiting to be given an order. I didn't look at me, glaring hard at the woman who had led me from my grave. Bruce might have replaced me and _he_ might have chosen the brat, but I was still here because of Talia. I wouldn't fail her anymore. I wouldn't let some ghost of a boy I knew come between us or my goals. If I wanted to kill the Joker, I had to get rid of all distractions. Talia dismissed the man who bowed before backing away. She turned back and watched me, expression closed off.

"Worry about what, Jason?" She asked finally as the door clicked shut. I regarded her closely, shoulders straightening and chin lifting. She knew what I was going to say. She just wanted to hear me say it.

"You won't hear his name again." I stated coldly. "He will never compromise me again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update! Also, is anyone reading this going to Boston Comic Con this year? Let me know! I'll be going as season three Daenerys!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s) Sexual content and background character death in this.

There was always a sense of trepidation with taking Talia to bed. It almost felt like it was another one of her tests. Being Talia's lover brought a whole new set of challenges for Jason to deal with. Her expectations for him now encompassed both him as a fighter and his ability to please her in the bedroom. She wasn't in love with him. He understood that and honestly, he wasn't in love wth her. Her feelings for Jason seemed almost like a twisted sort of affection that he didn't try to dwell on. He worked hard on both ends, training as a fighter and letting her lead him into a world she understood far better than he ever could. Her fingers would lightly stroke down his arm as she circled him, dark eyes fixed on his as she spoke to him.

"Beloved, you are nearly there." She murmured into his ear. He wanted to make her proud. Truly, he did. She had saved him from that cold cemetery and she had trained him, for reasons he didn't quite understand. He knew Ra's had faced off against Batman before, and it seemed Talia had a thing for him, but Jason didn't know much more than that. He wondered if they had ever fought before. He had never met Ra's, but had heard his name muttered by Batman many times. Talia of course as Ra's daughter would be an enemy of Batman. Had they ever even been together, or was it some weird one sided thing on Talia's part? Batman had always stressed to not fall with the enemy...although there was Catwoman...Was it just a way to show him that they had won? Was he just a tool? Jason didn't know and in all honesty, he didn't care. He had bigger things to worry about than Talia and Ra's goals.

Talia could keep her secrets. Why she would vanish for weeks at a time and what bases she went to that Jason was not privy to. There were secrets that she kept to herself that even as her lover, Jason would dare not ask.

He continued to train as hard as he could. It had taken him forever to reach an acceptable standard. For moths he would go to the training ring and despite the raw strength the pit had given him, he was easily overpowered again and again and again, all the while under Talia's scrutinizing stare and Ra's distaste. Talia would face off against him herself and each time she would take him down, lips curled into a satisfied little smirk, but eyes displeased and waiting for him to catch up. She was his goal and she reminded him again and again. He put their expressions to memory. Using it when he would hit the rings late at night, while all the others slept. He trained, forming his muscles and not stopping until he was preparing to drop from exhaustion. After months of facing off and failing, he stepped into the ring once more, where he faced one of Ra's assassins and in the end, Jason Todd had walked off the ring victorious. Talia had been pleased and it seemed even Ra's had no further complaints. Jason grew in both strength and body. Where once stood a tall, but scrawny little street brat with dirt under his nails and scabbed knees, now stood a heavily muscled man. Looking in the mirror, Jason could no longer see that skinny little brat he had once been. That kid had died years ago.

The first time Jason had killed a man was on Talia's orders. It was a traitor of the League, captured and left for Ra's to place a verdict on. It was a test and in the end, Ra's had looked to Talia who had turned to Jason.

"Before you can truly face the Joker, you have to be able to take a life." Talia instructed, voice echoing off the nearly empty training room.

Kill.

As in dead. As in taking a life. Batman's number one rule and Jason had to break it. He knew it was a test, she wanted to see if his loyalty was to her or still to Batman. She had given him an hour to prepare himself and then in the view of several members of the League, the traitor had been dragged forward and Ra's had handed Jason a sword. Jason had used that hour to consider what he would be doing. He would be killing a man he did not even know. A man who had done nothing to him...but the man had been of the League. The man had killed, the man had blood on his hands. How could Jason ever face the Joker if he could not even face one traitor? The sword had felt far too heavy in his grip, but Jason held it anyway. He felt young then; A child playing among adults. There was silence in the room, all awaiting what Jason would do. The damned man was bound, chin up and expression cold. There was no fear of death. If he could face his death unafraid then Jason should at least have the courtesy to face his test with the same strength.

Could he do it? Could he really kill this man? On Ra's order, on _Talia's_ order? If he slipped up now, it would all be for nothing. Jason rose the sword. There was a second of hesitation.

"Do it, boy," The traitor growled from where he knelt, dark grey eyes fixed on Jason. "Or are you a coward?" He spit at Jason's feet. Jason blinked once. Ra's was watching. Talia was watching. Whatever would Batman think?

_"Looks like the game's over, Rob," Joker teased, voice low. "Bird hunting season is in full swing."_

Within a blink of an eye, all of Batman's teachings would be tossed away as the traitors head was removed from its shoulders and bounced off the marble floor. It bounded, rolling across the floor, coming to a stop at Jason's feet and eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. There was silence. Jason could barely breathe. Blood ran across the floor, spreading out across the marble and turning it scarlet. Jason looked away from the dead man and caught Talia's eye. She nodded her head in approval and it was sickening ho it relieved Jason to see it. Perhaps that was the moment Jason became a man. It was his first kill, but he knew that it would not be his last.

Jason would have been content to stay within the League and continue with his life, but naturally, he grew restless. He could have pretended that there wasn't a world outside the League. That his very existence was with them, but each time Talia would leave for a mission, Jason would be reminded that there was a world out there and he wanted to face it. He lingered, training and fighting and learning all he could, but eventually, he was beating every other assassin thrown his way, going from the underdog, to unbeatable in a number of months. The day he managed to finally overpower Talia in the ring was the day that Jason knew it was time to move on. His final opponent had finally fallen to him and all the satisfaction of training felt hollow and dry. He was eighteen now and hungered to move on from what Talia offered him. Talia did not try to stop him. There were no complaints or resistance on her part. Just that little smile she always wore as if she was privy to some little secret that Jason would forever be ignorant to.

"Where will you go?" She had asked one evening, lounged on her bed, nude and perfect in every way; Jason had crawled up the bed, mouth moving towards her breasts and took a dark nipple in his mouth. She allowed him to continue for a moment, eyes falling shut as his fingers trailed down her stomach and into her curls. She already knew the answer. There was only one place he could go now. Jump City was nothing now and Jason had been planning. Jason was prepared to do what Batman staunchly refused to. The Joker was still in Gotham so that was where Jason would go.

"It's where he is." Jason had murmured against Talia's bare stomach, green eyes practically glowing in the dim lighting of the bedroom. Talia had hummed, reaching down to drip at Jason's dark hair with slender hands. If she closed her eyes she could almost feel the difference in texture between Jason's dark red hair to the patch of white that made up the front. Like two different parts of Jason, pre death and post resurrection. He had let the red seep back, he'd likely dye it again before leaving for Gotham. She pet him affectionately, as she tended to do when she had him alone.

Batman had failed to rectify his mistake in allowing the Joker to live and Jason was finally ready to fix it. Batman now had his newest Robin, had been training him for the last year or so as if he had any right to give the title away. Even after what had happened to Jason. Jason was still not certain about the new kid. He was his replacement and that was enough to get his blood boiling. He had taken his colors and his name and it seemed only fitting that Jason take this new brat away from Batman as he had been taken away years ago.

From what Jason had gathered on the Justice League, there had recently been an attempted invasion. The Justice League had not been available to take down the threat. Instead it had fallen to the sidekicks. Leading them, was a young hero called Nightwing. Talia didn't have to tell Jason his identity, just looking at the grainy footage of the young man was enough for him. He knew the jawline, he knew those lips as well as he knew his own. It was another one of Talia's tests. She had carefully watched Jason's reaction as he stared at the grainy footage of Grayson and he had passed with not a flicker of emotion. Robin had finally let go and in his place now stood Nightwing. Talia had informed Jason that it had been Nightwing who led a risky takedown that compromised many. It had all ended with Kid Flash's death, the invasion being foiled and Nightwing once again leaving the JLA. He had vanished for several months before very recently being spotted in Bludhaven, a city that had Gotham's sinister reputation.

Nightwing was out of the picture, leaving Batman, Robin and the Joker. Jason knew this would make things easier. He could confront Batman and take down the maniac all at once, and with the brat there...well Jason was still pondering on his plans for him. He didn't even have a name to go with the mask. Ra's knew it. From what Talia had told him, the old man seemed quite pleased with the third Robin, something about following well in Batman's footsteps. Nightwing had been too flighty and too soft in Ra's opinion, Jason had died and thus was a failure, and even in life had been far too emotional and filled with too much anger to emulate Batman, but the new kid was different. He, like Batman analytical and focused. The boy already took after the Bat in personality and Jason just knew that was going to be an interesting meeting. He would just have to see for himself if this kid could measure up. Ra's might be an expert on murder and detective skills, but he was not an expert on what a Robin was. He had no claims to knowing what it took to wear the mask.

Jason left for Gotham in the early morning of Autumn. The air was warm and the sky was beginning to lighten into day. Jason thought of Gotham. The early mornings would still be dark and there would be a bite to the air. It would be a stark difference from the dry heat of the desert. Jason had lived through many cold nights in Gotham. He was not concerned. He looked forward to it. Talia met him at the door, hair loose around her shoulders and smile warmer than Jason had remembered ever seeing it. She was smaller than him now, he realized, looking at her. When she had taken him from his grave, when he had woken with her by his side, he had reached just about her chin, now he towered over her by nearly a head. Talia was by no means a small woman, but Jason had finally surpassed her.

"You are ready." She stated, looking him up and down with keen eyes and a warm smile. Jason nodded, offering her a weak smile of his own.

"Thank you." He replied softly. "For everything."

Talia reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his own. "My boy is finally a man," She mused. "And he shall paint Gotham red." The smile she offered him was colder now, but it did not throw Jason off like it used to. It was a smile he knew all too well, one he was sure he wore himself.

She didn't kiss him goodbye and he didn't expect her to. Instead she watched as he strode from the base, duffle bag slung over his shoulder and posture straight and confident. Jason was long gone by the time Ra's approached his daughter who had not left the door. She stood casually, arms crossed and expression closed off. She turned to face her father and smiled at him in greeting.

"Father."

"Talia," Ra's greeted, coming to stand at her side. They looked over the morning sky, taking in the view. "He has gone?" Ra's asked, rich voice devoid of any real emotion. He was curious of course, Talia knew her father held interest for the second Robin, no matter what he pretended to feel.

"Yes, back to Gotham." She confirmed with a nod of her head.

"Excellent. I am sure the Detective will discover his identity eventually."

"He shall. I am more interested to see if Jason will actually go through with his goals."

"You doubt him?"

"No. He has the drive, he has the skill and there will always be those in Gotham who he deems unworthy of life. Gotham shall finally have her executioner. Yet, the Joker just might survive this." Talia sighed, arms uncrossing to land at her side. She didn't doubt that Jason would kill. He had done it for her already and he would do so again. Ra's hummed in response, hands clasped behind his back.

"It seems everything is falling into place." He mused, looking to his daughter who nodded.

"It is. Jason shall return to Gotham and with him, our teachings." Although, Jason was still far to crass and wild to truly be able to hone the skills needed to be one of them.

"And Damian?" Ra's replied and the woman blinked once.

"Not yet. I would like to see how Jason handles himself first." Ra's nodded his approval before leaving his daughter to her own devices. Talia smiled to herself. She turned from the doorway and strode back towards the citadel. As she passed a servant she spoke up. "Have my son brought to the training room, it is time he prepared himself to meet his father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Jason's going home and Damian will be introduced next chapter! Although he won't be going to Gotham quite yet! Thank you for the comments and kudos!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've gotten super busy with school and job(s) so updates are really slow! I haven't forgotten this story. Also, it is incredibly frustrating to type with acrylic nails. It's literally killing me.

Rumors of a new face showing up in the Gotham underbelly were soon catching like wildfire. He had come from thin air, it seemed. Like a ghost or demon that was haunting the city and taking down the vermin of Gotham with him. It had taken days for a witness to be able to describe this new vigilante. Red, was what was first spoken. Whoever was stalking the dark alleys of Gotham wore a red mask of metal that distorted their voice. It was quickly accepted that this person was male. Height and bulk alone seemed enough to draw such a conclusion. He had simply showed up one day, gun in hand and that had been it.

Gotham's executioner was now walking the streets and he quickly became known as Red Hood. At first it was feared that this guy was another Two Face or something. A bad guy that killed indiscriminately and found a thrill in it. Yeah, he killed. He killed a lot. But it wasn't like the Joker or Two Face. He didn't kidnap children or gut pregnant mothers. He went after the criminals. Like Batman, only darker somehow. Going that final step that Batman never did. He ended the criminals with cold precision, a permanent solution to the infestation.

_"How did this guy even get here?"_

_"He's killed twelve mobsters already. Word on the street is the Bat is trying to track whoever this guy is down."_

Commissioner Gordon was at a loss. The Red Hood was a criminal. It didn't matter if he was killing Gotham's Most Wanted. It didn't matter that his brand of justice was putting fear in the hearts of criminals. Gotham did not need an executioner. It did not need some mad man vigilante running the streets like a slaughter house. Batman was infamous enough. Now, there was this new guy that dismissed all decency of justice and life on his own personal crusade. Gotham was twisted enough and now it was going too far.

In his office, the Commissioner leaned against his chair, studying the pen twirling between his fingers. This city was like a Hydra. You get rid of one evil and two more pop up into its place. He itched to call Barbara and check up on her. He sighed, tossing the pen onto the desk and pinching the bridge of his nose. He was getting too old for this.

* * *

Killing was easy.

In all honesty, Jason thought it would be harder. He anticipated that Batman's 'No Kill' rule would rear its ugly head, but it never did. He never heard Batman's growl in his ear when he put his gun against some fucker's head and pulled the trigger. There was no reprimand or drawback, just Red Hood putting down the scum of Gotham. He had taken the mantle of Red Hood with a bitter sense of amusement. It had been the Joker's first and now Jason clutched the title with a sense of satisfaction. Perhaps it would offer some hint to the Joker of what was coming for him. The dark shadows of Gotham that one could only see from the corner of their eye was his hiding spot. He hadn't run into Batman or the Replacement yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time.

For nearly three weeks he stalked the darkened streets, killing the rapists and abusers. All he had to do was continue on and eventually, he would run into the Bat. He ran into the kid first. He must have split off from the Bat while canvasing the city and as luck would have it, he ran right into the Red Hood.

"Well, isn't this a surprise." Jason sneered under his mask and lifted the gun, pointing it at the kid that now wore _his_ colors. The kid went still, tensing as he stared at was scrawny. With hands and feet that seemed to big for his frame. His hair was dark and skin paler than even Jason's. Jason's fingers itched to pull the trigger and put the bullet between the brat's eyes. He would deserve it. He had taken something that wasn't his. Robin should have died with Jason, but now this kid with his big hands and pale face was masquerading as something he wasn't.

The new Robin didn't dare move. "You're the Red Hood," He greeted, voice solemn. "I've heard a lot about you." Jason didn't doubt that. Batman would have had him pinged as soon as he showed up in the city.

"Then you should know to stay out of my way." Jason replied, head cocked and gun steady. The kid didn't move, hands spread to show he had no weapon. "Where's your keeper, brat? He can't be too far behind." He took a step forward, feet silent as he stepped across the grease slicked concrete. The kid remained still, knowing better than to try anything with a gun pointed at his face.

"You're killing people." The brat finally spoke again. "Batman can't let you keep doing that." There it was. That annoying moral compass that Batman had stamped into their minds. Killing was wrong, justice was merciful. It was time the kid learned about the real world. Mercy meant nothing. Not when it only led to more death and destruction. This new brat might wear Robin's colors, but he wasn't worthy of it. Jason had died for these colors and Bruce thought it was a good idea to just give them away like an old sweatshirt? Was Robin really that expendable?

"As if he could stop me." Jason spat out. "Learn early kid, Batman lacks the ballsack to actually stop threats in their tracks. You have a tumor on your skin you need to cut it out, not medicate and allow it to come back again and again."

"Are you saying Gotham's cancer?" The kid questioned and Jason shrugged.

"It sounds fitting. Take down one growth and another is going to follow. There's never a reprieve, unless you cut it at the source. Isn't that right Batman?" Jason spoke up without turning to face his former mentor who now stood on the roof of the building overlooking the pair. The kid looked up to Batman, shoulders relaxing as if he knew he was safe now.

"Red Hood." Batman spoke up and Jason ignored the pang in his chest at hearing the man's voice again. He turned to face Batman, gun moving away from the kid's face so he could study his former mentor with no distraction. Looking at him was as if no time had passed. Same hard line of a mouth under that damed hood. The expression was a familiar one as well. He had seen it directed at plenty of the Bat's enemies while he had been Robin and now it was directed at him. How the times had changed. Jason grinned, although who could tell with the mask on as he looked Batman over.

"I wondered when you'd show up." He called out. He made a sweeping motion with his arm, still intently watching his former mentor. "Do you not appreciate the gift I've so kindly given you?"

"Gift? You think killing people is a gift?" Batman bit out, voice echoing eerily in the alleyway. The kid shifted from his left to right foot, watching the exchange with a critical eye, no emotion on his face. Well, at least Batman managed to teach _one_ of them that.

"Isn't it? Look around. It's gotten awfully quiet since I started offing all the drug lords. They're starting to learn what can happen to them." The street lamp flickered and the kid glanced towards it, shoulders tensing. Ah, so he still had his little issues. Still spooked by the dark.

"Killing only continues the cycle." Batman replied, coolly. "Gotham doesn't need an executioner." A car drove by, illuminating the alley in shadows and light. Jason chuckled, twirling his gun, thoughtfully.

"Gotham needs deliverance, and I'm offering it." Jason's smile was twisted and bitter beneath his mask. He did not mention the Joker, he didn't mention the former Robin. Now was not the time.

"You think of yourself as some prophet." Batman bit out, taking a measured step towards Red Hood who did not move an inch. You're a tyrant. You delivered the heads to the police station with a post it note. You're no better than they are." No better than the rapists and abusers. Huh, well wasn't that just lovely?

"I guess we'll see about that, won't we." Jason replied. The kid moved again, fingers twitching. He could feel the tension. He could feel the change. Batman moved again, prepared to end it. Jason took a steady step back. "You can't stop this." He jeered. "You won't be able to." This was his revenge. This was his payback for Batman failing him.

"Watch me." Batman intoned, voice gravelly and painfully familiar. He stared at Jason as if he was scum and it was exhilarating. Like each unworthy life he took, the satisfaction was nearly tangible.

Jason cocked his head, amused. "Then let's get started. Your methods have failed and I will end it now. Gotham will be delivered and the street will be coated with the blood of anyone who tries to stop me." He looked towards the kid, who was now watching Batman. Batman moved forward, seeming to realize what was about to happen. Jason smiled. His replacement would learn the price of his title. "There will be loud wailing throughout Gotham—worse than there has ever been or ever will be again." **(1)** Jason pointed the gun at the kid and fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Exodus 11:6


	16. Chapter 16

The bang was deafening, seeming to fill the air with a monstrous roar. Robin dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes, a weak cry emitting from him as he collapsed. Batman had moved towards him, reaching him and for that moment, forgetting about Red Hood as he tried to assess the damage. This gave Jason a moment to simply watch his former mentor. Watching that cold, detached masked face grimace as he reached the boy. Had he looked like that when Jason died? Had he felt that hopeless and enraged? His teeth were gritting together, jaw clenched. Jason kew that look far too well. Batman wasn't as closed off as he liked to pretend he was. He was weak. His inaction proved it.

"-B-Bat..." The brat managed to speak up, head titled back as he stared up at Batman's looming figure. Batman hushed him, applying pressure to the wound. He turned, cape snapping as he moved to confront the Red Hood but the man was gone, vanishing into the cold Gotham night without a sound. The sidewalk remained painted crimson and Tim's breath came out sharp and pained. A noise Batman had become far too accustomed to.

He would find the Red Hood eventually. For now, he needed to help his boy.

* * *

The kid survived. In all honestly, Jason hadn't been all that sure if he was aiming to kill him or not, but it didn't matter. The kid had managed to move a bit at the last second and instead of dropping dead with a hole in his heart, he now had a very impressive scar in his shoulder. He'd be down for some time to heal and with luck, the damage would not be permanent. He would be out on the streets of Gotham again in no time. Batman still had a Robin and the brat still had a pulse. He was lucky.

With his attack and survival came a price. The Red Hood had now placed himself above the usual scum of Gotham. He was now dangerous. He was now capable of more than a robbery or drudge work. The Red Hood was a threat and Batman always paid close attention to a threat. Jason wondered what that even really meant. Two-Face was a threat. _Joker_ was a threat and nothing had been done. The Joker had been laying low for the last couple months, no doubt plotting something. Jason had waited years for his revenge. He could last a little longer. He could wait for the man to make an appearance.

There was a satisfaction with shooting the kid. Sure, the brat hadn't don anything to him personally, but the fact remained that he now wore those colors. He now claimed a name that he had no right to. That alone gave Jason reason to want to take him down a notch. What was it about the brat that Jason hated so much? That he took his identity like it was a hand-me-down or that it was _Grayson_ who gave him the honor? Jason mulled over this as he paced his hideout. His helmet sat on the counter, staring at him in silent judgement.

 _'_ _Are you weak, Jason?'_ Talia whispered into his ear.

Jason ran a hand through his mused hair, biting his lip to keep the frustrated snarl from escaping He couldn't afford to lose it now. He had a mission to complete. Still, seeing Bru-Batman had done more than he had expected. He had trained for this. Mentally prepared himself to see his former mentor again. Yet, here he was now. It was as if nothing had changed. Batman was still Batman and still defending the streets of Gotham. There was still a Robin at his side but it was the wrong _one_. This kid was too scrawny to be Jason and had none of the fluid grace that… _he_ had. All Jason saw was this gawky, awkwardly proportioned brat. He had no right to wear that uniform. He had no right to stand at Batman's side. Batman had no right to take another. As if Robin was disposable and replaceable.

Jason stalked towards his helmet, the floor creaking under his feet as he grabbed the helmet and secured it on his face. Gotham's reckoning had only begun. Bruce had been too weak to stop it, but Jason wasn't. The Red Hood wasn't.

Not anymore.

* * *

It was hard to describe them. If Gotham was famous for the depraved and disgusting, then Bludhaven was the less shiny version of it. Gotham was filled with darkness and corruption, but had a prettier design. Dick recalled talking with Roy one evening. Roy had taken a drag from his cigarette, head tilted back as smoke escaped his nostrils.

_"Gotham's shitty but with a prettier picture. Bludhaven is like Gotham's crack addicted dead little sister with maggots crawling out of her cooze."_

Dick had been mortified by Roy's choice of words, but perhaps there was some truth to them. Bludhaven in ways was worse off than Gotham. It had no Batman to defend its streets and no Commissioner Gordon to boost the morale of the police force. It was just corruption and chaos throughout and when good did manage to rise it was swiftly snuffed out. When Dick had left the JLA, he had done so thinking he would leave Nightwing behind as well, but once he reached Bludhaven, he knew he had to do something. He had left to escape Gotham and escape Wally's ghost that shouted at him and despised him.

Yet, here he was months later wearing the spandex and protecting the streets as if he could do nothing else. He joined the police force, against Bruce's wishes and was making a name for himself besides being Batman's sidekick or Bruce's charity case. He was finally branching out, although, with the job title came new enemies. One that had recently begun making trouble for Dick was named, Roland Desmond, also called Blockbuster. It had seemed to happen overnight with Blockbuster taking a quick disliking to Nightwing. Dick knew he would have to sort this out soon as well as deal with other criminals within the city, including Catalina Flores who had taken quite a shine to Dick that he did not understand and left him on edge. Something about her just rubbed Dick the wrong way. He hoped he was wrong.

It was different from Gotham and different from Jump City. Different was good. Perhaps it was true, he sort of missed the camaraderie and excitement from the Titans as well as fighting against Slade and Red X, but it had been time to move on. Dick was like his mother and like his father. He could not stay in one place for long. He was still that robin he had been when leaping into his mother's arms. Not one place could hold him, he was free. Perhaps he was only running, as he always did. Running from Gotham, running from Jump City and now running from Wally's ghost.

His answering machine blinked at him. Five messages that he knew by heart. One from Barbara from months ago, teasing him about never picking up his phone. A message from Bruce, grunting at him to call back on some 'family business. A message from Tim, calling to ask if Dick knew the wifi code. The fourth from...from Wally, angry and hurt and snarling at him that he had better not fuck everything up...the last words he had from him and it had been in anger. The fifth message was from Artemis, voice thick and firm as she asked Dick to call her back. He never did. What could he possibly say to her? Sorry I failed you and the man both you and I loved? There was nothing he could say, so he said nothing and hoped she would forget him like all the others.

He worked. Days in uniform and nights in kevlar. A living, breathing weapon that felt too weak somedays to even take that first step into the night. Dick had finally been enjoying his first day off in weeks. His apartment was his own little save haven from the world at large. It was a tiny little place with peeling wallpaper and cracked glass. The walls were paper thin, allowing all sort of noise to vibrate through the little room. It was a shit hole, but it was Dick's and nothing could take that from him. His phone ringing pulled Dick from his thoughts. He glanced towards the clock, noting the late hour and wondering who could be calling at such a time. He picked the phone up and placed it against his ear. It buzzed in his ears, cracking and staticky.

"Hello?" He spoke up, voice hesitant as he waited for the other person to speak. "Alfie!" Dick greeted, a smile spreading across his face as the tension in his shoulders relaxed. "How are you?" He asked and slowly that smile slipped away. He listened to the man's voice, only half comprehending as if listening from down a very long tunnel. He understood though. Understood what exactly this call meant.

_Timothy, shot, hospital, Red Hood._

A new villain had appeared in Gotham. Like Hydra, you cut off one head and three more appear in its place. Robin was hurt. _Tim_ was hurt. This new villain had appeared with a bang and it left Dick's mouth feeling dry. Another boy appeared in his mind. Another Robin that the world forgot.

_Jason, explosion, dead, the Joker…_

"I'm on my way." He replied, finally managing to find his voice. "I'll be there soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some harsh language in this chapter.


	17. Chapter 17

Jason sat on the edge of the bed, meticulously cleaning his gun. He could hear the faint sound of traffic outside his window. The ambiance of Gotham was never changing it seemed. Jason glanced at his dirty oily fingers, observing the black between his nails and the scrape on his knuckle. He set the gun aside, flexing his dirty fingers before standing and walking to the kitchen sink to wash them. He had rented the shitty room from an elderly man with a crooked front tooth. The rooms were obviously in terrible condition with the cracked windows and stained paper thin walls, but it would do for now.

The replacement was alive, but Jason had gotten his message across. Seeing Bruce had been...Jason washed his hands harder, scrubbing them raw with the force he was using and leaving his flesh red. Same Bruce; Same stoic, unattached asshole, but with a new brat at his side. Jason turned off the tap and wiped his hands on his pants, having no paper towels around. On the cabinet above his head, he could see a swastika carved into the wood and his lips curled into a sneer. Gotham was filled with trash and he would see it burn. Staring at the swastika had memories flooding his head, that he would have rather forgotten.

_It was back in school and Grayson was standing by his locker, staring at the door. Jason could barely make him out with all the other students in the way._ _There was a wide berth of students surrounding him. You know those silences that just aren't right? Like when it really doesn't belong. A high school hallway is one of those places. From the corner of Jason's eye he could see that girl Artemis, standing some feet away and looking_ _mortified_ _as she stared towards Grayson. Jason walked closer, bag slung over his shoulder as he prepared to call out to him. The boy shoved one kid out of his way so he could clearly see Dick._ _There were paper cut outs glued all over his locker. Dick's face was ashen._

_Jason stared at it in confusion, not getting why Grayson looked so freaked out. "Dick." He spoke up, voice feeling too loud in the silent hallway. Dick didn't look away from his locker. Jason followed his gaze. Someone had cut out triangles on brown paper and glued them upside down all along Dick's locker. There was nothing written on the paper, just a dull brown that seemed to have the older boy lost for words. Jason reached out towards him, backpack falling to the floor, mouth open to call his name when Dick moved. He rushed at his locker, hands reaching out to grasp at the paper triangles and rip them off the door, his hands were shaking and people were staring._

_"Dick." Jason reached for his arm and he jerked away, tearing the paper aside with single minded focus. Under those brown triangles, someone...someone had spray painted a swastika. It all became clear in Jason's head at that moment. Dick was the popular one. Dick was the attractive one, but Dick was also...Dick was also a target. Those triangles and that hateful **fucking** symbol proved it. Jason saw red._

_"Who the fuck did this!?" He spun towards the hoard. No one would speak up. Most of the students looked either confused or horrified, but there were three who were fighting to keep straight faces. It didn't take a genius to know it had been them._ _It was one of the many times Jason had been suspended for fighting. It was one of the many times he hadn't given a shit. Dick's grateful smile had been reason enough. Not even Bruce's disapproval or Alfred's lecture could dampen that smile in Jason's mind._

Jason blinked, tearing his eyes from the symbol and stepping away from the sink as if burned. It was dangerous to let his mind wander off like that. He couldn't afford to think about the past, not when he was just starting to get over it. Talia had taught him well, he couldn't fuck it up now; Not over thinking about Grayson. He cracked his neck, skin tingling in discomfort. That wired and anxious feeling he always had when dealing with shit was slowly coming back. His eyes moved to stare at the swastika, willing it to burn right then and there. If that shitty little symbol wasn't enough of a reason to continue on then he didn't know what was.

* * *

After the call from Alfred, Dick had been quick to pack, throwing articles of clothing into his bag without looking them over. All he could think of was Alfred's muffled voice in his ear. Tim was hurt. Someone had hurt his brother. Dick zipped his bag closed, slinging it over his left shoulder and scanning his bedroom quickly. He strode out of his room, into the darkened living room where his keys sat on the worn counter. He made it half a step before he stopped, shoulders stiffening and breath halting. He felt a tingling up his spine and he didn't dare move. "Nightwing." A voice called out from the dark.

Dick released his breath, still not relaxing. "Hello Slade." He greeted. Funny how in the span of a few years, Slade would go from Robin's arch-nemesis to Nightwing's...well, Dick really had no idea how to label what they were now. Still, it did not stop the uneasiness from filling his stomach. "Why are you here, Slade?" Dick finally asked, dropping any sense of politeness from his voice. Slade hummed tunelessly, watching Dick.

"You're returning to Gotham." He observed and Dick shrugged. "Looks like it." He replied, shifting the bag. He didn't have time for Slade's games; Not now. Slade's eye remained focused on Dick's face, searching for something that Dick couldn't place. Dick had long since stopped trying to hide his face from Slade. Slade knew who he was, there was no point in hiding anymore. It wasn't like Slade was as mysterious as he had once been, either. Slade Wilson, former soldier. Mercenary for hire with no real allegiances. The monster wasn't so very monstrous anymore. Not like the Joker...no one would ever be able to reach where the Joker had. Slade had morals, no matter how warped and self serving they were. Dick had seen his face. Had put it to his memory. Every scar, every line. He now knew Slade as well as Slade knew him.

"Your brother was wounded; The new Robin." The way Slade said Robin was nearly dismissive, as id he didn't approve of the latest addition to the family. Dick would have rolled his eyes at this, but he was too hung up on the fact that Slade knew about this, already. How could he know already? Dick had only gotten the call less than an hour ago.

"How do you-"

"Word gets around fast, Nightwing." Slade sounded like his was chiding him and Dick fought down the dismissive snort he wanted to release. Of course, Slade would be in the loop. He always had an ear on the inside. He knew things before anyone else tended to. Was it his connections or was he just that involved with the underworld? Dick would have loved to stand here and argue. Instead he shrugged once more.

"Good, so you know I'm in a bit of a hurry, so can we continue this later, maybe never?" Dick asked, voice light but annoyed. Slade clicked his tongue, taking a step forward. Dick didn't dare move, back straight and tense.

"You will not like what waits for you there." Slade finally replied as if reluctant to say the words. "What do you mean?" Dick stared hard at the mercenary. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears, fearful for what Slade knew that he didn't. Slade continued to watch Dick with that intense stare that never had waned over the years. Dick fought not to fidget under it. Slade looked away, chiseled face heavily shadowed in the dim lighting of Dick's apartment.

"You will have to see for yourself." He replied, deep voice going softer than Dick remembered having ever heard it. Gone was the molten honey tones, now there was this weariness that Dick wondered if it was directed at him or something else. Slade took a step back, looking Dick up in down with a critical eye. "Be careful in Gotham. You are well aware what it's like there." Before Dick could give a reply, Slade had moved towards the open window, managing to slip through with surprising ease for a man of his size. Dick watched him go, rooted to the spot.

What did Slade know that Dick didn't?

**Author's Note:**

> Dick doesn't have Heterochromia in Canon, but I had always imagined in Teen Titans verse that he did and I incorporated it across universe. I also have Dick as being completely Romani, rather than just a distant heritage and I always pictured Jason as Catholic in his first life. I hope that these things don't turn anyone off from this story!


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